Will my ADHD ex ever really understand how his behavior hurts me?
Submitted by balcox25 on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 17:27
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, one month ago. In the past we have broken up before based on his behavior. Basically it took breaking up for him to hear me even though I had been saying that something bothered me every day for a year. But this was how we did it. i would talk he would say he understands and then...wait for it...yes, it would happen again the very next week or day even. Our last break up was fairly long. He snores loud enough that someone across the house with their door shut and TV was up all night. He was given a C0Pap machine but refused to put it on. After every night reminding him 3 to 4 times and one year of no sleep I had finally had it and he was asked to move out. Of course he gave me that I don't understand and even worse he gave me all these excuses that even my nine year old was seeing through. Anyway, this is our third break up and I was wondering do people with ADHD know they messed up and will they do anything about it?
He is going to a doctor but I do not know how good he is. All I know is my ex keeps saying he is working on the future and plans. Well he has been talking about these plans for 4 years now (new job or going back to school, he is 37) and he is still nowhere. Not even a phone call or looking through personals, yet everyday he complains about his job and how he wants to do something else. I just can't wrap my mind around how someone can complain but yet do nothing for 4 years and now he is seeing someone for 4 months and still no one thing! Is this normal?
My question is after this ranting...Do people with ADHD understand that they are different and can they be sorry for their behavior or in their mind will it always be, "Not that big of a deal".
Also, do ADHD people even think about their ex's or are they so focused on themselves during beginning therapy that they just disappear in their own world.
I just really need help on understand how someone who clams to love me breaks so many compromises (All of them, did not follow thru on one in 4 years) and them when I get so mad and break up he is out the door and in the world just fine! Grrr! If ADHD makes you not care please temporarily throw some my way because it would be nice not to feel right now. Loving someone with ADHD is no fun!