Recent Topics

  • by: cillianred - 2 months 1 week ago

    Hi Everyone, 

    I don't expect my views to be well received. However, I feel compelled to let you know:

    • We ADHD spouses are not all bad. In fact, those of us who are treated tend to be very caring and attentive spouses.
    • We aren't perfect. But neither are you. Let's spend our energy focusing on improving our marriages. Venting on these forums is good as long as the feedback one receives can be constructively applied towards improving one's marriage.
    • If our imperfections are too much to handle, or if we're not meeting your expectations, refusing treatment/counseling, not employing the lessons we've learned in therapy or if you simply feel "done," is separation/divorce not at least up for consideration?
      • Even if children are involved, sometimes divorce isn't horrible. As a child of divorce, I truly enjoyed my parents more following their separation than when they were married.

    While ADHD can cause problems in marriage, it's not always THE problem. And if it truly is THE problem, it is not without a solution. 

  • by: ICanSeeClearlyNow - 2 months 1 week ago

    http://www.msn.com/en-ca/money/topstories/having-the-right-spouse-helps-...

    The headline to this article caught my attention and unfortunately, I read it.  Basically, it links job success to conscientious partners who do their share of chores and child care.  I have watched my success at work crumble after one kid and even more after the second.  I've basically been booted out of the position I had for several years by a married childless male.  I'm taking more work home to do after the kids go to bed and having less time to myself.  This sucks

     

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 2 months 2 weeks ago

    When H is looking for something in a drawer, closet, or anywhere, he just messes everything up!!!

  • by: notgonnalosemyself - 2 months 2 weeks ago

    I always thought the 25th anniversary would be awesome especially since I am still young at 42 years old. I told him years ago that we would have to save up for a huge party. This year I told him I didn't want a party. I don't want to pretend anymore, especially since he has hear me cry and plead for him to get help and he has not. Even when I told him he was losing me because of his self-loathing and tantrums and physically beating himself, he didn't get help or come in to comfort me while I was crying and shaking. His reason: An apology wouldn't matter and would only sound like a justification. I actually left him for one month in April of this year. I came back because it hurt to see him sulk so much. Maybe I thought this year would be different because it was almost over. Silly me. 

    Yesterday I text him as usual to say good morning and have a nice day and got no reply. He got home from work at 8:30 PM and barely said a word to me. He sat in his armchair watching tv until 1:30 AM. I was in bed by 9:30 PM. This has been years now. For some reason, I thought the day before our 25 th would be different. Why did I think that? I am usually the cheerleader and initiator but I am running on steam. I am very depressed these days and that is unlike me. Everyone calls me Sunshine. This morning I woke up as usual and he was snoring away. I left for work 30 minutes earlier than usual so that I could buy myself some breakfast. How much better it would be to feel special everyday so that on that anniversary day you would be happy to celebrate it all. Instead, there is pain and confusion and loneliness most of the time. It makes this one day feel a little forced. I can't even buy him a card because I can't say anything that he doesn't already feel and see in my sadness. Happy Endurance Anniversary day to me. I never thought 25 years would feel this way. I guess he feels the same way. 

    Ain’t Really Love- Mary J. Blige

    Everyday I'm trying to get to know ya
    But more and more you're changing up your act
    Everyday I look for ways to bring us closer
    But more and more you appear to be drawing back
    And lately when We're making love its getting weaker
    My heart don't feeling it and feeling is everything
    And I'm feeling like maybe you just don't feel it
    And I don't know how to play it
    In the past, didn't know how to say it
    But I...

    [CHORUS]
    I held my tongue too long
    I can't do it no more (I just can't do it babe)
    See how can a man be so cold
    To a woman that loves him most (I don't get it at all)
    (But if you wanna go) There's the door
    (I can't hold ya) Boy you're grown
    (You must got me confused) Ooooooo
    (I treat myself way too good)
    And a love that tears you down ain't really love

    Everyday I'm getting up and making breakfast
    And more and more you're walking in without a word
    And everyday I'm trying to ask, "Baby what's wrong?"
    And more and more you say I'm getting on your nerves
    And then you take me to the level of some bullshit
    Ya said ya never had these problems from a white chic
    You got me twisted and twisted is just not how I get with it
    You need to sit down and hear it
    Ohh...

