It has recently become very clear to both my husband and myself that my husband has ADD. He will soon be 'officially' tested, but neither of us has any doubt after the reading we've done. My main concern is the lack of empathy in our marriage (and god knows I have many concerns about his behavior but this tops the list). I don't see how any relationship can be successful at fulfilling emotional needs with the lack of empathy I have seen from my husband. We're talking jaw-dropping examples that border on mental cruelty....but which strangely don't seem to gel with who I really believe him to be.
So...from those of you further down the line than I am at dealing with ADHD in your partner....have you seen improvements in empathy levels as a result of medication and therapy? Seriously, I want the 'real' answers, not the 'make me feel better' answers.
I don't know if I can stay in a relationship where the only empathy comes from learned responses suggested by a therapist..."when your wife is in serious pain, you should look concerned"! Will medication change the way his brain functions to the point where he can truly show empathy and really feel it?