Recent Comments

  • by: JJamieson - 14 min 9 sec ago
    once again ....just worded differently?)  YES!  There are not enough boundaries and situations in a lifetime that will prepare you for all the disembodied accusations, anger, projection, magical thinking and complete and utter fabrications of reality that a person like this will come up to fit the moment or their moods.  That's why it is imperative that you have rock solid boundaries yourself.  They will try and put all of this on you in a tidal wave of destructive, ever changing force in volumes that...
    >>> on Forum topic - He sucks the my joy of giving right out of me

  • by: I'm So Exhausted - 2 hours 2 min ago
        Liz
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD, Narcissism, PTSD, Depression, Co-Morbidity, and many other labels

  • by: chenderson - 6 hours 10 min ago
    Everything you say about raising a child with ADD is very much true and I feel your pain. We've never had to deal with the hyperactivity side from my husband or my son. Hyperfocused for sure but hyperactivity is not a part of the equation for us. I can only imagine the added struggles that causes.  I am in no way a trained psychologist or perfect mother. I took my 2 psychology classes that were required for my college degree and was happy to be done with them and as a mother I've made plenty of mistakes....
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: Hopeful Heart - 18 hours 18 min ago
    I would like to add that parenting a difficult child is exhausting. Parents of children with ADHD work much harder and see fewer results for all their work than parents of children without ADHD. My son does not respond to punishment, losing privileges or rewards. He has missed out on MANY of the normal activities and privileges that most kids have because he is being punished. He won't pick up after himself, he won't do chores and he won't do his schoolwork. As a result, he has no phone, he isn't allowed...
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 21 hours 34 min ago
    >>> He does often appear to be viewing reality from a very different perspective than others and sometimes seems delusional (nothing bizarre, but he has admitted he is paranoid and feels as if people are generally unfeeling and don't care or do/will dislike him) >>>   The fact that his therapist only mentioned the ADHD does not mean that that is the only Dx the professional has Dx'd.  It may be the one that he or she wrote down for insurance purposes.  Or it may the only the Dx that...
    >>> on Forum topic - Is it ADHD or Schizophrenia?

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 21 hours 46 min ago
    >>> me: our relationship went south when you started ignoring me. adhd husband: I started ignoring you because you were angry at me.  Me: no, you started ignoring me first. That's why I became hurt and angry.  Adhd husband: if you weren't angry at me I wouldn't ignore you.  And  around and around we go.  It never stops. I have a lot of hurt and anger from being ostracized from my own marriage for two decades. He has put up a wall from years of my hurt and anger. We can't break the cycle. ...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD, Narcissism, PTSD, Depression, Co-Morbidity, and many other labels

  • by: chenderson - 1 day 42 min ago
    I have tried responding a few times and all it turns into is bashing my in laws. I really don't want to go there, they're not perfect by any means but they do love their children and grandchildren very much. All I will say is I see where some of their parenting choices have been a hindrance to my husband. I see many of the signs of ADD in one of my own children, he's so much like my husband that sometimes it hurts. My approach as a mother has been to pay close attention to where my husband struggles and...
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: Rosered - 1 day 1 hour ago
    My husband, who has ADHD, isn't an extreme hoarder but he does hoard.  He no longer buys much and we're currently living separately, so he isn't adding to the amount of stuff in the house.  But I'm trying to declutter and I'm confronted with years' old tools, computer parts, and car parts.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Hoarding

  • by: c ur self - 1 day 4 hours ago
    You are so right!....
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: I'm So Exhausted - 1 day 8 hours ago
    Hopeful Heart, I appreciate that!  After attending a Retrouvaille marriage weekend earlier this year, I finally felt 'not so alone' as I was surrounded by many couple with struggling marriages, all with the goal of making them better.   Probably the most frustrating thing I hear in any part of any sort of therapy is "That is in the past.  You can't do anything about it."  I have not yet figured out how to apply that to my own life.  We had a counselor ask us to explain how we met.  We each shared our...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD, Narcissism, PTSD, Depression, Co-Morbidity, and many other labels

