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Welcome to "ADHD and Marriage"

Helping adults thrive in relationships impacted by ADHD
Dr. Edward Hallowell and Melissa Orlov blog about marriage when one or both spouses has ADHD. What is it like? What are common themes in marriages with ADHD? What strategies can be used to improve these relationships? How can struggling couples get their marriages back on track so both partners can thrive?

New Here? Is This Site Right for You? READ THIS!

You may have ADHD, or you may be married to someone with ADHD and wondering whether it may be affecting your relationship.  This site can help you learn much more BUT PLEASE READ THIS before you explore for the first time!  Let me introduce you to what’s here. >>> Read more >>>

Now, get two free chapters of The ADHD Effect on Marriage when you register for this site! (Register here)

Online ADHD Research Study Looking for ADHD and non-ADHD Participants

Adults with ADD/ADHD are needed to participate in an Internet study examining emotional responses to pictures.  Adults who do not have ADD/ADHD are also needed, to provide a group to compare to.  Participants will view a number of photographs and answer a couple of questions about each one; the experiment takes 20-30 minutes to finish.

Participants who complete the on-line experiment can enter a drawing that will offer a 1 in 25 chance of winning a $25 Amazon.com gift card, and will be helping researchers and clinicians to better understand the experiences of adults with ADD/ADHD.

This study has been approved by Pacific University’s IRB.  If you’re interested in participating, or would like more information, please visit the study Web site at this link.

This study does not have to do with personal relationships and does not take too long to finish (I have taken it).

Memory and Focus Training for Those with ADHD

ADDitude Magazine has just posted a good article about three different types of memory and focus training, how they work, and the basic research behind them.  CogMed, which I talk about in my course and book, is one of them, and has been researched for adults as well as children.  You can find the article here.

How Do I Get My Husband To Give Us Another Chance?

A woman wrote me recently explaining that her ADHD husband had announced that he didn't love her, and possibly never had.  She is in the middle of a much-needed reset of her own non-ADHD behaviors - anger, belittling and the like, saying that reading my book made her reassess her own behaviors and that she was actively trying to improve herself with therapy and other hard work.  They have children, and she asks the very important question of "how do I get him to give us another chance?" >>> Read more >>>

Get Control of Electronics Before They Ruin Your Relationship!

Excessive use of electronics is not a neutral activity when it comes to relationships – it takes time away from family and partners.  In our house it can feel as if my husband’s electronics rule my life.  If I ask a question or sound speculative about anything, the first thing he does is whip out his phone to look up the answer.  He views it as being helpful and interesting.  I view it as a distraction that pulls his attention away from me and from our conversation. >>> Read more >>>

Stay Engaged Here Even After You're Happy

The basic progression in the forum here is to find it when in terrible pain, post about that pain, get lots of feedback (helpful and not), work on your relationship (sometimes for years) and resolve.  One resolution is to leave your partner.  Another is to stay and create a happy relationship.  If you are one of the people who has repaired your relationship and sees success, consider paying everyone here back by staying a bit involved with the site and posting about your positive experiences.  People here need to hear from those who are successful in their efforts - yet success and happiness lead many to stop visiting and posting.  Thanks to Aspen for recently jumping in about the now happy state of her relationship...I urge others, over time, to do the same.  I thank you in advance for your contributions!

For ADDers Who Are Tired of Being Told It's All About the ADD

Are you tired of having your partner point to your ADHD as the source of your marital problems?  I heard this today from a frustrated ADHD client, and it's a common refrain.  Does the label actually matter?  Is the ADHD the source of the issues?  If you are working with a counselor (like me) who specializes in ADHD, does this put too much emphasis on ADHD? It's a legitimate concern that I would like to discuss here. >>> Read more >>>

Tips for Treating ADHD When You Have No Insurance

Being without insurance doesn't have to mean you can't make progress against ADHD.  Here are some specific ideas to keep the cost of treatment as low as possible: >>> Read more >>>