Recent Comments

  • by: notgonnalosemyself - 1 hour 46 min ago
    I wish I could hug you right now. First of all make sure you were safe, and stick very closely to friends and family. You will need to talk your feelings out so that you can think clearly. Take the time to get to know yourself a little bit better and to strengthen yourself. This doesn't have to be the end, you can view it as giving him time to get his stuff together. Make sure you give yourself enough time before feeling sorry for him and going back to the same situation. The ADHD will not go away but the...
    >>> on Forum topic - Dealing with my anger regarding my ADHD husband

  • by: Grrr - 7 hours 7 min ago
    Oh my god. To talk to someone who KNOWS! What an oasis! Thank you notgonnalosemyself. Ty Ty Ty!  Well we split up tonight   I don't think he even registers he's drunk somewhere    I wish I wish I wish I just wish for all of it to go away.  to know what he would be like! I wish I wish I wish I just wish for all of it to go away to know what he would be like  without this disorder to treat me nicely to be loving and kind and not have to wrestle with alcoholism and all the rest of it   You can't wish it'll...
    >>> on Forum topic - Dealing with my anger regarding my ADHD husband

  • by: JJamieson - 18 hours 8 min ago
    I wrote this story as the culmination of very long process of self discovery and at a time when when my wife and I had already had two moments of calling it quits.  We were at a stalemate and I was searching desperately to find and answer or anything I could use to help save our relationship.  For anyone like yourself who has arrived to this forum searching for the same answers, I encourage you trust and listen to yourself in finding the same answers I did in my ability to come to these conclusions that I...
    >>> on Forum topic - Looking for success stories

  • by: notgonnalosemyself - 19 hours 13 min ago
    Wow, my husband has no addictions to drugs or alcohol so I can only imagine what you are going through. It's commendable that you can still see the good bits in him. You are not stupid to want to be treated nicely. I wonder at times what our hubbies would be like without the ADHD, are they capable of being the men we need? I never encourage leaving a spouse, even though I left for a month in April, however, if there is abuse going on and he threatens that he is going to leave YOU, work on being ok with him...
    >>> on Forum topic - Dealing with my anger regarding my ADHD husband

  • by: Grrr - 19 hours 45 min ago
    My spouse threatens to leave me on an almost daily basis. It hurts and makes me angry. Furious really. I have been with him for 6 years now and there are times i wish i did break up with him years ago. I wonder sometimes still if i should continue the neglect and losing things and temper tantrums and and and and and the list goes on. :( I dream of a man who will treat me nicely and not swear at me or blow up on a regular basis. Does he exist? at 46, i feel old and stupid most days, he is 16 yrs my junior....
    >>> on Forum topic - Dealing with my anger regarding my ADHD husband

  • by: jthall - 20 hours 2 min ago
    I have learned through experience . . . never put an item "somewhere safe." "Somewhere safe" means I will never find it again.
    >>> on Forum topic - Tips/Advice? ADHD Processing by Thinking Out Loud?

  • by: JJamieson - 20 hours 4 min ago
    You're post resounded something from my past which think I believe very much are the things that are most important  when I recalled the memory of my mother, with every good intention when she started taking me to church when I was little (actually against my will...sitting still with ADHD?  it was torture!) which preceded with me getting kicked out of Sunday school for asking too many questions? What occurred to me as I read what you said was there was a very good reason for this happening which I can...
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband's relationships with opposite sex

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 1 day 8 hours ago
    >>>> I started singing Karaoke while he was not home working late one day a week and when I separated from him he made a cutting remark about me being "the Queen of Karaoke". I started hitting the gym with my gfriend and getting home at 11 PM and he text me "less talk more walk". Later I asked what that meant and he told me that he was looking at me through the glass and described what I was wearing. Eerie. >>>>>   See how predictable this is.?   My H will belittle nearly...
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband's relationships with opposite sex

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 1 day 9 hours ago
    <<<< I'm the one with the disorder(s). <<<<   Your H is an alcoholic.  I suspect that he also has a disorder.  I would guess that it's pretty rare for someone to become an alcoholic and not have some mental issue.  The reason for the excessive drinking which caused the alcoholism is usually some kind of mental unhealthyness.....major depression, major anxiety, personality disorder, etc.
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD/OCD and the monster in the fridge

  • by: ADHDMomof2 - 1 day 13 hours ago
    I was tired all day long with Adderall and Vyvanse, but only after it took effect.  Strattera made me paranoid, made my heart race (100 BPM; normally in the 60's), and I felt like it sucked the joy out of my life.  If you read the inserts from the pharmacy, there can be some pretty bizarre side effects for stimulants.  However, they tend to be on the rare side.  For most of us, not eating or drinking enough water can be an issue, and losing weight.  Those are the most common side effects.  I would change...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD Meds and Strange Behavior?