    [CHORUS]

    I'm pouring out my heart (my heart)
    Don't just sit there while my heart is on the line
    Speak your truth (speak your truth)
    What it's worth (what it's worth)
    Not a word you say will go unheard
    Now if it's like that
    Then baby just pack your bags
    Cause I'm sick and tired of fighting
    I'm sick and tired of trying
    I had enough of waiting
    I'm not that good with playing
    I know I love you
    But I love myself too

  • by: TXGB04 - 2 months 2 weeks ago

    My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We have three amazing children. He was diagnosed with ADHD last year. Our middle child was also diagnosed with ADHD two years ago.

    Before he was diagnosed we had our issues. He loved spending time on the internet. He would look for old girlfriends or download porn. When I caught him, he would apologize and say he would never do it again, but he did. He flirts with all female co-workers and hides his phone and IPad so he doesn't have to explain his behavior. When I call him out on it he explodes. He has broken two laptops because he gets easily frustrated. He has Low Frustration Tolerance. I tell him this bothers me but he claims he forgot all these incidents. He also forgets everything and blames me for it. If I move his keys to put them on our key hooks, he gets mad. He is mad when there is clutter from our kids. Is this behavior related to ADHD or is this a deeper issue?

    He was put on Adderall but he stopped because he lost so much weight. He has very low self esteem. I've tried changing his diet, suggest exercising and getting counseling to help us with our issues. He agrees and then he fizzles out after a few weeks. I don't know how to help him see his commitments through. I have never been around someone with ADHD so I don't know how to handle these situations. Do all individuals with ADHD engage in risky behavior or is this a personal issue? I love him but I am wondering if I am going to spend the next ten years reminding him that he needs to set a better example for our son and daughters. Are there some books to help me? I don't believe in divorce so I need all the help I can helping this sometimes amazing man. 

    Thank you for letting me vent. 

  • by: notgonnalosemyself - 2 months 2 weeks ago

    Before I say anything, please know that I am a confident and non-jealous person after years of being married to my husband, Mr. Charisma and Charm. I will make this short since the story is soooo long. He is constantly hitting it off with women (children also) that have issues. He then adopts them as "little sisters" and family but has on many occasions been alone with these women to eat, on one occasion on a business trip, to movies, texting, calling, etc. I have talked to him about it and even had him replace himself and the woman with two other people we may know so he can see how it would look in his mind and I get the "we are talking about me not them" line. He seems to think he is untouchable and that he has good intentions, which I believe he does, but we should never test ourselves. I told him that I am uncomfortable with his hanging alone with these women and he said I am jealous and that nothing is going on. I believe him but I can't stand the disregard toward my feelings. Of course, when he does cede, it doesn't come without making me pay for it in the way of mopiness and malicious obedience and "fine, I won't go!". I feel I have the right to say what makes me uncomfortable and if nothing is going on, for him to include me in his plans with the person. I can't be everywhere and know everything though so I know that he will probably still talk on the phone with these women with issues since they have an emotional connection. When we first married, I was 17 and he was 22. Yeah, I know. We went to visit his friends so I could meet some of them and he let a 15 yr old girl he knew when she was little sit on his lap. I told him to get her off and he said I was being ridiculous. He is now 47 and acts the same way. In his head, he can do nothing wrong. I recently left him for a month (that was the hardest thing I ever did) and this was one of my issues yet he continues to entertain  the idea of hanging out with anyone he wants and sees nothing wrong with it and even says "hey, there was a kid with us so we were not alone". Very exhausting. What ever happened to "happy wife, happy life"? I understand perhaps he may not fall in like or love with them but what about the woman who is so impressed by his charm, humor, energy, insignhfulness and caring (things that he can show others but not me)? I find it disrespectful and also not being aware of how it looks to the public. Believe me, I would know exactly what to do if he messed up. I mean, would I miss the pain and suffering of living with a person with his issues? No. But does ADHD make you outrightly disrespect your wife's wishes time and time again and minimize how she feels? It doesn't make sense. Do I always have to adjust and correct, only for him to tell me I suffocate and nag him? He can be at a girlfriend's house with her 12 yr old child for hours catching up while I am home and in bed. What is that? Then I question him, he tells me exactly where he was and he says he was not alone with her. I don't doubt his loyalty but I question his false sense of security in himself and others. He minimizes and justifies. Am I crazy? 

