ADHD partner has no friends
Submitted by sarah2418 on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 16:22
Does anyone have any advice about how people with ADHD can get a bit better in social situations? My partner has ADHD, we have 2 very young children together, he is untreated and everything has just come to a head recently over lots of things but mainly the effect ADHD is having on our relationship. He is seeing the doctor later this week to see about starting some meds and maybe counselling but to be honest I don't feel his heart is really in it at all.
Ive been doing a lot of thinking the past few days and I realised that one of the things I dislike most about this relationship is the lack of socialising we do as a couple. I hope I don't get shouted down for sounding like I'm being unfair or just a total b***h but he really is awful in any social situation. He talks over people constantly, butts in constantly, sometimes he even asks someone a question then answers it himself. I absolutely hate going out anywhere with him, the whole evening is spent cringing over all the things he does and you can visibly see the moment when the other person in the conversation has just switched off and is looking for an escape route.. It seems he has 2 settings - withdrawn and not talking or non stop talking. I understand this is a typical ADHD trait but my question is - can a 33 year old man who has never been treated really learn all the non verbal cues that most people pick up naturally from childhood onwards? And if so how do they learn?
I feel very sad for him, he is the sort of person who needs to be liked by everyone but he only has one friend. This friend is someone who has known him since they were kids and although I wouldn't go as far to say he excepts my partner the way he is he is the only person who ever calls him or wants to do anything with him. We have been out numerous times with my friends and their boyfriends but my partner just never hits it off with them, and I can understand why. He has lots of aquaintances but no real friends. What can he do to remedy this?? I want to be able to have a social life with him but right now I would do anything to avoid going out with him. Or does anyone else just have experience of this and happy to share? Thanks