Submitted by BettyHeck on 02/02/2024.
a bit of a background: Im a non-ADHD partner here. My husband was diagnosed recently and for both of us diagnosis was a relieve more than anything else. There is a desire to work on the symptoms, with meds and coaching so its all is going in the right direction.
BUT i have just realized that he really thinks its enough to tell me he loves me and live it at that. There are barely any compliments, ever. he is not able to tell me how he would describe me if ever asked. etc etc. I just dont know if this is an ADHD thing or something else.
I'm not sure if it's an adhd thing...
Submitted by CANTGOBACK on
But I do know that the biggest compliment of all is when a partner is dedicated to improving their relationship with you, how beautiful is that? I know that words if affirmation are an important love language, but maybe just not his. I hope things work out good for you two!
Back to basics...
Submitted by Prtypr22 on
Hi Betty,
How often did he compliment you when you were dating? (During his hyperfocus days) And how often did he describe you to his friends? And how did he describe you to them? If you can find out the answers to that, it may help with your expectations. Although he's ADHD, he still has a love language that most likely is NOT going to be 'words of affirmation.'
What is his love language? How does he show love to you? All that factors in.
I've been there.
Hope this helps.
Defo ADHD
Submitted by Yunaleska on
I can seriously relate to this. My husband is very caring - but saying that, I have felt lonely and deprived of love for many years and he didn't understand me for a very long time. He was diagnosed last year and since then, things have made more sense (not that it's made it easy) but this is exactly how i felt. I couldn't understand it for a long time and spent time crying and feeling low about myself. The meds will help, but i suggest therapy for both of you.