Anger and abuse in ADHD & Aspergers Syndrome

When I was diagnosed last year as an adult male 51 years old with ADHD I thought at last I have an explanation for what I have been going through and inflicting on others. I dutifully took medication that turned me into a zombie but I found that work wise I was not doing well at all and stopped the meds. My behaviour in terms of frustration and anger had changed and I was less partial to meltdown with the meds.

I always thought something was missing in the puzzle and finally got diagnosed this year with Apsergers Syndrome and discovered that I also have Dyscalculia. This explains now everything to me and I feel almost delivered from this invisible hell. What does worry me though is that many of the non ADHD spouses relating their problems and experiences with their ADHD partner in these forum topics sound like they could be also dealing with someone with Aspergers Syndrome; especially when I read about the anger and abuse meltdowns, obsessing about various subjects and more so when spouses here complain of the lack of sensitivity and emotional isolation that they feel it is no wonder the spouses need therapy after all the suffering in these scenarios.

Could Dr Hallowell and Mellissa please advise their thoughts on this? I am only too happy to provide more info if needed. I would also like to say a very heartfelt thankyou to Dr Hallowell and Mellissa for all your ongoing advice and help - please keep it up!