Blogs

The New York Times recently published an article about the importance of having conversations about how money is being spent before you're in an emotional situation.  This only makes sense to me - it's just another version of "coordinate, don't dictate" that comes with partnership rather than the parent/child version of dictating or delegating.  Conversations around money, if done right, can also be a time to dream a little bit, especially if you're talking about travel, vacation or retirement.  Even if you are fighting, can you find common ground in shared dreams of a possible future together?  Stephanie Sarkis is also a good resource if you are thinking about money...she is the author of ADD and Your Money (her site is here).

Zoe Kessler and I tackled the topic of ADHD, marriage and anger from two different perspectives - that of an ADHD adult (her) and that of a non-ADHD adult and marriage expert.  We had an interesting conversation around the biological side of ADHD anger - what that feels like, for example - and the environmental side of marital anger (as in "I can't believe my non-ADHD partner is on my case AGAIN!!" and "I can't believe my ADHD partner dropped the ball again!!")  It's useful to realize that anger in your relationship comes from different places.  You can get the link to the podcast from Zoe's blog, here.  We're on again on Thursday, May 24 at 8pm talking about finding the positives in ADHD relationships.  I'll post registration information as soon as it's available.

(by Zoe Kessler - see bio at end.  This post is a "must read" for anyone dealing with an angry ADHD spouse!)  I was diagnosed with ADHD at 46. After my diagnosis, I had a long talk with my sister (who does not have ADHD). One of the most startling things she told me was when we were kids, we’d be happily playing, when – POW! –I’d have an angry outburst. She said this scared her.

All these years later, her childhood memories made me cry. I was filled with shame and remorse. I’d had no idea how my moods had affected her.

When we were kids, I also had no idea what ADHD was, or why I couldn’t control my impulsive anger.

Today, I understand that like other ADHD symptoms, effort and willpower are no match for undiagnosed ADHD. >>> Read more >>>

Have you ever wondered what’s a “normal” sex life?  There is so much buzz around the topic of sex in the forums right now, I think it’s time to write about sex – what might be going on if you’re having too little…and then I’ll write about getting away from porn and sex addiction in another post. >>> Read more >>>

Is ADHD affecting your marriage? It would be rare if it didn't, but traditional marriage counseling often isn't very helpful unless ADHD is diagnosed and treated. The good news is it's highly treatable. In the March issue of the American Psychological Association (APA) Monitor Magazine, Melissa and Drs. Hallowell, Barkley, and Murphy discuss how undiagnosed ADHD affects millions of adults - and their romantic relationships. Read the article at APA Monitor.  

>>> Read more >>>

Great news! The ADHD Effect on Marriage has been released in Chinese (in addition to Dutch). We are delighted to offer this version for people who are more comfortable reading in Chinese. And we love the Asian adaptation of the book cover. To purchase this version, or for more information, please visit Yuan-Liou Publishing Co., Ltd.
 

Many are curious about non-medicinal treatments for ADHD.  Here's a quick overview of the basics. >>> Read more >>>