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Hello Chris, how awful this story is. I know how obsessed you are right now, I have ADHD too. And, I've been in your same situation.

Something tells me that, if you take a hard look to your time with her, you'll find a glitch in the matrix. There always is one in this cases. I got dumped by my husband for his former gf, can you believe it, not nearly as good looking as me and not nearly as brilliant as I am. But, he loved her, not me.

I too thought he was perfect because he could understand me (and my ADHD) so well... but in hindsight I think he was so good with me because he wasn't emotionally invested with me as he should've.

So, Chris, as hard as it is, try to remember this. True love doesn't dump you, especially for an abuser. Your (ex)gf has some soul searching to do ***even if*** she gets back with you. Needing to go back to an abuser means she isn't exactly mature in her judgments, and you don't want her to come to you and devastate your life again.

I know it's hard to believe it right now, but you'll grow out of your obsession, and you'll find true love... the one that doesn't ask you to be a different person than you are, the one that doesn't violate your boundaries.

I wish you all the best!