a while ago I posted something here about when to divorce my husband who has ADHD. I got some feedback which was helpful. I have decided to go into counseling myself and even the therapist saw the amount of anger and resentment as a key point. However for me what was driving behing alot of the anger and resentment was a lot of anxiety. I never know what to expect day to day living with someone like this. I am now on an anti-anxiety medication. I walk...I do yoga...
While my husband has ADD… doesn’t lose things, is helpful with chores etc., nice guy, just he struggles mostly with processing of information and gets overwhelmed and cannot plan things well or move forward. He is going to CHADD meetings and finally “seeing the light”, because he has finally identified with someone who understands his struggles etc….I feel blessed we have found some direction and answers to stop our madness.. BUT……
First of all, I want to say thank you to Dr. Hallowell and Melissa Orlov for such an incrediby helpful site.
I am an ADHD spouse. I am 39 and have been married to my wife for 15 years. I was diagnosed with very mild Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at the age of 37 and then at 38 my therapist suggested I may have NLD instead. Bottom line: Both I and my doctors believe that I am somewhere on the "high end" of the autism spectrum and until about 5 months ago, all of my treatments and coping strategies focused on that.
I am not done with the relationship. I'm done with life. I am a ADD spouse. Until I read this column I had no idea that I caused so much pain in the life of others around me. My entire marriage I have tried to please my wife. I do not go out with friends, I devote my entire non working life to her. I have distanced myself from my narcissistic mother, left my business partners due to my hyperfocus at work, so I could spend more time with my spouse. I have tried to change my sex life, to accomodate her needs. I have tried to put the family first in all my life. I am utterly unsucessf
My ADD husband and I separated at the end of April. I just couldn't take it any more after 10 years (half of which he hasn't worked). In December, I had learned he had been posting on sexual forums, even including his photo (face). I thought he would never cheat on me, but there it was. I was very specific about what I needed from him to stay in the marriage after that and, when the deadline rolled about and he had done none of the work, I had to ask him to leave.
I am in a relationship with a partner who I have known for almost 20 years and recently (4 years ago) we decided to become romantically involved. We've been living together for a little over a year and it's been a difficult transition for both of us.
I'm reading "Living with ADD When You're Not the One Who Has It". One statement hit me square between the eyes...."Some people with attention deficit disorder tend to seek stimulation in the form of conflict". I know that there are just times when my husband has approached me to "pick a fight".....no reason. Now I see that he was looking for a stimulus. After many years of fighting back, I began to see that he just wanted to fight and tried my best to not take the bait. That's hard because he knows all of my "hot buttons" and is a very good manipulator. I guess he's learned that he c
Background: Relationship for 2.5 yrs. Lots in common and we were together or else email and talking on the phone. We had a strong attraction to each other. We were eachothers support. He started his own green company that keeps him stressed literally 24/7. His job is his life. Diagnosed with ADD a year ago. Takes Ritalin. He has read books like Driven to Distraction, but unfortunately, during our relationship, we never discussed how this Diagnosis impacts us.
I'm new here and going through the same issues many of you are currently or have previously.
My husband and I have been married 5 years. The relationship was rocky and drama-filled from day 1. He was verbally abusive and at times physically threatening (he never hit me, but broke things). He cheated on me repeatedly. He used drugs and drank too much. He was addicted to pornography. He has been marginally employed or unemployed for the entire time we've been together, despite us being in dire financial straits at times.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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