How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship


Anger is not necessarily ‘bad’ – we all get angry sometimes, and when there is intermittent, healthy anger in a relationship it’s just a signal that something specific needs attending to.  But many ADHD relationships are marred by both chronic and episodic bursts of anger and rage that are painful to partners and damaging to their connections.  While some of this anger is physiological and related to ADHD impulsivity, most of it has other origins.

This 8-week tele-seminar will help couples delve deeply into strategies known to help couples impacted by ADHD lessen the anger in their relationship.  It is a working course, with emphasis on skill-building and implementation.

You’ll learn about:

  • Healthy vs. unhealthy anger
  • ADHD and anger
  • Treatments that help reduce anger
  • Patterns that lead to anger
  • Your anger style and anger paradigm
  • Emotional self-regulation
  • The role of forgiveness in addressing anger
  • Strategies and tools that help lessen anger
  • Improving your communication techniques around difficult topics
  • Conflict Intimacy skill building

Agenda and dates:

This seminar will be given live ONCE and then will be turned into a self-study seminar.  The dates for the live seminar are:

Monday, February 26, 2018, Session 1:  Healthy v. unhealthy anger; the physiology of anger and ADHD; why each partner is angry
Monday, March 5, Session 2:  Blame, resentment and hate; forgiveness; anger as a target symptom; treatments for anger
THURSDAY, March 15, Session 3:  Patterns that lead to anger; identifying and understanding your specific anger style; chronic anger
Monday, March 19, Session 4:  Identifying the anger areas in your own relationship – what’s underneath
Monday, March 26, Session 5:  7 communication tools to lessen anger; lifestyle choices to lessen anger
Monday, April 2, Session 6:  Conflict intimacy skills; how to build and keep a non-defensive listening stance; non-aggressive speaking skill building
THURSDAY, April 5: dedicated Q&A session:  An hour of open Q&A for class participants with Melissa Orlov
TUESDAY, April 10, Session 7:  More on conflict intimacy:  curiosity as a tool to calm your relationship
Monday, April 16, Session 8:  Uncovering your anger paradigm; how to address it; creating your anger plan; what next?

These dates are subject to change.


Melissa Orlov has been teaching (and constantly improving) this seminar since 2010.  She is the author of two award-winning books on the topic of ADHD and relationships, and is dedicated to helping couples impacted by ADHD learn how to thrive.  She is a popular instructor, giving talks and seminars for couples and therapists around the world.  

Melissa is one of the foremost authorities on this topic, and is known for her practical approach - providing both insight from her many years of experience and specific strategies that work.  She wants you to focus on what works.  With this seminar she has surprised many couples who had lost hope...but then learned specific skills they needed to improve their lives together.

At this site you can find many resources developed by Melissa and her team and she hopes you will explore.  If you want more details about Melissa, go to the About page.

Who should take this seminar?

Though not required, it is highly recommended that couples complete The ADHD Effect on Marriage In-Depth before taking this seminar so that you better understand the dynamics of ADHD-impacted relationships.  This will allow you to focus on anger interactions with a solid knowledge about the underpinnings of the challenges you face.  

Both partners should take this seminar:

  • ‘mixed’ couples – one partner with and one partner without ADHD
  • dual-ADHD couples
  • therapists and counselors

Pricing & refund policy

$279 per couple includes:

  • 8 sessions of 60 minutes each, mixing lecture and discussion, given by conference call
  • 1 additional session dedicated completely to Q&A with Melissa Orlov
  • pre-seminar review of basics from the ADHD Effect In-Depth seminar
  • homework and some readings*
  • presentation materials (sent out ahead of call)
  • all course materials, including lecture recordings, are yours to keep

Full, 100% refunds are offered up to the third session

*There are two textbooks for this course:  The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD by Melissa Orlov & Nancie Kohlenberger, and Letting Go of Anger by Ronald and Patricia Potter-Efron.  These are not included in the price of the seminar.  The calling number is not toll-free, though can be connected to by computer by most.

Logistics:  How the seminar works

Sessions are given by conference call, which can be accessed by phone or computer, anywhere in the world (different locations for each of you is fine)

All sessions are given live starting at 8:30pm eastern (New York, U.S.) time, ending at or before 9:45pm

For those overseas or with conflicts – it’s easy to take the seminar by only listening to the recordings and submitting your questions via email.  You will miss participating in some of the in-class discussion

International couples and those with conflicts

Couples who live in a time zone that does not mesh well with the 8:30pm eastern (New York) start time of the live calls can still register for this course.  You will be provided with recordings of each live session the day after it occurs.  Unlike in the ADHD Effect In-Depth seminar, there will be some in-class discussion that you will hear but not be able to participate in, since you aren't connected live.


(The class is now full and registration is closed.  If you wish to be notified when it is next given, please contact Melissa)

The live session that starts Feb 26 is limited to 25 couples who can participate live for most of the sessions and who are willing to provide feedback at the end of the course for seminar development purposes.