  • by: JJamieson - 2 months 2 weeks ago

    One of my greatest strengths comes from my ability to be creative and think outside the box......I am eternally curious.  With that. also comes my insatiable need to learn new things.  At times....that can be to my detriment, but only when I don't think far enough ahead for my own good.  It does seem to go with the territory!  And to the point.....you can't have one without the other and this much I learned from being a student of life.  I love life and being a student within it.  That's a fancy way of saying.....I love to learn and this has never been my problem. 

    Neither has taking risks and so far......I have managed not to kill myself in the process! lol  If you think about it....letting yourself become vulnerable requires a leap of faith sometimes and I have been practiced at that art for most of my life.  It's a good skill to have but it has taken a long time to acquire it.  Making mistakes and a fear of the unknown are the two fears that I don't have.  This just comes from doing things wrong enough times and having other people tell you that and being forced to weigh what they say against the experiences themselves. Forced is a good term to use sometimes but....there is always something to learn from any situation you are in or anyone no matter how smart they are.  Sometimes the smartest people have less to teach you than the least likely person you could ever imagine that could teach you anything.  This is something that I have discovered and known for a very long time. But most of all.....the experience itself is by far the best teacher of all without question.  I've told people at times that I am a collector of skills and experience and learning how to use them has also been one of my best qualities.  As any student knows......mistakes are part of learning and you can't learn without them and it's hard to learn anything without them.  That's why I love to learn and be a student.....it forces you to make mistakes and learn from them.  I think that's so cool!!:)

      I've been told many times in more words that I have more "balls than brains"....but I don't see it that way.  I've also been told that I am strong and brave and I don't see it that way either.  What I see is that learning new things is just more important than not having the experience in order weigh what other people tell me against what I've learned to be able to make my own decisions just so I can survive and know what I'm doing. How else can you know?  And others I said I'm just crazy but .....I'm defiantly not crazy! I'd say that's just being smart....or is it?  Maybe wise is a better term but most of the time.....I don't feel that wise either.  Maybe I should rethink these things?  Another delay in processing I guess?:)

    What I do think right now in the moment.....is that this forum is a good place to learn new things for anyone who has ADHD and I am thankful for the teachers here that I have helped me learn more about myself, than I have learned a such a short period of time.  It took a while to figure out the process, but it was what I asked for and without knowing it at the time....I was being heard. Be careful what you ask for right? But in this case.....I wasn't wrong.   Really, that's all I needed in the first place and it was lovingly given to me even though I didn't feel it for quite some time.  I may be a littles slow at times....but slow doesn't mean you don't have the ability to learn.  No matter what anyone says to me on the contrary......believing in myself has always been one of my best qualities.....it matters less how long it takes, but just that you get there.  A good notion to follow coming from the word or the quasi wise! lol

    Yeah....Okay,   more balls than brains does fits pretty well too.  I have to remind myself of that occasionally in my own thinking from time to time to stay out of trouble!! lol

    Just another delay in processing I guess........I can live with that if you can?  And thank your for listening and putting up with me. I apologize for the inconvenience...... I can be a real pain in the ass at times but that's not a bad thing really......just a little stubborn.

    But...on occasion within those rare days....... I do have my moments with a few good things to say too........

    It takes a village to make a villager:)  Thanks again for listening.

     

    J

  • by: ADHDpilgrim - 2 months 2 weeks ago

    I'm new to the forum. I found out I had ADD minus hyperactivity with Acute Anxiety Disorder a year-and-a-half ago. My wife and I have been married for more than 13 years, and most of them have been trying to say the least. We have three daughters and have somehow managed to make it work. I've worked in a field that often lends itself to moving from one place to another, though my ADD diagnosis seems to make all of our moves make a little more sense. But I have also had my shares of job losses, layoffs. It has taken a toll in my intimacy. Wife feels neglected and "unseen." She feels she constantly has to repeat herself. And the truth is, I ADORE my wife! It's true, I forget to do things all the time. EVEN WITH A TON OF REMINDERS ON MY PHONE. I make lists for EVERYTHING and then FORGET TO LOOK AT THEM. She knows I can't help some of it, but she thinks I should have made more progress in the last year and a half than I have.

    I have gone to counseling - went for over a year - but stopped when I kept forgetting appointments. I couldn't keep doing that to my counselor. And other than that, I haven't been treated much. I've tried to get in the habit of meditation and I try to get out many times a week and get physical exercise.

