Recent forum posts (all topics)

My wife (36F) and I (36M) separated quite abruptly at the start of the year and she moved out of the family home back in March.

During the initial stage of the separation she completed (with my assistance for one section) a ADHD referral questionnaire to seek a diagnosis which she received in July confirming a Combined diagnosis.

My wife and will be married 20 years next week.   

The last few years have been rough.   I read the book.   A lot of it rang true.   I'm the one with ADHD.  

Make no mistake, addressing our relationships with ADHD partners no matter our own personal issues which may contribute or complicate matters is not just a marathon (certainly not a sprint), it is an ultramarathon mountain race on par with the Montblanc.  It's hard, and it remains hard, for both partners.  I must remind myself constantly to hang in, talk myself off various cliffs (giving up, giving out, walking away...), and pick myself up and get back in there and fight. My wife is extraordinary, I do love her and enjoy us together when we're in a good place.

My husband's mouth is starting to rot out because he hasn't been keeping up with his dental care. He doesn't like his dentist, so he asked me to make an appointment for him with mine, which I was happy to do. I really like my dentist -- they're a small team, but they're thorough and they obviously care about their work.

Husband and I had a therapist session yesterday whereby he stated I was angry/resentful everyday. Mostly I am just exhausted trying to get things done and deal with his inconsistency. Therapist told us not to return unless we are willing to listen to each other (we have been going since February 2026).

So, my brother passed away 2 months ago, and I am still dealing with that and all that fell on me as next of kin. His Bank Accounts, Surrogate Courts in two states and it is a lot. I am also dealing with my mother who has Alzheimer's and is in a nursing home in which I take care of her. On top of all that I have deal with my wife and her ADHD. 

Hello Everyone, 

I was discarded like a piece of trash on a camping trip.   I'm so lost right now and I need help.  I wrote a 133 page deposition on what happened. I wrote down a timeline of events, the effects of another condition and everything that lead up to being thrown away by somebody who was supposed to love me.  I am grieving the loss of this marriage. I have no hope of restoration because of all of the damage. The ADHD syptoms just primarily destroyed the relationship because having them a long with a 17 year old stepdaughter who has Reactive Attachment disorder just clearly doesn't mix.

Three years now since I decided to leave my severe inattentive ADHD partner of two decades. 

What strikes me now, several weeks into vacation mode, is how raw the pain still is. Mostly, I avoid thinking of him. But when I do, it’s clear the bond is nowhere near breaking. Essentially, I loved him, ADHD and all. Essentially, I would’ve wanted to stay with him.

I've read the ADHD Effect on Marriage book 3 times, and many others as well. So I know what everyone says and the "tips and tricks". At the end of the day, my ADHD wife of 20 years just refuses to do anything about it. She says she hates the way her brain is, but has no plans to do anything on her end.

Nothing is her fault and she is not accountable for anything. She is on social media 6+ hours a day, but doesn't have time to clean or cook while I go to work and pay for everything.