Saying What You Want

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ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - December 19, 2012

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Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

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“Get in the habit of saying what you want rather than what you don’t want.”

- Diane Sollee
 Director, Smartmarriages.com

 

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Dr. Hallowell's website

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Saying What You Want
More often than not, when I start working with a couple and ask them what they want, they immediately jump into a conversation about what things they don’t like about their relationship, partner or situation.  If I ask them again to tell me what they want, not what they don’t want, I usually get silence.  They’ve become so used to thinking in the negative that they literally can’t answer the question right away!

Are you in the habit of thinking primarily in the negative?  To find out, practice saying only what you want in the positive for 48 hours.  I’m hoping that if this hard for you it will make you think twice!

An example:  instead of saying “I don’t like it when you leave the kitchen counters dirty” you might say “It would make me happy if you would clean off the counters.”

Good luck!

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For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues.  In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD.
 
Hope to hear from you there!
 
Melissa Orlov

© 2012 Melissa Orlov

 

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