I had a quick lesson yesterday in just how easy it is to fall back into old patterns when you are working to overcome anger and resentment. But my day was also a reminder about what it takes to keep those emotions under control, so I thought I would share it with you.
"So much good advice but how do I get my husband to read with me or even try?
I am so alone and I honestly don't know where to turn. I can't leave due to finances and no where to go. I don't know if it would be right to call an abuse hotline, because he is just verbally abusive.
Learning more about the ADD mind is helping a little. Just no where to turn."
First, you are not alone! There are many, many people out there who are in the same situation that you are in – feeling isolated in a relationship affected by ADHD, feeling as if they somehow didn’t get what they had bargained for in their marriage – that it all has been an ugly surprise.
To those struggling in a marriage that may be affected by ADHD, this may sound counterintuitive: Determining whether or not a spouse has ADHD is a very good thing. In fact, there is no negative side at all. I broach this subject because a number of people have written comments suggesting that they believe that their spouse has ADHD, yet he is resisting getting a diagnosis (I use “he” here for simplicity – it could just as easily be “she”.)
Those who wish to get a broader introduction to Steven Stosny's knowledge about anger can go to his website (at the link in this sentence). While the purpose of the website is to promote his courses, he writes well about the effect of anger on health and anger at children, among other things.