The Keys to Happiness



ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - February 14, 2013

Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

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Our culture, grounded in empirical science and the European Romantic tradition, sees material wealth and/or the perfect love as the keys to happiness.  That’s why so many relationships disintegrate over monetary arguments or the accusation “you stopped making me happy!”

- Martha Beck


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The Keys to Happiness
I know that this is a complex question for couples impacted by ADHD, but do you rely on your partner to make you happy?  If so, that’s a dangerous proposition!

So what do you do if your ADHD partner’s inconsistency makes you really UN-happy?  Here are some specific tips:
  • Constructively express what you want and need from your partner in positive terms.  Be patient, consistent and persistent in this effort
  • Start looking to yourself to see what you can do to improve your own health and happiness.  You might consider diet, exercise, sleep, new hobbies, strengthened connections, to name a few
  • Note and applaud any positive steps your partner makes.  Don’t be stingy in this effort, but don’t fake it, either

Ultimately, YOU are responsible for your own happiness.  These steps will both make you feel happier with yourself, and help you continue to press your case for what you need.

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues.  In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD.
Hope to hear from you there!
Melissa Orlov

© 2013 Melissa Orlov