    But she remains frustrated because I have an intense fear of conflict. As a result, I tend to avoid meetings with my boss, tend to avoid any arguments in general. She says I let people push me around. And maybe I do. I try to remember to do things and have one or two successful days each week where I make some forward progress with my life. I do take Lexapro for my anxiety. But I forget a lot. I've never been able to save money much and our credit has taken a beating through the years. Once a month, she will have all she can take of my forgetfulness or distractability and threaten to take the kids and leave, claiming I don't love her enough to change. 

    And today was a rough day. She had wanted me to call in sick from my job - but I had recently gotten in trouble for too many sick days - and when I didn't, she taunted me and yelled at me for being a pushover. 

    No matter what I say or do, I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. Tonight, she stormed out saying she didn't want anything else to do with me. 

    This is a cycle, and I truly am trying to change. I know I have a long way to go but I'm trying to make progress. I love my wife and my children, but I will never be good enough for her to respect me as a person. I've not been perfect, and there have been times I've TRULY messed up. I've always been faithful to her and as far as I know, she has been to me. But I get scared. I truly don't know what to do. We've moved so much and all I want is to finally STAY in one place and make some friends. It is truly lonely.

    How do I continue to manage and finally break this cycle of her feeling like she wants a divorce once a month? I'm afraid one day she might actually go through with it. 

    Truly trying to become the man she needs me to be.

  • by: JJamieson - 2 months 2 weeks ago

    I love animals and always have.  Since I don't have children....I spend more time observing them more than most people I think.  I don't see animals as a replacement for children, but I really think they are a gift to have around me because of what I learn from them.  They are always present, aware of their surroundings and even prescient if you understand this about them. I own two cats and two dogs currently which is such a great mix at times and can be very entertaining to watch.  I've also come to learn a great deal in the way they communicate with each other especially the differences in the two species in the way the miscommunications between the two.  This has been really telling for me since I know both of their languages which are primarily...non verbal even though I know the sounds that they make and what those sounds mean to them.  Intuitively speaking is where all the trouble begins.....and I mean this literally! 

    It occurred to me the other day that many of the miscommunications between my wife and I could be seen the same way, both gender and ADHD.  I thought it might be useful to share some of these correlations here because I think there is really something to learn from this.  I've mentioned before that I swear I was a dog in a previous life since other people have nicked named me "Dog Whisperer" as a joke because dogs do respond to me seemingly....more than most.  I thought about this because for me....dogs are simple to understand.  Cats on the other hand are more mysterious to me since their behavior itself is curious more than predictable?  I thought about this one too.....I'm very curious myself and it's one of my strongest (and at times weakest) qualities.  Cat's see something that interests them and they go from place to place with no particular pattern and are more random in their behavior. A just kind of prowl around and see what new and don't like to be couped up too long.  Always exploring, always looking for whatever.  It does appear this way as I watch my Cats thinking..... this sound like me!  The Chuck Berry song.... "No Particular Place to Go" is playing in my ears right now."  Life is an adventure!

    Dogs on the other hand are pretty darn predictable and easy to read. They are not so random and you can pretty much tell what they are thinking at all times......"Food, Peeing, Food, Sleeping. Food, Pooping, Food, Playing, Food, Affection, Food, Head Out Car Window, Food, Eating Grass, Food, Throwing up Grass, and more Food.....in that order. That pretty much covers it.  If you can understand this, you can understand how dogs think.  I can see a lot of myself in Dogs behavior too (aside from eating grass and throwing it back up... *water goes along with food of course:)

    But here's the point to this.  The non verbal communication between dogs and cats are extreme opposites to one another.....

     If dogs ears are back....they are submitting too you either for affection or capitulation in a fight.   When cats ears are back.....trouble is about to happen and a fight is immanent out of fear or retaliation.  A miscommunication between the two.

    When dogs gets down on their front fore arms.....they initiating play.  When a cat does this, they are either hunting, stalking or about to fight.  A clear miscommunication!

    Staring directly into a dogs eyes while walking towards them is a challenge and put them into a defensive posture with their ears up and ready for attack.  Cats on the other hand have their ears up and walk directly up to you and stare straight at you if they are just curious?  An even worse miscommunication!

    Dogs sniff butts to tell what gender another dog is when they first meet.  Cats are just not down with butt sniffing period!....this is a guaranteed fight reaction and offense for a Cat!