  • by: jthall - 1 day 13 hours ago
    Brandon, that was exactly the reaction I received as well. I knew that I had attention and memory issues (not to mention organizational problems, and nonstop fidgeting) for my whole life, so when I finally was diagnosed with ADHD, it was actually a relief. I finally knew it wasn't just that I was an airhead or something. But my partner only sees it as another excuse to add to my arsenal of excuses for why I don't listen to her, why I don't prioritize things right, why I don't finish things, etc. Worse, her...
    >>> on Forum topic - Diagnosis as Validation?

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 1 day 17 hours ago
    You may "only" have ADHD.  And, you may not have a severe case, or maybe you do, but you were raised better.  Good parenting (hands-on, teaching, guiding, routines), can mitigate a lot of ADHD symptoms and behaviors.   In the OP's case and in my case, the H's are also alcoholics.  Their brains don't work well from THAT.   In my case, my H resents it when I'm gone....he resents it a LOT.  In his mind, he is "punishing me" by leaving me a big mess to clean.  In his mind, I deserve it.   One time he got...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD/OCD and the monster in the fridge

  • by: notgonnalosemyself - 1 day 22 hours ago
    I can only control myself right? Whatever the outcome, I am ready, good or bad. Thank you!
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband's relationships with opposite sex

  • by: c ur self - 1 day 22 hours ago
    Things can and will back fire...It sounds like you've experienced enough of life to understand that....I suggest you take your own advise here...None of us on this forum needs to live life making knee jerk reactions (like I have way to often in the past) to our spouses way of thinking and living... Many of us (especially me) based on our posts, get so overwhelmed by their behaviors we forget a vital piece; "We have lives and we should live them regardless of what's being sent our way..:)" Blessings.. C
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband's relationships with opposite sex

  • by: JJamieson - 1 day 22 hours ago
    This was one of those inspirational moments that really are too good not to share with other people.  When I said "it just popped into my head" from the quote from the bible....I couldn't tell you what that quote was even how I knew it .... in the distant past so far removed from memory that I had to look it up just to see if I wasn't completely off base.  Thinking I was pretty sure just from hearing the phrase used?  Here's the modern translation. 1 Timothy 6:12    Fight the good fight of the faith. Take...
    >>> on Forum topic - Goading

  • by: laney - 1 day 23 hours ago
    Hi there, I am sure that reading all these stories is very painful for the spouse with ADHD. I know that there are many posts painful for me to read, especially ones where the spouse who does not have ADHD reacts in a bad way. They give me flashbacks to many moments that weren't my best moments. You're right that no one is perfect. But that doesn't mean we can't suffer greatly because of the actions of another. This is a forum where people on both sides can express their anger and talk through problems....
    >>> on Forum topic - From an ADHD spouse, I'm sorry for all the suffering but...

  • by: notgonnalosemyself - 2 days 6 min ago
    Thank you for your comment. You are right, this should be a learning experience and if BOTH are willing, then it can improve with love and patience. No one is perfect and my husband's ADHD can truly bring out in me qualities I don't like as well as make me depressed, which is not in my nature. I don't want to have to reconsider bullet #3 and so I will work at my marriage and hope that he takes his part seriously also. You make so much sense. On this forum I see marriages that still love and others that...
    >>> on Forum topic - From an ADHD spouse, I'm sorry for all the suffering but...

  • by: notgonnalosemyself - 2 days 16 min ago
    I got roses the day after and I thanked him and tried not to seem disappointed still. I swallowed the pain and have planned a nice Saturday for us this weekend. I hope this year brings us closer so that our next anniversary will be better. He is buying supplements recommended for his ADHD and today we will listen to a webinar he at home and me from work. This will be a long journey. I must continue to be resilient and compassionate. 
    >>> on Forum topic - 25th Anniversary today

  • by: notgonnalosemyself - 2 days 21 min ago
    All of you are right. I started singing Karaoke while he was not home working late one day a week and when I separated from him he made a cutting remark about me being "the Queen of Karaoke". I started hitting the gym with my gfriend and getting home at 11 PM and he text me "less talk more walk". Later I asked what that meant and he told me that he was looking at me through the glass and described what I was wearing. Eerie. I already know what being emotionally attached to a man who takes an interest when...
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband's relationships with opposite sex

  • by: JJamieson - 2 days 34 min ago
    trying to be evasive or vague.  In doing that, I was only pointing to the question and the answer which you stated quite well after you said "I believe". If it's true that you believe your H in the things he's told you, without question this is the source of his PTSD.  From what I read, I have no doubt in my mind either.  Without question in no uncertain terms. Trauma like he experienced is the source for PTSD.  It can be from a handful isolated incidents, or prolonged sustained stress of lesser...
    >>> on Forum topic - 25th Anniversary today

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