Melissa's "Psychology Today" blog

Taking the Risk to Love Over the Long-Term

What do you do with the information that your partner is capable of betrayal? Or that he or she has trouble holding a job? Love over the long haul takes open eyes and a certain amount of fearlessness.

What Role, Obligation?

An obligation to stay together can lead couples to accept - and reinforce - a negative or dysfunctional relationship. Instead of "waiting it out," seek help.

Overcoming Relationship Inertia

Here's a conundrum with getting an ADHD evaluation: Often the partner who suspects he or she has ADHD has the classic symptoms -- including procrastination. This inhibits his ability to follow through and set the appointment needed to get treatment for...procrastination! Meanwhile, the other partner waits and waits while the relationship continues to struggle...

He Never Plans a Date!

Should women take over all responsibility for planning dates when a partner's ADHD gets in the way?

The Tension Hidden in ADHD-Impacted Relationships

The symptoms of ADHD result in behaviors that may strike at the heart of healthy relationships. Couples who understand the tension between symptoms and expectations will be more equipped to unravel the problems between them.

The 5 Ways Not to Talk to Your Partner

Struggling partners can get so caught up on the importance of communicating their most heartfelt feelings that they forget that good communication is both about what you say and how (and when) you say it.

A First Step to Becoming Partners Again

As adults with ADHD struggle to stay organized and complete tasks, their non-ADHD partners tend to overcompensate and take on too much. This leads to an unhealthy imbalance of power between partners and typically destroys intimacy. Fixing the issue takes time, but a first step can be to better coordinate chores. Here's how to do it when ADHD is present.

ADHD Relationships: When Helping Out Hurts Your Partnership

Do you worry that your ADHD partner seems more like another child than a partner? Or do you feel as if your partner is constantly nagging or reminding you to get things done? You may be suffering from a common power imbalance in ADHD-impacted relationships—'parent/child dynamics.'

50 Ways not to Leave Your ADHD Lover

Paul Simon may sing about ways to leave your lover, but what about ways to stay with him or her? Here are 50 immediately usable tactics that help couples impacted by ADHD strengthen their relationship.

ADHD Doesn't Cause Divorce, Denial Does

It's easy to blame adult ADHD for the higher rates of dysfunction and divorce couples with one or more ADHD partners experience. But ADHD is very treatable. Lack of diagnosis and denial are the real culprits.

Relationship Basics 101

Flipping off your spouse or screaming and yelling are not what loving relationships are supposed to be about. These relationship basics remind couples where they need to focus to get back on track.

What They Love About Their ADHD Spouses

Spouses tell what they love about their ADHD partners, highlighting some important positive ADHD traits. Remembering the good while highlighting the effectiveness of ADHD treatment can give struggling couples something to strive for.

When Work Interferes with Love

It can be lonely when your partner is engulfed in work and has little time for you. These strategies can help you remain happy, healthy and (with a bit of effort from your partner) connected.

6 Big Relationship Busters — Are You Doing Them?

Without realizing it partners can easily fall into behaviors that undermine the health of their relationship. Ask yourself: am I engaging in any of these six relationship busters?

Pressing the ADHD 'Reset' Button

Some ways are better than others when it comes to improving focus and managing the everyday overwhelm of their ADHD. Here's one strategy - creating a "recalibration" routine.

Everybody Has ADHD! No, They Don't

People who have ADHD are confronted by media articles or other people who think that ADHD is just an excuse - a case of having too much to do "just like everyone else," or being lazy in a busy world. Research shows those naysayers are dead wrong.

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