Submitted by jennalemon on 06/10/2014.
"Once I recognized that I LIKED thinking of myself as a noble, self-sacrificing martyr, it was much easier to stop DOING it."
Can I possibly be LIKING this? Ouch. Time to change. I am sure there are better things to enjoy doing.
The martyr II
Submitted by jennalemon on
"If we place too much of our desire for happiness in the hands of someone else, it’s easy to slip into co-dependency. In trying to be and do everything that they want in the hope it’ll be reflected back to us and we’ll feel the wonderful feeling of being loved, we end up allowing disrespect to happen and in some instances normalising bad behaviour."
I must get my good self and my life back and stop obsessing about him.
Obsessing is a good way to
Submitted by redhead1017 on
Obsessing is a good way to describe what we go through. We get so engrossed in "fixing" because we care about these people. At some point you have to step back and realize that they are their own people and responsible for fixing themselves.
Freeing and terrifying at the same time.
Letting go the dream
Submitted by jennalemon on
"While I know that my very best is just outside of my comfort zone and that anything can be learned, I get this kind of sadness. There's a certain bitter in loosening your hold on what could've been. Let yourself feel that sadness of giving up on a dream you once had and then let go. It is the only way to risk and find happiness."
I am trying to let go. Because keeping on doing something the same way that is not working over and over is insanity.
Co-Dependant - How did I miss it
Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on
I am re-listening to some teachings I have on co-dependancy. I have had them for many years. I worked hard to get out of co-dependant behaviors after growing up in an alcoholic home and being a chronic people pleaser.
I am so extremely shocked to find that I had been in exactly that position with my spouse. How can a person be working for years on becoming a non-co-dependant - and be oblivious to the fact that she still is one? Argghh.
My spouse moved out of our bedroom and has been sleeping in our RV for over 10 weeks. Today he is sick. I just went up stairs to find him sleeping in our bed. I am so ticked. He cannot just try to play the poor sick person routine and move back into our bed without asking or discussing it. He didn't talk about moving out. I refuse t be treated like this.
Now I have to figure out how to calmly yet directly tell him I need to get to bed, so he has to get out.