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  1. I'm confused

    for our communication problems. I tried to match my feelings up to his symptoms but it was hard while ... his symptoms bother him AT ALL... He said again, that they DO NOT bother him, he's been content ... to stop on my end and that if it did cease, he would be more content. I get that. The part I do not ...

    ebb and flow - 12/05/2010 - 20:15 - 6 comments

  2. Where we're at now...

    ADHD. I was told to stop controlling him, telling him how he should treat his symptoms, how he should ... is soo scary for me! My partner has already expressed to me that he doesn't want to do any more, ... how he applies effort with this knowledge about my feelings. All I have to say is.... eek, big changes ...

    ebb and flow - 02/26/2011 - 18:00 - 39 comments

  3. Feeling despondent concerning communication patterns

    I didn't cry, I didn't yell, I just expressed my concern about the taboo nature of this topic and ... how inadequate and guilty my husband feels and how he feels as though i'm dumping on him and that ... way ("wife, this is making me feel really bad about myself").  Well, the email caused my ...

    PoisonIvy - 06/20/2012 - 22:47 - 13 comments

  4. Relieved, Exhausted, & Hopeful

    our marriage. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD almost 10 years ago after his daughter was diagnosed ... you with ADHD describe feelings my husband has shared with me about what it's like to have ADHD ... older and my career continues to progress, I am tired of being his secretary and mother. I have ...

    JBD76 - 12/28/2020 - 10:20 - 1 comment

  5. Should people with adhd stay single for life?

    it because as far as I'm concerned if you love someone you want to make them happy.  My feelings ... a photocopier, I can't carry cups and glasses without breaking them or spilling their contents, do ... don't matter, that person's feelings do.  I have very poor coordination and sequencing abilities ...

    Cheetarah - 02/06/2011 - 11:32 - 13 comments

  6. is my adhd partner acting selfish?

    issue about my insecurities as a woman, neglecting his role in it. Now I feel that he is again trying to ... things out in order to gain some clarity. My ADHD partner wants me to join him in his home country. For ... understand his concerns about this. But somehow the way he presents everything makes me really doubt the ...

    waldewin - 11/10/2016 - 10:34 - 4 comments

  7. Respect and Personal Boundaries in ADHD Relationships

    that are most important to me personally) Let my husband express his true self without trying to change ... Communication Tips with ADHD It has been my observation that people with in ADD marriages violate each other’s ... a woman) might violate his partner’s boundaries (or personal rules, if you will) without knowledge that he ...

    MelissaOrlov - 06/30/2019 - 20:10 - 34 comments

  8. Non-Add Spouse Living Like a Mother and Losing Sense of Self

    supportive, but I really feel that my husband is hiding behind his illness. He knows he may have ADD, yet he ... I see that it is more than likely a very serious issue that has been plaguing us for years. My concern ... reminders, I ask how he is feeling and if there is anything he would like to talk about. I really want to be ...

    ispeakinprint - 04/21/2011 - 13:17 - 9 comments

  9. It finally just...clicked

    (really big) issue of contention and disconnect. Sex. This one thing has been the cause of so much pain, ... impatient when he feels his needs are not being met. He very quickly gets frustrated and moody, sometimes to ... feeling such resentment and disgust at even the thought of having sex. I spent so long blaming my husband ...

    ChaosQueen - 07/12/2012 - 18:05 - 5 comments

  10. Are You Having an Emotional Affair? Is Your Partner Having an Emotional Affair??

    Women without ADHD:  36% Men with ADHD:  43% Men without ADHD:  25% Do I Need to Worry About My Partner? ... can help the two of you negotiate the hurt and concerns you are feeling.  It is important to work this ... more of them than those without, which makes sense. It can be difficult for those with ADHD to put off ...

    MelissaOrlov - 04/28/2020 - 19:37 - 4 comments

  11. What about MY needs?

    I don't have to try to get to sleep with it on. But if I really feel the need to get to sleep earlier, ... button on my mouse and... poof, it was gone. Mineola, thank you for your post. I think it was on this ... household tasks subforum.  You were concerned about sounding narcissistic. You don't!!  You sound like ...

    Standing - 08/13/2014 - 13:21

  12. Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you:)!

    secondary to my ADHD which I have literally no clue how to solve.  Often (far more often than I am aware of, ... mode" is to immediately bring up how that issue or his proposed solutions will affect ME. :(Ugh.  He is ... response was to say I didn't want to do it, because I didn't know how to manage it, due to my ...

    ADHDMomof2 - 07/16/2018 - 23:33 - 38 comments

  13. How to "move on" after verbal attacks?

    unhappy for these reasons. So I was wondering how you guys handle the verbal abuse? Do most ADHD people ... him unless he truly wants me to. But who knows how he really feels. A lot of times I feel like ... kind of regret for hurting me. Anyway. How do you soothe yourself? How do you pick yourself back up and ...

