Melissa's "Psychology Today" blog

The 5 Ways Not to Talk to Your Partner

Struggling partners can get so caught up on the importance of communicating their most heartfelt feelings that they forget that good communication is both about what you say and how (and when) you say it.

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A First Step to Becoming Partners Again

As adults with ADHD struggle to stay organized and complete tasks, their non-ADHD partners tend to overcompensate and take on too much. This leads to an unhealthy imbalance of power between partners and typically destroys intimacy. Fixing the issue takes time, but a first step can be to better coordinate chores. Here's how to do it when ADHD is present.

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ADHD Relationships: When Helping Out Hurts Your Partnership

Do you worry that your ADHD partner seems more like another child than a partner? Or do you feel as if your partner is constantly nagging or reminding you to get things done? You may be suffering from a common power imbalance in ADHD-impacted relationships—'parent/child dynamics.'

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50 Ways NOT to Leave Your ADHD Lover

Paul Simon may sing about ways to leave your lover, but what about ways to stay with him or her? Here are 50 immediately usable tactics that help couples impacted by ADHD strengthen their relationship.

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ADHD Doesn't Cause Divorce, Denial Does

It's easy to blame adult ADHD for the higher rates of dysfunction and divorce couples with one or more ADHD partners experience. But ADHD is very treatable. Lack of diagnosis and denial are the real culprits.

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Relationship Basics 101

Flipping off your spouse or screaming and yelling are not what loving relationships are supposed to be about. These relationship basics remind couples where they need to focus to get back on track.

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What They Love About Their ADHD Spouses

Spouses tell what they love about their ADHD partners, highlighting some important positive ADHD traits. Remembering the good while highlighting the effectiveness of ADHD treatment can give struggling couples something to strive for.

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When Work Interferes with Love

It can be lonely when your partner is engulfed in work and has little time for you. These strategies can help you remain happy, healthy and (with a bit of effort from your partner) connected.

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Pressing the ADHD 'Reset' Button

Some ways are better than others when it comes to improving focus and managing the everyday overwhelm of their ADHD. Here's one strategy - creating a "recalibration" routine.

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Everybody Has ADHD! No, They Don't

People who have ADHD are confronted by media articles or other people who think that ADHD is just an excuse - a case of having too much to do "just like everyone else," or being lazy in a busy world. Research shows those naysayers are dead wrong.

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Are People with ADHD Lazy?

Do you see your ADHD partner or your child's inability to finish what he started as a sign of laziness or selfishness?

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About Ritalin, Scare Tactics, and Medications for Kids with ADHD

Ritalin and other stimulant medications used to treat ADHD continue to be a political football, a hot-button issue in which parents are asked to be either "for" them or "against" them. In this interview ADHD expert, Dr. Edward Hallowell, provides important insight into the role stimulants should—and should not—play in treatment.

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Changing the Story of Your ADHD

"Story editing" is a technique which can help couples struggling with the impact of ADHD in their relationship more accurately describe their situation and create a roadmap for a happier future.

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