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Negotiation and Setting Boundaries

Negotiation skills, how to make sure you get to live the life you want to live regardless of ADD

Nuts and bolts of separating

Submitted by Sueann on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 14:29

I have finally decided I can't live with my husband any more. He doesn't feel he should have to move, unlike Lululove's husband who left when she told him to. So I, handicapped, have to divide all our stuff, pack and move. I am going to move about 90 miles away, where my job is (it's on online job; I never go there) and my family. >>> Read more >>>

Expecting the unexpected while setting boundaries

Submitted by motormom on Fri, 12/30/2011 - 10:27

This goes out to those in marriages/relationships either with both partners or one with ADD/ADHD.

I don't know about other individuals, but for myself it seems that when a boundary is set and choice is made to be non-negotiable...the unexpected becomes the expectation of compromising.

What works for some does not work for all. Appeasing the other person with or without ADD/ADHD means that at times we have to compromise ourselves in order to satisfy the other person. >>> Read more >>>

Stopping the codependence

Submitted by lululove on Wed, 11/30/2011 - 00:30

Hi All, I guess I'm writing this tonight just to update.. Basically i asked my DH to leave- because though I could and have taken many things that I feel were unkind, unfair, disconnected in our relationship- I had to pull the plug when his physical violence kept getting worse and I started to really fear his loss of control. He does not get it! He still blames me for "pushing him" to act the way he does. Its crazymaking- and for a long time I have been believing it. My friends and family have not been able to understand what I have been feeling -neither have I.
>>> Read more >>>

Acceptance??

Submitted by committed on Sun, 10/23/2011 - 06:14

Hi, I am new to posting on this site.  I have been reading posts on it for a few months here and there and find, of course, myself and my marriage to a man w/ADHD in all the posts.  We have been married 13 years, and he was "diagnosed" when we sought marital counseling about six years ago.  He never has had formal testing, but the therapist we worked with discerned it through a history and when he suggested meds, my husband agreed to try and we noticed immediate results.  He stopped taking the meds a few months into it, as he was having some side effects.  >>> Read more >>>

Advice needed about finding a way through

Submitted by Linsy on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 07:26

Hello everyone, I have been living apart from my long term partner for a year. Although he says he has explored the idea that ADD is behind his increasingly difficult behaviour, I am not sure if he has actually gone all the way down the path to diagnosis and treatment - he appears to keep this secret from me. We parted because I was so stressed I was unable to control my panic attacks and anxiety, as every time I came home from work it was to find something wrong, nothing done, and everyone angry and upset. >>> Read more >>>

Financially supporting ADD boyfriend

Submitted by littlesherry on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 08:23

Good morning all,

I am new to this site.  I would like a bit of advice.

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we live together.  He is a contractor and has not been working outside of a few odd jobs here and there.  He has contributed very little to nothing to the household bills.  I pay the mortgage, food, utilities and even pay for vacations etc.  I even had to buy his brother's birthday present yesterday. >>> Read more >>>

I need help setting boundries

Submitted by NeedHope1980 on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 07:40

I'm not very good at it.  I can set boundaries for myself but he always manages to talk me out of them with his anger.  He gets angry with me when I say No.  He feels like I'm controlling him when all I'm doing is protecting myself.  He makes me feel incredibly guilty. >>> Read more >>>