Recent Forum Posts

Hi everyone.  I was recently dumped, for lack of a better word, by my ADHD partner of 9 years.  He denied there being another woman involved, but I am becoming more and more suspicious and paranoid that there is. 

So I guess the spiteful, spurned side of me wants to hope that his future relationships will fail too...that he won't find the happiness that was denied to me.

What is your experience with this?  Did your ADHD spouse have a successful relationship with his mistress or future partners?   

Being in a relationship with someone with untreated ADHD has been compared to being in a relationship with an alcoholic, where the non-addict spouse almost inevitably becomes somewhat codependent. The codependent non-addict spouse falls into a pattern of "enabling" the addict by rescuing them, by cleaning up after them, by picking up the slack etc.  Because of this enabling behavior the addict doesn't have to face the consequences of his own actions, and therefore is never motivated to change his behavior. 

 

Whither EMPATHY?

Dear Melissa & Ned,i

It seems to me that the crucial first step to be able to communicating in a 'validating' manner, is to put oneself in the other's shoes for the moment, even if it is a close relationship like with your spouse.  And, this needs to occur in both partners.

Just before we found out that my Husband was diagnosed with ADHD we decided that it was a mutual goal of ours to buy a house by the end of this year. Now that we know he has ADHD, I'm contemplating whether or not buying a house is a good decision for us. I know it's a huge responsibility and a huge commitment. If I don't feel like I can rely on him or trust him to get things done at all (like now), I can see it being a big potential problem down the road. I also know that it would likely mean more responsibility for me and I already feel very overwhelmed.

My Husband was diagnosed just a few weeks ago with ADHD (the combined type) and he is 33 years old. It seems very severe. In fact, the doctor told us that it wasn't even questionable whether or not he has ADHD since he scored a 105 out of a possible 120 based on the questions he answered. We're looking into him getting on medication, but it seems to be taking awhile for us to get a doctor's appointment especially cuz we had to find one that was affordable enough for us. I am also really concerned about the costs of the medication.

ive been married for 20 years. we had a period of separation when she had to go work abroad. during that time i seem to have drifted away from her not just because of the distance but with little things as well. i got into a secret relationship and when my wife came back she seems to know that something is afoot. i lied when confronted about it and in turn put my secret relationship on the rocks to the point that i called it off. now i dont know what to do. i feel that i love and miss the girl in my secret relationship more than my wife.

The subject line pretty much says it all.  I am wondering if treatment, particularly medication, can help cure a video game addiction in someone with ADD.  I feel like the only cure for anything like this is hitting rock bottom, so I am not optimistic, but I am wondering if anyone has noticed any changes one way or another regarding video game addiction after starting medication.

This is my first time posting to this website, I have never reached out to other people online for answers but feel sort of desperate. My husband has ADD and was diagnosed about a year and a half into being married, we have been married now for 2 years and 8 months. Just over a year into our marriage he told me that he had been thinking about divorce, that he wasn't sure that we were meant to be together and I was completely shocked. I loved my husband so much and divorce had never even crossed my mind.

I'm curious to know if anyone else has participated in 12-steps programs related to or helpful to ADHD?

I dated a guy with ADHD for 6 months (we are both in our mid-30s).  He told me that he had ADHD, that he was diagnosed as an adult, and that he only recently started taking medication, which he took only during the work week.  As you hear often on these Forums, when he was focused on me, everything was great.  Throughout the time we dated, he was great about calling me every day, and when we were together, we had a lot of fun and no strife.  However, the time we spent together in person was very inconsistent because of the million different activities he was always

    I want to start a thread on whether or not you folks see ADHD on the rise/ (not just more people being diagnosed), and/or...........are we as a nation being poisoned by many "outside" factors? (or both)

I dont know if this is the right place for this question. Im new here and havent searched the site too much. But my husband and I have been having so many issues that its hard to even begin. I believe he has ADD, not ADHD. He is not very active, hates doing things. I was recently diagnosed with autism (high functioning) and obviously knew something was always different about me. Our relationship has always been, well i cant even find the word. We have always fought alot. He blamed me and I blamed him. Now I know why I am the way I am.

Sex is a subject that I have read in many posts, with people not getting into it right then because of needing to talk about other issues, but it DOES get mentioned. There has been a running theme that has me interested, because it's also MY relationship with my ADHD husband. The issue being this: Before the wedding, or at the beginning of the marriage, sex is good, maybe not great but still okay, but AFTER the wedding it changes and becomes almost non-existent and for some, TOTALLY non-existent as in my case.

Yesterday I got an email from my boyfriend's business partner, I'll call "R." The two of them are working on several projects that will (in theory) make more money. Except right now my boyfriend owes R $300. And R is fed up.

To quote R, "I've grown tired of being our bank as I'm sure you have too.  I've grown tired of being the only adult one in our partnership."

Dealing with a lot lately. My 5 year old was recently diagnosed with asthma. That's on top of her life threatening food allergies, seasonal allergies (10 months out of the year), indoor allergy to dust and in my belief, possible ADHD. There's never a quiet moment in my home. My husband has what I believe is un-diagnosed ADHD and he is driving me crazy. My daughter just started Kindergarten this past fall and it has been an uphill battle with the constant colds that last forever due to asthma complications.

We just got rid of our couch recently.  It was torn up and springs were popped up from my kids jumping on it.  My husband went to Costco to look for a replacement.  He found a white, leather couch he wanted.  I told him there is no way I want a white, leather couch.  The kids would ruin it and I don't find leather to be comfortable.  He insisted I look at it, which I did.  I found another one there that I wanted and sent him pictures.  He went back to Costco to look at it while I was at work.  He called me at work to tell

hello all

i have been reading here for a while, learning a lot from all of you - but now i need some help and possibly a kick in the pants!

My husband, who has ADHD (and other things), was a pretty good dad when our daughters were little.  He played with them.  I don't know if it's a coincidence, but he started to withdraw from me and the marriage and family responsibilities when our daughters were in middle school, a time in life when children often struggle with social and emotional issues.  I was the only parent dealing with most of the problems that arose.  I had and continue to have a good relationship with my daughters, now young adults.

I have an issue.  I've been invited to an impromptu dinner this evening with some friends from my church group.  I would like to go.  DH does not have plans, and I hate that I have to "ask permission" to do something like this.  Now thinking this through, I know that an ADHD mind may see this as a problem because it deviates from the normal schedule.  Also, I know that my husband will translate it into something like "she would rather be with these people than with me" or sometimes "is she up to no good?".  In reality, I haven&

I had been using this site to express anger and vent believing that I needed a place to rid myself of my frustrations and hurt.  A test* was done by psychiatrists who studied if venting is helpful in this way.  They found that venting and sharing venting makes the anger increase, not subside.  Hmmmmm....so they say Frued was wrong.