The Joys of Finding Yourselves Again
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 15:52
A woman who took one of my couples courses wrote to me to give me an update on how well she and her husband are doing. Since I often have requests from readers at the site to hear about the positive changes couples can make, I thought I would share some of her words. Of particular interest to you all, I think, will be what she writes about her children - if there were ever a reason to be inspired to take chances on change, this is it!
"(We) are doing amazingly well - we sold our house more quickly than expected and have moved. We put lots of your techniques from your online class and book to work successfully while cleaning and moving 24 years of stuff - a job which would be stressful under the best of circumstances. We continue to be excited about our "new and improved" relationship.
The timing of the move in relation to your class has been great - we are doing "new things" every day, building stronger bonds and getting back to who we were so many years ago. The new environment allows us to set new patterns and jettison the old ones easily. One of my verbal cues has sort of become "how would Melissa respond to that?"..."I'm not sure Melissa would be encouraged by us right now" makes us step back and rethink where we are and what we are saying. The biggest thing your class did for us was to give us the courage to make the necessary changes - being able to step back from a bad place, let go of it by recognizing that place for what it is, and moving on to a place we both like better. One of the biggest pluses is the affirmation from our kids - their relief and how much has changed."
She finishes with the idea that "you really helped us save our marriage" which is great! She understands that she and her husband are the ones that saved their marriage (not me) and that the information they got gave them new perspectives that enable them - every day - to make better relationship choices.
The good news about this site is it is a great place to meet people who share your issues, but one of the sad parts is that those who improve things tend to move on (as they should - this is good news, but it means we don't get the benefit of hearing the good stories as frequently as they happen). So I hope her words lift your spirits.