Self-appointed Authoritarian vs over confident Narsiccist...

Traits of Narcissism...Patterns....The more I become a student of behavioral patterns in my and my wife's life the easier it gets to identify. Hopefully someday it will even get easier to endure and ignore from her... lol....And recognize in myself, before I puke it up onto her and others...If I had to label us for most of our marriage. I would say I trend toward the Narcissist...and she trends toward a Authoritarian, with sever Add to spice it up:)...Ouch...Now folks If you don't think God is able...then you would be wrong...Because we have been a nasty combination...

Why are you guy's like this? Good Question! I'm glad you asked:)...Our gene's? Our childhood? our confidence in our own ability? Our sin nature?....It wasn't like the potential, and even the reality (blind to or in denial of course) wasn't hidden inside us when we married for this tumultuous ride we've been on....It just hadn't surfaced in this monstrous revelation that only comes about in coexistence, also, because of the lives we lived and the people we had in close quarters....As for myself, I had a wife for 30 years, who was a very humble saint...Who after she passed away, my oldest daughter informed me that I was rough on at times...Who said to me; Mother always just ignored many of your controlling tendencies out of respect and love, she new you loved us and would do the right things:(...This same daughter who was like an angel most her life, when she feel into her own temptation as a 19 year old. Told me as we had a heart to heart setting up in the bed one night that the reason she didn't confide in me more was because she was scared on me:(:(:( Enough of about me, I'm still not that strong Ha Ha....

My wife? well, severe add, pregnant by a boyfriend who she loved at age 24, but had to walk away and raise her son alone because of his alcohol abuse, and irresponsibility...Pregnant again 5 years later by a guy she was dating, who also walk out on her...So from age 29 until we meet when she was 46, between her ADD, raising two kids alone, being a the main provider and a soccer mom of two wonderful boys alone. Plus all the other issues of life, well, you see!...Also most of the guy's she was pursued by wasn't the kind who looks to settle down w/ a ready made family...So more abuse, feelings of inadequacies...I remember once before we married, I had to make a doctor's appt...and I did...She approached me after she found out and said...I really wish you would let me handle this kind of stuff...She said; "I don't bring much into this marriage, but things I'm good at, I want you to let me handle"...I didn't fully understand at the time, but it eventually cleared up:(

Not a pretty picture uh? God is good!...I'm trying each day to face my demon's and give them to Jesus...Not sure, why I'm up typing this, Maybe it can speak to someone. 

I just want to say this one more thing...You may be married to a spouse with many problems, but just remember, It always takes two!

No one makes you and I stay, and many of the cases I read about on this forum is in my opinion very unhealthy, abusive and dangerous...Also just my opinion again, many should at least separate in order to gain clarity, overcome anger, and see if the abusive or unfaithful partner can and does change when their enabler isn't there anymore....Life is short....

There is healing to be had, but it want be found in my attempts to judge and make the corrections in this marriage....


"Those who experience peace in death; (dying daily to self) will experience peace in this life"....c ur self.