ADHD Men and Other women/broken comprimises
Submitted by balcox25 on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:40
At this point I can say whole heartedly that I HATE ADHD. I hate loving someone that will never get what you need them to get! I hate the blank stares and broken compromises. I hate the excuses that I can see right through. But most of all, I hate that the man I love will compromise on a big issues in our relationship and the very next week he breaks it for the 10th time! Is this normal to not be able to compromise? He knows his behavior with other women hurts me but he is constantly bringing them into our relationship. Example...we went out for the first time in 4 months to a local pub. He was sitting next to me while he was asking a married girl he hasn't seen in 6 years out for a beer. They talked and she agreed to meet him. He never told me and when I found out he tried to tell me that he planned on inviting me along. "Oh really!!!" So, because these little innocent things always seem to happen with him...we compromised that no longer will we have friends of the opposite sex. If we want to hang out in a group we each contact wives (for me) and husbands (for him) only. Well one week later he accepted a girl who he was with sexually when we were dating. It was a long time ago and he was friends with this girl before but we had just had the compromise of no more "girls that are friends" which included no more adding girls to Facebook. When I confronted him about her he said it was an accident, he did not mean to accept her, and he just decided to "leave her hanging" on Facebook. Yeah right it was an accident! I believe that like I believe all your other excuses for poor behavior. Anyway, not only does he not compromise I am starting to think he is mentally handicapped. He really does not get the simplest ideas and concepts. I was not getting sleep for 2 years. He has to wear a mask for snoring and when I say snoring I mean he will wake the dead! Its bad enough that he kept a person on the other side of the house up all night. Doors closed and TVs on. I would remind him every night to put his mask on, he would start dozing off and I would say put your mask on. Every damn night!!! He never wore it and always had an excuse. Every night! We finally broke up for it because I could not sleep in my own house. I was cranky and tired and falling asleep at work daily. I do not believe this is ADHD because I was reminding him every night! What is it about ADHD people and their lack of caring? What is it about how they make you believe they understand your hurt only to do it again the next day. Is this only ADHD or does my ex have something else? I understand that ADHD is forgetting but how do you forget one second later? How are you so dumb not to recognize that accepting a girl on Facebook, you hooked with while we were dating is not something that will make me feel good. Is he this dumb or is it ADHD to blame? Please help because if it is ADHD and he is starting meds will he get better and not treat me so poorly or is this girl-thing and not caring how I feel just because he is a complete turd! Some background...he is really kind to his mother and helps her out weekly on his own. He has had the same job for 11 years as a car body man. He never follows through unless someone holds his hands. He has a lot of female friends and just a few guy friends. He has gotten himself into trouble by talking about our relationship to anyone who will listen which in turn put a lot of people in conflict as he was airing laundry left and right which people became sick off so he has since lost a lot of his friends that are girls and in turned caused me pain because I do not like to have my private life out there with so many people I do not know. (He literally would talk to any girl who would listen! It was disturbing) I need help to decipher if this guy is a creep with ADHD or he is just misunderstood. Anyone out there with ADHD please respond as I would love to know if my ex really had a problem with not caring how I felt or is it ADHD? He wants to get back together and says he is on meds now and that he will not hurt me like he used to. (Which I have heard 100 times before). We dated 4 years and have been broken up a month and he has moved out.