Communication Tips with ADHD

Chances are, you’ve heard that tone of voice.  The one that sounds demeaning to you…aggressive…just short of an insult and a put down…the tone that puts your teeth on edge.

Chances are also good that you’ve not only heard it, but used it yourself…and your partner hates it.

Your mindset can make all the difference when you are in a relationship with an ADHD partner.

I want to share a note from the spouse of an ADHD partner who, after discovering ADHD was a factor in his crumbling marriage, decided to try to be more open to his wife's 'way of being' and experiences.  I was moved by the shift in his attitude:

ADHD, like so many things that people go through, exists on a continuum from more intense to less intense, and in addition, there are different types.  There are those who are Inattentive (and may appear to be spacey), and those who are hyperactive/ impulsive, and those who are both at the same time.  No two individuals with ADHD show up the same way.

Being in an ADHD-impacted relationship can feel lonely, so sharing information and getting support from loved ones and close friends can really help the healing process.  But how to broach the subject?

All of us have bad days sometimes…even bad months or longer.  I’m having one right now that has to do with my negative feelings about the impact of my husband’s job in our lives.  The problem is, my responses are making things worse.  As always, you can learn from my mistakes - in this case about how NOT to approach your partner.

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