Partners, Not Adversaries

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ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - December 12, 2012

Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

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“Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.”

- Zig Ziglar

 

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Partners, Not Adversaries
I want to share with you a “getting on the same side” trick.  If you have an important decision to make, but find yourselves struggling to either discuss it constructively, or agree upon a good outcome, consider creating a decision grid.  Turn a sheet of paper sideways, and create three columns.  In the left column, write the heading “Reasons to Do.”  In the middle, write “Reasons Not do Do” and in the right, put “Creative Ideas.”  Then (and this is the trick) both of you work together to fill out each column.  Start with “Reasons to Do” and put each of your ideas in the column until you can think of no more.  Then move to the other columns.  If you come up with creative ideas that fit in neither of the first two columns, but might help you solve the problem in a new way, add that idea to the third.

What you’ll find is that the act of filling out the columns together helps you become problem-solving partners rather than adversaries.  It also helps you be more empathetic with your partner’s contributions to the conversation.


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NEXT LIVE COUPLES SEMINAR STARTS ON JANUARY 7TH.  THIS COURSE IS A GREAT WAY TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND HAS HELPED MANY DO SO.  DETAILS AND REGISTRATION ARE HERE.

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues.  In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD.
 
Hope to hear from you there!
 
Melissa Orlov

© 2012 Melissa Orlov

 

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