Submitted by brindle2 on 11/10/2023.
I posted in the midst of great frustration last night, which is something that I try to avoid, so I am going to delete this.
I posted in the midst of great frustration last night, which is something that I try to avoid, so I am going to delete this.
Don't delete it... get it out
Submitted by Off the roller ... on
You shouldn't feel like you need to delete. We understand here more than anyone and it's very scary when you type of words that are difficult to face up to. But that's your reality. Sending hugs.
Thank you, Dubbie.
Submitted by brindle2 on
Thank you for the kind encouragement. You are absolutely right that no one else understands like the posters here. This site is what keeps me sane at times.
I had posted about how I never feel successful in the cleaning of our house because they undo the work immediately, as well as it is so very hard to get them to clean up as they go along. Erma Bombeck once said that keeping house with kids in the home was like shoveling the sidewalk while it is still snowing. I think with adhd kids that is even more true. And my husband is the same, and he will not clean up at all.
So, you know, eventually it makes me want to lose my mind, and that is how I felt when I posted. I really want to always just take things in stride, but the housework is such a sore point, especially after so many years.
Hey Brin
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
In the final years of my marriage, I hired a cleaning service to come in every two weeks. It forced a bi-weekly cleanup on his part and allowed me to have my house back for entertaining. The cleaners came on Friday so I could host on the Saturday.
Also, instead of allowing the entire house to be a dumping ground, I started putting all of his messes in one room. He also slept in that room and it was just awful. Stuff crawling up the walls four feet high and not a scrap of floor showing. But I could close that door and the rest of the house stayed livable.
These are coping measures, obviously, but they are honestly two of the best things I did for my sanity.
Thinking of you.
Thank you, Melody.
Submitted by brindle2 on
Thank you for telling me what you found helpful. You're right - coping mechanisms are the name of the game. I have decided to pick two areas of my home and work to improve those, rather than thinking about the house as a whole, and see if that helps how I feel about the situation. One is a busier part of the house, and one is a quieter part of the house. Maybe if I change my focus and approach this in a different way, then perhaps the frustration will lessen a little. And if it doesn't, well, then I will try something else. I also did try something this weekend: when I got really bothered by one of the rooms, I started focusing on how I was thankful for the items in the room, instead of focusing on the negative thoughts and feelings I was having. It did help pretty quickly to turn my frustration around.