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  • mike1234 - 18 hours 49 min ago

    I have been reading these posts for about a year now.I have been diagnosed for a little more than that.I go to my counselor weekly.I see my psychiatrist every three months (mostly for meds) I read books ,that give you strategies.I have been working really hard to make myself better.It is exhausting.I know my wife is exhausted too,but when does it get better?I am trying so hard,but it doesn't seem to make a difference with her. the only time she is happy is when she gets something she wants,not neccesarily needs, and shortly after she is unhappy again.

  • panda123 - 21 hours 2 min ago

    Why is it Ok for him (he has ADHD) to forget everything, but if I forget something it's a catastrophe?  Why is it OK for him to feel overwhelmed because he has 1,000 thoughts running through his head, but it's not OK for me to feel overwhelmed?

  • dedelight4 - 21 hours 24 min ago

    Maybe this thread has already been done, but I have another question in which an ADHD person may be breaking things. Do other ADHD'ers break stuff?  My ADHD husband is always breaking things, and has ever since I met him. Most of the time he shrugs it off, but it has cost us an unbelievable amount of money in replacing items that he breaks.

  • Mapper - 1 day 15 hours ago

    I am not sure if my Husband has ADHD or what but I am SO FED UP with this constant not going to work!! He works for a union and has been at his job for almost 6 years. When he found out about FMLA during his 3rd year that's when things took a turn for the worse. He tells his doctor he's got back issues, which he does, but they certainly don't keep him from working. His doctor doesn't seem to care when he comes in asking for a note saying why he missed so many days. He is supposed to be limited to 2 days a month off.

  • dedelight4 - 1 day 17 hours ago

    Does anyone else have to deal with this ADHD trait, and if so, how do you deal with it.  My ADHD husband will say something 50 to 100 times or more before he actually DOES the thing he's talking about. One such incident is spray killing the weeds in the front yard, which he talked about for weeks ahead of time. Finally he puts up some sticks and string around the piece of yard he is putting the weed killer on, but STILL DIDN'T put down the weed killer.

  • Djadechen - 1 day 23 hours ago

    Thank you in advance for reading this.  I am having a real hard time with marriage.  My husband has anxiety and takes medication for it.  I also think he has ADHD, but he argues that it doesn't exist.  Please let me know if you agree with me.  He makes NO plans at all with life with me.  The only things he mentions are things he likes to do, fishing and watching movies.  As far as planning for kids, I do All of it.  

  • lauriejs - 2 days 20 hours ago

    My ADHD husband always has excuses as to why he can't do things.  I'm just about at the end of my rope!  He has told me to give him lists of things that need to be done around the house but when I do he rarely completes the tasks.  Yesterday I emailed him a list while i was at work.  He received the list at 10am and said he would be happy to do everything I asked and have it done before I got home.  The chores amounted to about 30 minutes of work and yet when I got home at 3pm nothing had really been done.  He did unload the dishwasher but never finishe

  • catysporleder - 3 days 13 hours ago

    My husband received his diagnosis this week, and him and my son have taken off to visit his mother for the weekend. As I do research and read read read I'm having floods of realizations wash over me, it all makes sense. One of the things that I've felt so strongly for so long (we've been together for 10 years) is a strong sense of loneliness, and as though he never truly engages me in conversation, or is capable of empathy.

  • I'm So Exhausted - 3 days 22 hours ago

    When my spouse first asked me on a date 32 years ago, I was in awe.  I could not believe he wanted to take me out.  He was tall, blue eyed, and handsome.  I was shy, awkward, and disliked myself intensely.  Our first date was to an expensive dinner theatre.  On the way, he talked about his life.  He was engaged to someone else - but not FORMALLY, as in 'no ring yet' - and he wanted to make some new friends (That was me - the new friend.)

    He said - she said.  To this day he insists he never said the word engaged. 

  • Lizzysm83 - 4 days 16 hours ago

    I have been dating someone with ADD for about 6 months. At first it was amazing, and I couldn’t imagine why anyone would have hesitations about dating someone with ADHD. My family was dismayed about how much time we seemed to be spending together and how fast the relationship seemed to be moving.

