I just don't understand, I'm lost
Submitted by DWLSAM on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 15:29
I'm new to saying anything to anyone about what has been going on in my household. I met my partner at work, have been together now for two years.
First I find out that he has lied about his age, but I have not said that I know. I was told he is 7 yrs. younger and now I find out he is 11 yrs. younger. This lie was because on our first date, I told him I would not go out with anyone 8 or more years younger. I'm 56 and he is going to be 45. Has told me his D.L. is incorrect that he never went back to change it. I believed him for a long time. I noticed that he never opens his mail if it's from social security or his attorney. So I opened the SS and that is how I found out about his age. I've not said anything.
Then he said he had a son very late in age and when we met his son was 5, now 7 yrs old. His son one day when we were out and about said, my mommy and daddy are still married. I said, no, they are divorced and I would not go out with your daddy if he was still married to your daddy. He said his aunt told him. Well I know in the the beginning he gave her a check for, as he said child support. Then just this last Jan. he said he was taking her to court for this and that; little things. Well I thought that was odd that he kept his papers and his original divorce papers in his lap top bag at all times. He never left it in the house if he was going somewhere. I looked in his bag when we were on a trip and he was out fishing. Come to find out he was just divorced Jan. 2010 not June 2008. I dare not say anything, I've brought up the divorce date to see if he corrects me and he sticks with the 2008.
We can not talk about anything personal or discuss the future. It's gotten to where I just don't talk much.
I'm thinking that the age difference has to do with our arguing.
I've seen him put his son in the car to take him to his mom and having trouble hooking up the video player, take it and throw it out the backseat on the ground. His son look to me for what should I do. I just put my fingure to my mouth for him to not say anything. He was loud and saying things his son should not hear.
When we argue, his voice gets lower, then if I say to much, it's all about what type of bad person I am and we should not be together. Then he starts yelling. I just shut down and if I don't say anything, he just keeps on. I bought a home and put all the money up for the property. We have a lot set up for his son on the property. I think that he is staying because of his son.
We may have sex once a month or a little longer. I asked why we don't, he said he likes to wait till he really wants to have sex. When we were first together, we had sex more often, then it just stopped. Just all of a sudden. He takes pain pills, says he hurts all over. High dose and 4 or 5 times a day. Drinks his beer from the time he gets off until he goes to bed. So I'm sure this has something to do with our sex life also. Things change and it's all of a sudden, like staying up very late watching TV, then now he's in bed for 10 or 10:30. Never eats supper with his son and I. We eat around 7 - 8PM, he eats at 10 or 10:30PM. Says it makes him sleepy to eat that early.
He's great other than the no sex, not eatting together, no talking about us, fight sometimes too often.
I've been trying to figure out if I need to keep trying or leave. The age difference is worrying me, a lot.
I'd better stop and fix his son something to eat.
Thank you for listening.