The trap of Mothering and enabling....

How many of us started off just wanting to love our spouses unconditionally? This is a good thing, but, I just didn't know all the different faces of Love...Nor did I know how to recognize fake spirits that showed pleasing attributes, and influenced me to say it's Love. My perception, was skewed because of my own neediness, and my own spiritual immaturity. 

 I didn't even recognize it in my own heart, so how could I beware of someone else's?....Mothering or enabling an adult is the same as starving a hungry man...Right before his payday comes we keep jumping in and cutting him off.  Right before he can receive the just reward he so desperately deserves...

Sadly mosts of us continue this cycle until he has been without nutrition for so long that we've turned him into an invalid...So his growth becomes stunted because we refused to allow him to eat...

Why did I do this? Love? Sadly yes, but, it was a fake, that seemed pleasing...It fooled me...When I thought I was saving his life, I effectively starved him...

What fooled me? My neediness?....My faulty faith in my own abilities? All the things I've blamed for our conflict?

If you walk up to the payroll table and stick your hand out to get your paycheck it is your right to do so....If your spouse walks up to the payroll table and stands on their head, then reaches up to receive there paycheck it's their right to do so....

The moral of the story?...Whatever you do, when you see this adult standing on their head, never ask why, or tell him it's the wrong way;)

True Love isn't always pleasurable...If it was Jesus wouldn't have went to the cross...

Blessings C