    About 3 months ago he started going to school full time – in addition to his full time job, his part time job and his myriad of other hobbies. In that time, I feel like our relationship has gone from a whirlwind fairy tale to seriously stressed.

  • mrsg13 - 5 days 20 hours ago

    I have recently made the decision to leave my ADHD Husband because I'm so overwhelmed and exhausted after nearly 4 years together (2 1/2 married). From the very beginning I never felt like we had a true partnership or a courtship. We rushed into moving in together and we rushed into marriage which hurt our relationship a lot. My Husband was only diagnosed with ADHD about 3 months ago, but the problems caused by his symptoms have been present for our entire relationship.

  • crossingfingers... - 5 days 21 hours ago

    My mom said "I'm not sure if this is the 'real' him that you never knew, or if this is a manifestation of the difficult situation he is in. Either way, it does not excuse poor behavior." 

    The poor behavior is my bf under-appreciating me, making excuses for not trying to meet my needs, and being condescending to me. I am trying to figure out if this is part of his personality or a defense mechanism for the ADHD thought-process.

  • nonwife - 6 days 17 hours ago

    Original post deleted out of guilt and frustration.

  • Rosered - 1 week 22 hours ago

    I'm feeling a lot of grief right now.  My husband, who has diagnoses of ADHD, anxiety, and depression, did something that exposed me to legal liability.  If the injured party chooses to pursue me, I could end up paying thousands of dollars in damages and might be subject to discipline by my state's lawyer regulatory agency.

  • shmm - 1 week 4 days ago

    We dated for one and half year. My boyfriend (actually ex-boyfriend now) told me he had ADHD in the first a couple of months we started dating. He is sweet, respectful and thoughtful most of time. He has a good job and works hard. But the same as other ADDers, he is not very patient and easy to get irritated. He is forgetful and has a lot of sporadic thoughts. Though I got frustrated with this relationship sometimes, I try not to take his acts personally, and try to communicate. I would say I enjoyed most of time with him.

  • jennalemon - 1 week 4 days ago

     I thought I could help my husband be someone better than he was. I thought that was being supportive. And I thought he would appreciate that. He may have even asked me to help him do that. Now I think he hates me for trying to do that. I would hate it if someone put their focus on me, to better me.  The fact is....he gets to be who he is and who he wants to be.  I get to be who I am and who I want to be.  I have stopped trying to help him be different.

  • I'm So Exhausted - 1 week 4 days ago

    My spouse is prescribed  Adderall to help address his negative ADHD characteristics.  He takes the generic form -  D-Amphetamine Salt Combo, 20 mg in the morning and 10 mg in the afternoon.   As I understand it, the main reason he chooses the generic form is he does not want to spend money on medication.  In his view, Adderall-XR is too expensive.  He has taken this medication for over a year, probably at least 2 years.  Day in, day out.

  • Rosered - 1 week 5 days ago

    My husband illegally downloaded material from the Internet while he was at our house over the weekend.  (He mostly lives with his parents, for whom he provides caregiving services, now.)  I received a warning letter from our Internet provider. I'm extremely upset.  Is there any way I can keep him from doing this in the future, short of preventing him from bringing his computer into the house when he is here?  Thank you.  


  • MomNWife - 2 weeks 8 min ago

    I had suspected my DH had ADHD for months.  We were seeing a therapist for one of our children for another reason and so was able to discuss one-on-one with him.  He agreed to do the eval on my DH and ended up diagnosing DH with ADHD - PI.  However, he said DH only needs meds - no therapy.  WHAT!?!?!?  The shocker was when he told me that I have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Traits and I need months of therapy.  

  • b-guy - 2 weeks 11 hours ago

    I just recently became aware of ADHD being the likely contributor to much hurt and pain in my life. I have joked for a long time about having ADD/ADHD not ever really taking it seriously or realizing how many aspects of one life it can effect. I have recently come to realize how much it encompasses. I have often fought with my wife over things in the house not getting done or forgetting to do things. I have honestly wanted to improve but the improvement is slow to come or neglect or forgotten about soon.