Melissa's Favorite Posts

Want to read some love letters?  I like to be even handed, so I asked the ADHD spouses in my last couples course to tell me what they love about their non-ADHD spouse.  Here is what some said: >>> Read more >>>

One of the things I love about my own spouse is his empathy, generosity and warmth.  Is this related to his ADHD?  I’m not sure, though I do observe that if they don’t have specific anger issues, many of ADHD spouses I work with have very generous spirits.  Sometimes they act on that generosity in a way that warms others…sometimes they don’t…which makes them pretty much like the non-ADHD around us.  Regardless, generosity of spirit, if you spouse possesses it, is something to celebrate.  Here is “what I love about my ADHD spouse >>> Read more >>>

As part of ADHD Awareness Week I’m writing a daily series about what partners say they love about their spouse with ADHD.  These are collected from participants in my current couples class, from those at this site, and from my own experience.  I hope you’ll join the conversation, or at least spend some time this week showing appreciation for the things you enjoy.  (We spend too much time thinking about the things we don’t enjoy!)  So, here’s “love letter” #1… >>> Read more >>>

There has been a lot of talk recently about executive function issues and ADHD. What are "executive functions" and how are they related to ADHD?

Executive functions help you exhibit control over your actions so that you can get to a specific goal you wish to achieve. That can be something lofty and long-term, such as "graduate from college" or something small and immediate like "make my lunch." There are five areas of executive functioning that are impacted when you have ADHD. Some find extreme weakness in one area, such as planning, and less in another, such as verbal working memory.

  >>> Read more >>>

Control issues create one of the most common Catch-22s of ADHD-impacted marriages.  Take on what your partner isn’t doing and you are overwhelmed with what you have to do and resentful of the burden.  Don’t take on what your partner isn’t doing and you are overwhelmed by what isn’t getting done and resentful your partner isn’t pitching in more.  So how do you stop trying to control your partner, get his or her buy-in, and get out of this lose/lose situation? >>> Read more >>>

I was giving a talk last night outside Boston and, once again, was asked “How do I get my spouse to stop denying that ADHD is a factor in our marriage?”  Here are some specific suggestions for anyone who is struggling with this. >>> Read more >>>

Dr. Hallowell and Melissa Orlov were interviewed on Today on August 6th about how ADHD can impact marriage (note - picture on video is not Melissa and Ned:-)

For clarification: the media "shorthands" what I do as "ADHD researcher" but I am not a medical researcher.  I am a marriage consultant and author and have done a lot of research into the topic of ADHD and marriage, including qualitative market research.