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 1 day 8 hours ago
    <<< If a person lives a lifestyle with little to no self-discipline, little to no self-control usually follows....So what usually happens in an adult mind when discipline and self control is absent....Denial always follows...There can be many side effects when a mind is void of Discipline and self-control....Besides Denial, emotional instability and Anger...i.e..  substance abuse, Porn, Sexual Immorality to name a few.  <<<   this is why I think "chores and routines" at a young age...
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: c ur self - 1 day 9 hours ago
    If a person lives a lifestyle with little to no self-discipline, little to no self-control usually follows....So what usually happens in an adult mind when discipline and self control is absent....Denial always follows...There can be many side effects when a mind is void of Discipline and self-control....Besides Denial, emotional instability and Anger...i.e..  substance abuse, Porn, Sexual Immorality to name a few. When a person continually overrides their conscience in order to maintain the life of...
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: chenderson - 1 day 18 hours ago
    You offer a lot of helpful insight. He often says that he doesn't understand himself at all and thinks I have some great talent at self analysis. I don't think I am any better at it than the average person but am beginning to understand why it might seem that way to him.  I am 100% guilty of attempting to have conversations and come to understanding and closure. It doesn't work. I know it doesn't work with him but I do get caught up in let's just talk about it, figure out what the problem is, what we need...
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: chenderson - 1 day 18 hours ago
    I can't put into words how refreshing it is to know someone else understands!  NPD is on the radar. The official diagnosis is that he meets more of the criteria than the average person but he didn't meet enough to satisfy his therapist for a clinical diagnosis. She hasn't come right out and said it but based on things she has said and the direction she went when we discussed the hair drying incident today, she seems to think that part of his behavior stems from extreme criticism as a child. I'm on the...
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 1 day 20 hours ago
    <<<< It's so frustrating for us who see the answer to issue at hand, but, the mind we're dealing with can't hear it....It's like pouring gas on them and lighting a match....My suggestion to you and my self would be to walk away and stop trying to help or engage him with truth....He can't receive it..... >>>>     He can't receive it....YET.   Depending on the issue, he may be able to receive it in a few days, or in a week or two.   The problem is that when they're emotional,...
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: c ur self - 1 day 20 hours ago
    The one thing I notice in your post, that I notice in so many, and is my reality also....Is this comment:  (I tried having a conversation with him about what had just happened and why it had happened.)  At the end of each negative action you encountered with him and others...You wanted to fix their view's, you wanted to bring understanding to why the chaos happened. I lived through one fight or argument right after next for years doing what you are doing...Just trying to come to an understanding and get...
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: c ur self - 1 day 21 hours ago
    There isn't enough memory recall for the amount of boundaries needed to deal with people who make it up as they go...Their sensational desire to Control everyone and every aspect of living and to have an excuse for themselves when they clearly have gotten caught with their hand in the cookie Jar....You just have to give a shit J....Sorry for the stark reality comment....
    >>> on Forum topic - He sucks the my joy of giving right out of me

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 1 day 22 hours ago
    For the longest time, my H refused to admit that he had depression or anxiety.  I believe that both nearly always go hand in hand with ADHD.  I've never met anyone who doesn't have all 3.     However, what you've described below, is more than those 3 issues.  The "assuming" that you were making a face at him, just out of nowhere, is a red flag.  It's a symptom of Splitting...which is typically found in people who either have Narcissistic PD, or Borderline PD.   He paints you "Black" in that moment,...
    >>> on Forum topic - His anger is getting the best of me.....

  • by: JJamieson - 2 days 6 hours ago
    too many boundaries or expectations are not the problem if this is your situation.  Having rock solid, impenetrable and unmovable boundaries yourself ..... and knowing exactly what they are..... (not needing more of them........) is what is required to successfully navigate this kind of situation.  Again....IMHO:)   J
    >>> on Forum topic - He sucks the my joy of giving right out of me

  • by: JJamieson - 2 days 6 hours ago
    where nothing makes sense anymore?  How about....playing by a different set of rules that are constantly changing but there never seems to be any explanation or rule book to follow in the first place?  (and none given when you ask....only angry defense and projection.  How dare you...right?  This the part about never committing to anything so you will never know yourself and they can control any situation and never appear as wrong if questioned about)  How about....in every case....there seems to be a...
    >>> on Forum topic - He sucks the my joy of giving right out of me

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