Instructions for Using this Site

Welcome to our ADHD and Marriage blog and forum!

Welcome!  We hope that you find this site useful and interesting and we encourage your active involvement.

ADHD affects marriages in unexpected ways, with big issues often developing around the misinterpretation of ADHD symptoms, particularly if the ADHD has gone undiagnosed for many years.  The object of this site, and of the book that I am writing, is to help people identify common patterns and misinterpretations that are the result of ADHD.  Once you can identify these things, you can start to better understand how to combat them.

It's critical that the person with the ADHD understand how the ADHD impacts his or her relationship partner, so that he or she can find the impetus to start to affect positive change around symptoms.  However, it is also critical that the non-ADD spouse understand his or her role, as well.  It is too easy to place blame on just ADHD symptoms or the ADHD spouse, when in fact both partners are almost always complicit (often in unexpected ways).

We hope that you find this site a useful resource for thinking through some of your own issues and creating positive change in your life.  We also urge you to become an active member of this community.  We ask only that you be respectful of all of the varied viewpoints represented.

Please read this before you post:
Much of what is written on this blog is of a personal nature due to the blog’s topic. We ask that you follow some basic rules:

  • Please show compassion for those about whom you are writing (including yourself). This is a public forum and anyone might read it.
  • Please do not use full names, including in your own.
  • Please do not post snail mail or email addresses in the body of a comment. Email addresses that you give as part of the sign-in procedure are for anti-spam purposes, and will never show up in the public forum.
  • Remember that anything you write might be picked up and used in a book (without attribution).  Posting here is giving us permission to use your posts.
  • This site is not meant to replace medical attention.

Please register and subsequently log in
Register as a user of the site here.  Your registration is not complete until you click the link in the email we send you.  This is an anti-spam precaution.  We reserve the right to unpublish any comment we believe will be injurious to another person.  You may use either your username OR your email address to login.  Do NOT use your email address as your username, as your username will appear on all your posts and comments.

Where to start
There is a lot here, so we suggest you start with the blog posts.  Some of the "favorites" are under "Melissa's Favorite Posts" in the top right corner, or you can explore by area of concern in the "categories" area.  The site also has a forum where people with concerns share them.  Many find it reassuring that others share their issues but please understand that the forum is biased by the fact that those who have found this (unadvertised) site often seek it out because their marriage is in deep trouble.  Not all ADHD marriages are in trouble!

Other ways to keep up with the site

  • once a week marriage tips (sign up on home page)
  • feeds (sign up on home page)
  • email notification when someone responds to a post you wrote (turn on or off when you post)

 

We are writing a book on this topic.
A few of the comments and questions that are posted on this blog may find their way into that book but will never be linked with identifying information.  Posting on this site includes giving us permission to use your post anonymously.

Privacy and site security
We do not sell your emails or use your email for any other purspose other than that for which you have given us explicit permission.  We have gone to great lengths to make the site very secure, and continue to go to great lengths to keep the flood of comment SPAM from impacting your experience - you may notice small annoyances, where we verify the information you provide is accurate.

Finally, while you will find lots of advice here, this site is not meant to replace medical attention or counseling.

Problems with the site's operations
We have spent considerable effort to make this site useful, functional and to make it perform well under high traffic loads.  However, if you are having technical difficulties with the site (cannot register, need to unpublish a comment or post, would like to suggest some functionality or other improvements, etc), please contact us via this form.