Recent Forum Posts

I seriously feel like I am suffocating in this house. I am so tired of trying to pick up and keep things organized, just to have it all blown to pieces by my ADHD husband. I am nothing close to a neat freak, but his piles and projects are killing me. If it was just in his office, I could sigh and close the door. But it is seeping out of his office. The garage is a nightmare thanks to his "Hey how about I spontaneously start tearing down all of the drywall (including the ceiling) so I can insulate and put up new wood" right before Christmas and his busy tax season.

Twice today, I have been in a conversation with someone, and my ADHD spouse has walked up to us, starting his own conversation as he walked up - in a very load voice - with the person I was talking too.  Ugghh.  I just want to scream.  

These are the situations I just don't know how to get a grip on. . . . . I just walk away. . . .  I don;t know how to address it without starting an argument.  

Any one have  any luck dealing with these sorts of situations.  

Hi all. I haven't posted here in a very long time. My husband and I have been married for 22 years.  He has ADHD (inattentive, distracted, hyperactive, diagnosed as a child), which I knew about and understood when we first began dating. He is the love of my life. But I always knew it would a be a difficult relationship, I went in with my eyes open.

SOME people just don't WANT to be good. It seems that dh has taken on the lifelong attitude of "I can't, so screw it all. I'll make myself FUN and camouflage my secrets." FLIMFLAM.   I had the naive notion that all people wanted and strived to be successful, happy, partnered and respected in a shared relationship and in a community.  This is not true .... as I am thinking of and looking at dh  and how he has made choices and conducts himself.  He NEEDS a certain amount of mess and chaos around him.

If you know my story, my spouse and I have been separated for months. He has untreated ADHD. I am trying to balance co-parenting with him and maintain a friendly and supportive relationship. I also come here to continue to work out some stuff from our pretty traumatic relationship. 

I filed for a legal separation yesterday.  This is progress and I'm feeling hopeful.  Here's why:  1) After I told my husband, we had a calm discussion about the legal and practical ramifications of the filing and of a possible separation.  It has been awhile since we've been able to stay on topic when the topic is serious and personal.

I have been lurking here for a while. My husband of 20 years was recently diagnosed with ADHD-Inattentive type. It took my leaving to get him into diagnosis and treatment. I have experienced many of the problems discussed here: his chronic unemployment and related financial problems, mental exhaustion and  feeling like the only responsible adult in the house because he cannot seem to make or keep a to-do list, frustration and hopelessness, etc.

My husband and I have been married for over 16 years, and I have known for a long time that he has ADD/inattentive type.  Unfortunately, I have seen my self esteem plummet and my internal monologue turn sour.  I have thought it was my fault, and have been slowly changing into someone who doesn't want to rock the boat at all, overly needy, and constantly seeking attention from my husband.  I have been reaching out in various ways for years, and I have finally decided that I don't like who I am becoming.  I devoured Melissa's book in one day, and I highly recom

Hi everyone,

I am the female in a two-ADHD-partner relationship. We are not married, but we have lived together for most of the 2 1/2 years we've been a couple. He currently stays in his old house, 45 mins away, that he is buying out from his ex, so that he can be with his two sons more, who live with their mother in that town.

My final straw came this week.  I don't talk to my husband much about our problems and he is happy for me not to do so.  But for me, although talking about things is hard, it seems just as bad to not talk about them.  So, I brought up how frustrated I am.  My husband almost immediately redirected the conversation to explaining how my bad reactions cause him to respond the way he does.

My paradigm of the Chain of Events:

1.  My spouse is in the dining room, backing-up (walking).  I don't remember why he was walking backward.

2.  My son is walking forward, carrying a bowl of 'right-off-the-stove' Ramen Noodle Soup.

3.  I am standing near the stove.

4.  A collision of the 2 men happens.  

5.  I cry out my spouse's name.

6.  Both men are splashed with boiling hot soup.

What its like to have ADHD

 Hi, This is the first time I have ever posted anything in my life. I am typically an insanely private person, but I’m at such a low point in my life I can’t help but reach out. I’ve been on an off of this website for a few years now and have gained some great insight, but haven’t activity participated in any of the discussions. I have certainly related with so many of the postings.

Sigh. Now I'm just saving money to leave. I work til 2am, every night. Every day, there are things that my dh has done or forgotten to do or says that grate my nerves. But, this morning I find out he got our sick child out of bed to pick up a friend stuck at a bar. I'm so mad that I want to cry. My son is still sick this morning, won't eat. 

First, let me say, I am committed to my marriage and do not want to break up my family.  But ADD is making my life hell.  I have almost completely shut down towards my husband and just can't seem to help it.  He is trying and honestly has no idea how negatively his ADD affects me.  Or maybe he has head knowledge but it doesn't register enough for him to make any changes.  I know that my reactions to his ADD are just as bad as his inability to pay attention to me.  I am just at my wits end and so tired of being unhappy.  I have talked, cried, e

Hi, I am wrecked, exhausted, overworked and beyond coping with organising my husband's life, picking up the unfinished pieces and dealing with debts, bills, children's needs and running my own business and the house. I think my husband may be ADHD.. just from reading about the symptoms and the effect on our marriage and my own life. I am a fixer, a strong and very capable organiser,..

This song speaks to me

http://youtu.be/TA_wJohSuPc or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnIzbukJOHQ

I recognize that I am now full-on using this site as a therapeutic tool. Apologies to George for using these boards as a personal journal. As I've said elsewhere something about a journal is just incredibly annoying to me. The concept of writing things down for no audience but myself just seems ridiculous. Perhaps I love the tenor of my own prose, but only if it is available for public viewing. Vanity.

Here is my frustration for today:

I struggled with anorexia and bulimia from age 19 to about 30.  15 years of struggle.  "No quick fix."  was what I heard from psychiatrists/counselors.   My spouse used to come with me to some of my counseling.  The focus was me:  my issues; how I coped with emotional pain through the eating disorder behavior; how difficult it was for  my spouse to be hopeless in 'making' me eat differently. 

I'm beyond frustrated tonight.  For many years I've tried to quietly get the keys when leaving a restaurant when my husband has been drinking.  I've tried to hide it from my child.  My spouse often argues & minimizes what he's had to drink.  We had a big blowout on the same topic 4 yrs ago.  I've been very clear that I don't want him drinking while driving or driving us home after several mixed drinks or beers -  especially not with our son in the vehicle. It's silly when I'm sober to take the risk.