    AliceInBraids - 03/02/2016 - 22:39 - 16 comments

  14. How to make my ADD spouse my Ally, not my Enemy

    So how do we help each other in this? (I get why some of it turned around- some disloyalty, my ... misunderstanding of his ADD behaviours, his control issues- but my husband is a good and generous husband who loves ... his kids, has tons of acquaintances, but constantly is losing friends).  How do I inspire him to make ...

    DependentOrigination - 11/30/2016 - 00:25 - 58 comments

  15. The Side Effects of Not Taking Medication

    can play out in a marriage, see my post about how both spouses can use ADHD as an excuse-  The ADHD ... It’s common to have concerns about taking medications for ADHD.  “I don’t want to be medicated every ... something that few people think about, but which is really important to consider.   First, it is my firm ...

    MelissaOrlov - 06/24/2019 - 18:51 - 23 comments

  16. verbal abuse from ADD spouse

    can and will work through.   My main concerns are his lack of control over his emotions, his lack of ... left on the countertop. He gets so angry and expresses his fustration with such utter disregard for my ... don't want to do it anymore. How can you treat someone you claim to love so much this way? I feel very ...

    jgsmom - 10/17/2009 - 08:09 - 58 comments

  17. How do I cope with the ADHD Partner's emotional instability?

    him he hurts my feelings but that makes him upset. How do you bear the situation before he gets help? ... yesterday I tried expressing my feelings and he said, "I'm not going to continue this topic, ... next day he reached out. I had told him that I was feeling as if I can't express my opinion. He ...

    SunshineState13 - 01/05/2016 - 19:32 - 2 comments

  18. anger, tears, marriage with both partners ADD/ADHD (i am new to site btw)

    I would be lying i fi said it is not hurting us. The only thing he wants to do is his video game, he was ... know what to do, I feel like his metaphorical punching bag anymore and he is wearing me down to ... forum post with a lot of typos(im typing really fast) with tears streaming wondering how to get my ...

    moki1984 - 07/27/2010 - 05:13 - 2 comments

  19. Support groups/forums for the adhd perspective?

    kind of positive content from/for the adhd person's side. For example, the majority of these ... forums and site content seems to me to be about how horrible it is to have to suffer through any kind of ... contact with an adhd person, and how abusive, angry, incompetent, selfish, childish etc. we are. ...

    fuzzylogic72 - 10/25/2010 - 12:19 - 48 comments

  20. It's over, and it didn't have to end like this.

    affirmation"."     really it it boiled down to H not wanting to do 3 and 4..... These are our issues boiled down ... him expressing love to me 2. learn how to express love to him with acts of service (finding out nice ... learn how to express love to me with "physical touch" and "words of ...

    SpaceyStacey197... - 08/06/2016 - 22:13 - 24 comments

  21. Personalizing husband's rejection

    fine, but you are not living with me if you do, he stays.  Even my son gets hurt when he is ignored, so ... Submitted by jade21 on 11/16/2015. Anger, Frustration & ADHD My husband has ADD.  Our marriage ... things have improved.  However, the core issue of my husband not wanting to be vulnerable and put himself ...

    jade21 - 11/16/2015 - 10:26 - 6 comments

  22. Overcoming Anger-- the non-ADD Spouse

    cope was to learn to express my anger without yelling.  But in order to express myself calmly, I had to ... dissolving in tears), and this brought home to him far more than my anger had how upset I was over his ... hard as he was on his.  For my part, it brought home to me how hard it is to change lifelong ...

    arwen - 07/03/2019 - 18:53 - 63 comments

  23. New here but desparate

    My husband and I see a marriage therapist as well. I am doing all the things, but am feeling very ... him more than he loves me. When I express hurt feelings because he doesn't seem to want to spend ... needs or plans with me. He doesn't express his feelings or thoughts on things. I am either guessing ...

    ADHDrsdmess - 08/18/2023 - 12:30 - 5 comments

  24. Need Help- Pregnant with ADD husband

    for it, and that's all I really want. However, most of the time if I do express my frustration, ... anymore. My husband and I have had multiple issues with his ADD in the past. I have dealt with it, accepted ... he finally admits to how he can see that his behavior makes me feel unimportant and he does apologize ...

    amlee87 - 05/07/2014 - 03:37 - 4 comments

  25. Defending false accusations-I'm not crazy!

    constantly fighting my ADHD husbands false accusations of mental illness. Beyond just yelling ... "You're crazy!" as soon as I express a concern or pain I've been caused by H's actions and ... boundaries. Wife is hurt by the action and states that she feels (insert emotion) when H does (insert action). ...

    Kansasry - 07/17/2016 - 03:30 - 16 comments

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