I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now, and about six months ago he was diagnosed with ADHD and placed on an Adderall regimen. He's been reluctant to talk about it, so I've only just now gotten around to researching. But now that I'm looking into it I'm finding all kinds of horror stories about partners becoming completely uninterested after marriage ends the "hyperfocus courtship," partners having emotional or sexual affairs when they meet someone new and shiny, or partners ignoring the children. Since we're on the cusp of getting married, I'm feeling like my happiness with him thus far has a death sentence and I'm hugely panicked. I love him, but I can't face a future where he will stop loving me.
So I really want to know: Do these things only happen when ADHD people are undiagnosed/untreated? Are they inevitable? My boyfriend has had issues with hoarding, not being able to get work done, and sometimes I feel like he's fixated on other women, but these things have lessened since he's started his treatment. I need to know if I'm doomed and need to cut out now, or if there's any hope he'll be better in the future.
ADHD Marriage - Doomed?
Submitted by VolcanoPhilosopher on 07/29/2015.
Feel Like hanging up my marriage
Submitted by totally frustrated on
I have had feelings of running away from my marriage since my first born child, 26 years ago. I am exhausted and even though my husband has finally being treated with medication, he still blames me for everything and takes no responsibility for anything.It seems endless and I feel like the life has sucked out of me.I have to live a life of silence to keep the peace.I have been searching for online chat or support group for myself.
Totally Frustrated
ADHD
Submitted by c ur self on
No one can can tell you what you're boy friend will do....Because denial is the culprit that brings the hells on the mates....If someone with adhd is responsible to deal with it and never uses it as an excuse to not be responsible in life and to their wedding vows then you can navigate life together.
But it is vital for you to not think about you're feelings toward him as a person when you start deciding what you're going to be introduced to on a daily bases as his wife....
If you're a person who doesn't love a mess and your boyfriend has hoarding tendency's you will be miserable....Just look at how he handles the responsibilities in life.
Is he a faithful worker who can hold a job?
Is he responsible as a steward? Does he keep his home and yards up? Does he keep his bills paid on time? Does he take responsibility for his own actions or does it seem he is always a victim?
Does he want to support you and love you and make your life good? OR Does he need your income and strength for his survival?
If you answer these Q. honestly they will give you some incite to what it's going to be like with him....
If you get all these questions answered and you see that you need to run:) Do it!
If you see you need to run, and you don't.....Then you probably should try going over the list again but this time write how they fit your life....
Good luck with your decision...Just remember this one tip from a someone who has been through 37 years of married life...The emotional and physical attachment we have with each other doesn't even come close to telling the story of day to day living with one person for Life....So my advice is to PLEASE don't start off down a road that is a dead end to begin with...Believe what you see! Because what you see is what you get....