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I’m new here and just started the ADHD Effect on Marriage audiobook and…it’s been hard. Both my wife and I have ADHD, as well as our five children who have Auhd. Everything I’ve heard we’ve gone through and it has brought me a lot of sadness. The frustration and pain my wife has gone through during our marriage was being said in the book as if someone had recorded us. We have separated for a few months and have tried to work on it for the last 3yrs but continue to hit a wall where she’s pretty much had enough. Whatever trust has eroded away, the respect is gone.

Hi All,

A session is coming up for my ADD ex and me, with our former couples therapist.

Just a note...but there used to be a poster here that went by 'J' and he wrote a lot of posts...and I noticed he hasn't posted to the site for a while...just checking if he's here and you are ok? Or if anyone knows he's alright? 

Questions I have are whether 

(a) anyone has strategies or stories for dealing with ADHD lack of ability to complete simple multi step tasks? 

(b) whether there is a difference is multi-step task completion challenges between adult and children?

Here is some background:

So I have ADHD ex wife and ADHD tween son (he youngest of 3) and rest of us not ADHD.

It has been very difficult forever to communicate basic multi-step tasks to the ADHD part of the family. 

Before I get into stuff going on with me, I want to say …

To c_ur_self,  it was nice reading how peaceful and happy things are for you.  Enjoy your peace and contentment.  : )

Hi. I have been married to a man with ADHD for 23 years. Maybe a combination of kids starting to fly the nest, me trying to figure out who I am now, and who knows what else, but I am finding myself beyond exhausted and burnt out in dealing with my husband. In the last couple of months our marriage has literally tanked. He has no idea why I am upset, and he rants constantly about things he is upset about and has now issued an 'ultimatum'. I feel like my head is going to explode.

Throughout our relationship, my husband has periodically fallen into periods of extreme personal dysfunction (during which he becomes withdrawn, appears to be growing depressed and behaves increasingly unkindly to me) which culminate in him abandoning his family.

It always looks the same — first, he gets really optimistic about his projects (perhaps a bit grandiose and manic) and things feel very exciting and happy for both of us. He becomes more social, and more romantic and loving. I start to feel like maybe our marriage is finally getting on track.

I've come here by way of Orlov's first ADHD Marriage book following my wife of 10+ years diagnosis of ADHD last year. The book was tremendously helpful in my ability to both name my feelings and develop empathy for my spouse. Her therapist was unsurprised to hear of her diagnosis and, at that time, also suggested that she may be mildly autistic.