    Dogs love Kitty- Rocca (cat litter encrusted cat poop).  Cats .....(only with there young) would ever eat poop and certainly not Dog poop!

    Cats are stingy and bury their poop and leave no trace so no one can find it.  Dogs are much more generous with their poop and leave it in your next door neighbors yard as a gift as much as possible.

    Interestingly.....when either one sees something running away it means....time to chase after it?  This indicates intuitively that it is possibly something to eat? (food)  This seems to be the only thing that they both respond to in the same way.

    and back to the point of doing this here?  Because men and women neglect to interpret cues in the opposite sex that are different than themselves usually as a negative the same as dogs and cats. I think this is primitive thinking.....actually, primitive non-thinking or more just reacting intuitively instead of learning to understand what these difference mean?

    The same goes with ADHD symptoms.  If you can't or won't learn to interpret the actual meaning of the symptoms and their behaviors and take offense or personalize these differences as a negative to you. These difference will always be viewed as something to "Tolerate" instead of just "Accepting" them for what they are.  The same as dogs and cats.  It's not difficult to see these difference and even understand them if you are a third party watching them....but if it's you directly involved in the behavior itself which causes you to flinch or react.....it will always have to be tolerated as a means to be around it.

    Another way to word this would be.....things that you have to tolerate are things that you do not like.

    Intuitively speaking for myself.....I can read when people are tolerating me even if they don't say it by their non verbal communication....even when I'm not cognizant of this in the fore front of my thinking.  I can feel it non the less.  I have pretty highly tuned senses and feel people energy believe this or not.  It comes through like a bull horn announcing......"I DON"T LIKE YOU!"  Even if the person I am with clearly does for the most part.  At the same time.....I can't stop the feeling but in this case....it is happening in the moment. 

    I have no delay in processing in my senses to the point of being almost prescient at times......getting a bad feeling that senses negatively almost before it happens.  An ominous sense of forbidding is the only way to describe it?  Maybe that's why I can read animals so well since.....I definitely can feel there energy that goes along with reading their physical reactions.

    I'd say I do this without thinking.....but have to make sure I look at peoples faces to read their facial expression which I don't do all the time when I speak to people.  Many times, I avert my gaze from people's faces because it distracts me and makes it more difficult to process what they are saying which takes more effort the more information ( visual ones ) I have to process.

    More than anything .... I sense more than look for visual cues but, I have learned to focus on people eyes and faces more so I can pick up these cues which are easy for me to read if I make the effort just to do it.  This is one difference that I see in the way I connect with people than others I have experienced....more by their energy and less by other non verbal cues.  I have also begun to really notice how much my wife's energy is really at the source for many of our misunderstandings.  Because she tends to personalize everything first it seems.....all I feel is the energy she is emitting and it's very difficult to focus on the words she is saying.

    At times, it's like being hosed from a high pressure fire hydrant  blasting into my face with a stream of negative energy.  Where I will talk about my feelings and share with her of my experience and what caused the feelings ( relating the details and facts with her) She wants to give her's to me!  I don't want hers or anyone else feelings (I have my own thank you) but I want to hear about them and talk about them with her?  I have my feelings and she has hers.  Two separate people each with their own.  On top of this.....I don't want to give my feelings to anyone else either.  They're mine and belong to me.  I use them to navigate my emotions and can't do without them?  If she is upset, I want to hear about it and I can connect with that and be empathetic, sympathetic...whatever, as needed.  I do not want to share her bad mojo .  If I'm feeling good, the last thing I want is to feel bad and take on someone else bad feelings which feels like being used as a toilet......used is the perfect word.  If that makes her feel good when she does this, it is at my expense.  She feels good afterwards.....I feel bad.  Thanks a lot!  If I were ready to do something that she wants before she approaches me by being hosed in the face with sticky negative ju ju......I'm unlikely to want to do that after this happens.  More likely.......to go take a shower instead!  The more voo doo that gets on me....the more I want to get it off and for her to stop hosing me down.  Eventually I start to drown in the stuff and suffocate....this is closer to reality in feeling than just a metaphor.  Panic sets in and with that..... the feeling of impending doom switches to my survival response anger as if being attacked and killed.  My response and anger at this point is the same as if I was being attacked by an assailment with a rope around my neck who is trying to strangle me.  At this point.....you will do anything and everything you can to stay alive just like anyone else would in this situation.  What I'm saying is real....this is not a description of what it feels like but describing the actual experience when this happens to me.  It is the same panic experience as if you are actually drowning and dying.  No joke!  That's how bad it can get in the worst moments of this experience.  And you wonder why we are avoidant?  Wouldn't you be?  Who wants to risk that again!  At the end of this exchange....she just gave me her emotions which only caused this effect in me.....and I just gave them back to her in the form in which I received them.   If this is sharing....it's not a pleasant exchange! These are the moments when I turn and walk away to prevent the kind of anger that I came to this forum to try and figure out.  As you can see......mission accomplished. 

