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Welcome to "ADHD and Marriage"

Helping adults thrive in relationships impacted by ADHD
Dr. Edward Hallowell and Melissa Orlov blog about marriage when one or both spouses has ADHD. What is it like? What are common themes in marriages with ADHD? What strategies can be used to improve these relationships? How can struggling couples get their marriages back on track so both partners can thrive?

New Here? Is This Site Right for You? READ THIS!

You may have ADHD, or you may be married to someone with ADHD and wondering whether it may be affecting your relationship.  This site can help you learn much more BUT PLEASE READ THIS before you explore for the first time!  Let me introduce you to what’s here. >>> Read more >>>

Now, get two free chapters of The ADHD Effect on Marriage when you register for this site! (Register here)

Being the Bad Guy and Telling Kids about Parental ADHD

I recently heard from a couple with several children, one of whom has ADHD.  The husband also has ADHD and is struggling to get his symptoms under control.  He rarely follows up on what he promises to do, which is driving his wife crazy.  She is responding with typical parent/child dynamics - taking over everything he isn't doing, and getting on his case about his failures in angry and belittling ways.  In this context, the husband asked the question "Should we tell our kids about my ADHD?  My wife is concerned that she is always coming across as the bad guy, rather than me."  Hold up there!  Let's discuss both the question and the answer! >>> Read more >>>

How to Remember Agreements When ADHD is Involved

Do you fight over whether or not you agreed to something in the past?  Or perhaps you're a non-ADHD partner frustrated that your ADHD partner doesn't seem to remember your conversations?  If so, I would like to suggest a simple solution that will help you avoid these fights. >>> Read more >>>

Social Skills and Adult ADHD

Adults with ADHD may feel awkward in social situations or have difficulty communicating.  I recently got a note from a man with ADHD who said he needed tips on how to better meet interesting women and make close friends.  Here are a few suggestions: >>> Read more >>>

Slipping Backwards in ADHD Relationships

For those of you who have learned new tools and had been doing better but are frustrated that things have gotten worse again, you are not alone!  I am embarrassed to say that even in my own relationship it took a recent shocker of a conversation to get us back on track again.  I write about it here because I think many of you will find the story and its outcome reassuring.  Couples have setbacks, even those who have learned new techniques for finding happiness in their relationship.  But don't despair because you can get past the setbacks, just as you did the origina >>> Read more >>>

Memory and Focus Training for Those with ADHD

ADDitude Magazine has just posted a good article about three different types of memory and focus training, how they work, and the basic research behind them.  CogMed, which I talk about in my course and book, is one of them, and has been researched for adults as well as children.  You can find the article here.

How Do I Get My Husband To Give Us Another Chance?

A woman wrote me recently explaining that her ADHD husband had announced that he didn't love her, and possibly never had.  She is in the middle of a much-needed reset of her own non-ADHD behaviors - anger, belittling and the like, saying that reading my book made her reassess her own behaviors and that she was actively trying to improve herself with therapy and other hard work.  They have children, and she asks the very important question of "how do I get him to give us another chance?" >>> Read more >>>

Get Control of Electronics Before They Ruin Your Relationship!

Excessive use of electronics is not a neutral activity when it comes to relationships – it takes time away from family and partners.  In our house it can feel as if my husband’s electronics rule my life.  If I ask a question or sound speculative about anything, the first thing he does is whip out his phone to look up the answer.  He views it as being helpful and interesting.  I view it as a distraction that pulls his attention away from me and from our conversation. >>> Read more >>>