Communication Tips with ADHD

Here is a question of mine that I'd like to toss out there for some feedback. The question is how do you get your ADD spouse to do something you really need done without making them feel inferior, less, defensive and/or unmotivated? We all know that a person with ADD is more likely to accomplish tasks/goals if they feel motivated to do so. I've also learned from this site as well as other research that very often if a person with ADD feels nagged he/she will "shut down" and a domino effect occurs resulting in no follow through and anger and resentment on both sides. My sister-in-law shared with me that she communicates with her ADD husband in a way that makes him want to do what she needs him to do. How does she do this? How do all of you do this? Can you give examples? (Please understand that I am not referring to manipulation as this is cruel and selfish. My question is a tricky topic to try to explain while keeping brief on a blog. Rather, I am trying to get at the core of how you communicate with a person with ADD so that they feel motivated to do what you need done - "need" being reasonable and fair requests.)

My husband has ADD, diagnosed since childhood, and we have been married almost 7 years. I am perpetually frustrated with his memory and am trying to understand if and how and to what extent ADD effects memory. I am at such a loss for words when it comes to explaining the problems we have with his memory that all I can do is provide some examples. We have been living with my parents for almost 2 years now.

When you hear the term “brainwave entrainment” you may have several thoughts. First, what is a brainwave exactly? You’ve probably heard the term a million times, but do you really know what it is? Secondly, how do you train brainwaves? And finally, how can this help ADHD? These types of questions are very typical and completely normal. So you don’t have to worry, you’re not alone in wanting answers to these questions.

Greetings,

I have been dating a 45 year old, never married (was engaged) man that is a really great guy. We were together about 2 months. We have known each other for 8 or so months before dating. We live about an hour away from each other. I suspected he had ADD and was going to talk to him about it but our communitcations abruptly became almost completely stopped. He has some medication at my house and I found that he take Staterra which I understand is for ADD.

I am completely exasperated. My ADD husband and I go to court in a few days. He is in contempt of our custody agreement. His ADD is all over the missteps. Failed to communicate, missed objectives, lies, and hostility. You ADD it, he did it.

Add came into my life last week. I am from europe, currently studying in the US. After my procrastinating became
worse, I was diagnosed with Add. With adderall, my concentration became a bit better. Until Friday. My wife, a continent away, had one of her usual depression/Panic attack combos until sunday. The cause was her chaotic way of thinking in her Job. She nearly got fired, again.