    In my mind.....this is the same difference.... as it is between Cats and Dogs.

      I can't read minds of course....but I can sense  these primitive feelings  in other people and interpret them intuitively even if there words are telling me something different.  Tolerating says.....I don't like you to me and it's hard to separate this message when I'm feeling this from them.

    Who would ever feel good about being tolerated?  Things are tolerated not people.  Tolerance is not to be confused here with being tolerated.  those are two entirely different things.

     

    J

  • by: dlev878 - 2 months 2 weeks ago

    I am new to this forum but thought I would ask for some advice from all of you relating to ADHD.

     

    My partner is ADHD, we have a happy house, similar life goals, similar careers, good friend base, and apparently have crossed bridges that he has never crossed with anyone else. He has previously dated girls and ended things with them after 2 months moving on to the next one. He discussed this with me at length and was adamant that with me we have broken through it. He discussed the future with me, marriage, children, careers, and life. I felt truly special.

     

    As soon as it came to him understanding issues when life got tough, e.g. my grandfather dying, it dawned on me that he is only good at focusing on his issues. He is very self-centered. Whilst I was dealing with that he went away to a wedding and cheated on me with another girl and spent a few days with her. He rang me to tell me what a horrible person I was to try justify his cheating and then dropped the bomb that he had done it. Not only was I dealing with a family member dying but now his infidelity which came unexpectedly as a few days earlier he was telling me how happy he was, how lucky he was to have me etc. His impulsivity and drinking led to him going astray.

     

    He came home and I said that I was not throwing in the towel and we can work through this. He said he wanted to as well. He then spent two weeks only being concerned with his feelings, there was absolutely nothing done to rectify his mistakes and to make me feel better. Again very odd behaviour. He packed up his belongings to leave a few times and I had to stop him and ask him what he was really doing as it was so out of character. One doesnt switch their feelings in a day and he admitted that he feels as if though he is self-destructing.

     

    He went from mood to mood loving me one minute, being unsure the next. We planned a holiday to stay with his family and I decided that when we would return home I would give him space and I asked him to go stay with family for awhile because I could not handle the coldness which I was being presented with after my self-esteem took a shattering. He kept saying it is because he didnt understand himself or love himself for what he did etc. Eventually  I began to see it was all a giant facade. I believe he wants others to love him and is so desperate to get attention that he will do whatever it takes. Even hurting me in the process and having no empathy. He came home and told me all the details of their little affair and how she told him to leave me and he ran with it. He then told me shes not really interesting, he doesnt know why he did it, and that it would only last a few months the way every single other relationship has.

    After this he spent 2 days pouring time and energy into me in terms of being affectionate, telling me he loved me etc. We would be cuddled up watching movies and he would thank me for not leaving him or giving up on him. I noticed he was disappearing to the toilet every once in awhile with his laptop and he spent 40 minutes in there at a time. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was planning something special for me. I knew this wasnt right so when I could check I did and found that he was sitting in the toilet downloading porn and stashing it in secret folders on his computer. I didnt understand as I was still having sex with him, never had an issue with porn, we have similar tastes, and the porn kept affecting our sex life as he would get hung up and obsessive over it and then could not focus on me - struggling to keep attention. To keep disappearing claiming he had a bad stomach and was doing something special for me was really hurtful. This was the final straw for me. He is moving out tomorrow.

     

    Has anyone else had a partner that completely went off the rails out of the blue? A partner who cheated, couldnt keep attention or relationships going? I am at a wits end as to what to do as I have tried talking, understanding, being there for him. I am truly in love with this guy despite all of this and havent really focused on the fact that he is a bad human being. We were truly happy prior to all of this in terms of everything working well and he expressed his happiness everyday. For some reason he is doing all that he can to destroy us and to destroy me. He has never made an attempt to help me in all of his.

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