Been married many years. Wife has probably alway been a little like she is but, I think menopause also, its become more pronounced. Anyway, she got diagnosed and its on medication.
I try to be understanding but I have a hard time. Few of the things below. Want to ask really is this "normal" for someone with ADHD and how should I react.
1. She has other illnesses but still works and its not an easy job. BUT she'll come home and won't stop even if it makes her ill. I just don't get this - why not just sit down and chill a bit but she won't.
2. Constantly focusing on "something". Any old crap. Shes never off her phone. 11pm at night she'll be showing me something shes seen to buy for the kitched. I just jeez its late just switch off a little.
3. Focuses on crap stuff. I've had whole conversations about, for example, plans for, say, Saturday night. Then I'll mention Saturday and she'll be like "oh we're doing something saturday?" and I'll think jeez we had a 10 min conversation. Its as if she switched off. But then she'll have focused on and found the exact best cat food for the cat. I just think get the basics right first before you worry about other stuff.
I really want to be understanding but sometimes I just get so annoyed.
Hi bb1471
Submitted by sometimesitshel... on
From what I hear menopause hits women differently - for some it's plain sailing and for others it can be hell. ADHD most certainly compounds that, your poor wife. Hormones bouncing about is never easy :)
I'll add my own situation with my ADHD husband -
1. My husband is similar to your wife, and he really has to be quite ill before he takes it easier. I often have to encourage him to rest and get more sleep. He rarely gets enough sleep.
2. My goodness! my husband loves his SCREENS. I call it googly-googly. Doesn't matter if TV, tablet, computer or smartphone he loves googly-googly! He enjoys starting up arguments on the net whether defending or irritating someone. He enjoys anything to do with his fave film franchises. And classic TV (yeah, the '80s were good).
There's been many a time when I'm *trying* to discuss something somewhat serious and he'll still be going on about his fave film characters. And I say, would you be interested if I went on at length about hand embroidery?! I'm trying to relate something to you.
3. When talking about something (perhaps boring) but necessary, I touch his arm gently and/or say please look at me. Sometimes this works. He does trance out. Even while alone this happens. ADHDers do find it difficult.
Its so hard at the moment its
Submitted by bb1471 on
Its so hard at the moment its like theres another person there.....