Finally throwing in the towel
Submitted by Sueann on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:16
Those of you who have read my posts before will remember, my posts were full of things other spouses of ADDers face-no job, no help around the house, etc. I finally got a legitimate "work from home" job and found myself, within a few weeks, working 60 or more hours a week. I spent hours working away on my computer listening to him watch whatever TV shows caught his fancy-mostly off-network reruns like Ghost Whisperer, NCIS, etc. And he did nothing to clean the house or make my life function better (except he did cook). This went on over a year. He never even looked for work. His excuse was that my work monopolized the computer, so he couldn't do a job search.
Our dishwasher finally broke and I paid someone $200 to clean my kitchen because he wouldn't; it was "too overwhelming". That just got it to the point where I could let the appliance guy come in. That was a couple of months ago.
Finally, I went to stay with my daughter 90 miles away. She needed help at her office temporarily. But I went home on the weekends. When I left one Sunday, we had run out of toilet paper, and when I can back the next Saturday, there was still no toilet paper. He had a car (paid for my me) and a debit card with enough money to buy a whole warehouse full of toilet paper. For one thing, that's disgusting. For another, I have had 3 surgeries for incontinence, so it seemed to show a remarkable lack of interest in my needs.
Today, I moved my personal possessions to a storage unit and I'm going to move in with my daughter until I can find a job. I will have better luck in her city, I think. I will let him stay here as long as he can pay the rent, but without a job and with his unemployment running out, how is he supposed to do that?
I just can't do it any more. His ADD is stronger than his love for me, and stronger than me. I just can't fight it any more.