Recent Comments

  • by: Standing - 1 min 6 sec ago
    Alot of what I think of as issues of character seems to fall under the category of what are now known as Personality Disorders. http://counsellingresource.com/lib/therapy/self-help/understanding/ Way back in 1835, a doctor called it Moral Insanity. i think the Bible uses the term reprobate. That link gives plenty of very clear info.
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD is getting a bad rap...

  • by: CrystalBlueSunshine - 4 min 41 sec ago
    Hi Swan; Yes. I am familiar with everything you posted plus more. In my case my ADD husband has not gotten better he has gotten worse despite counseling and medication. I used to think I had a bad marriage, a lazy man, an inconsiderate jerk, but now I know it's the disease but it does NOT change the way I feel, the health problems I have now, and the nightmare I live day in and day out.  I don't think my husband cares at all or he is taking me and the children for granted and assumes that because I have...
    >>> on Forum topic - Where to start?

  • by: Standing - 34 min 11 sec ago
    Up until this past year, i did not even have it in me to so much as disagree with him. I was a pretty sad case of Conflict Terror. I was listening so intently to his words, trying to understand... I said to him, Really? You have been kowtowing? I wanted to know how he felt that he had been so subserviant. My 18.yo son has since set me straight. He says, Mom, he doesn't believe any of that crap he says, he just tosses it out there to see if you will pick it up.
    >>> on Forum topic - Kowtow

  • by: CrystalBlueSunshine - 38 min 31 sec ago
    Hello; As the roommate and slave (wife) of an ADD man I totally understand where your wife is coming from. I understand the rage. Having said that I applaud you for taking all the right steps to manage your ADD. My husband will do nothing to better himself, refuses to help with anything, and I suspect he is off his meds and off them for a long time. I know it's been a long time since your post but I want to say that I believe your wife is behaving this way because she is utterly depleted and at the end of...
    >>> on Forum topic - My wife hates me. I feel hopeless and depressed. I don't know what to do...

  • by: c ur self - 40 min 52 sec ago
    "There won't be any more kowtowing around here."  Did you say: I know it...with a big smile on your face as you walked away? Or maybe you would have been like me...and went and goggled it...lol...
    >>> on Forum topic - Kowtow

  • by: jackrungh - 47 min 21 sec ago
    We just moved to a new area and it has disrupted essentially all of our routines. Included among these are my trips on one or both weekend days to the gym. With free child care it was a good way to give my wife a house with zero kids in it for a few hours and give myself some exercise. It is amazing how much of a reprieve it was for my wife to not have to think about kids for a whole 2 hours. I think she mostly shopped on Amazon and took naps. I'd typically do an hour or so on some kind of elliptical...
    >>> on Forum topic - Does aging change ADD?

  • by: jackrungh - 1 hour 15 min ago
    Calling it quits on Adderall at least until this subsides. I just feel extremely out of sorts. I had an evening implementation for work last night and got to bed after midnight, which is unusually late these days. I should have fallen asleep handily but just stared at the ceiling with my mind churning intensively. I tried several times to clear my head and get some rest but could not. It should be noted that I have never strongly identified with the ADHD characteristic of racing thoughts. There are...
    >>> on Forum topic - Medication When Stimulants Fail, SPECT

  • by: lizkirbs10 - 1 hour 20 min ago
    In response to Et (should i leave my ADHD boyfriend?)   if my husband didn't have a daughter, if we would've met and he was childless, i honestly think we would've made it a good 5-6 months before i would've called it quits. There was a lot of other stuff going on at that time, beyond the ADHD, he was doing a lot of flirting online and by text message...i saw some really upsetting text messages on his phone and was thisclose to ending it then and there, but then his daughter's face entered my mind, what...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: I'm So Exhausted - 2 hours 8 min ago
    swanr1, I am not sure I can give you answers or solutions, but I can share with you my experience with the things you shared that resemble my own life experience with a spouse with ADHD. he lies because the truth would make me mad  In my life, my spouse didn't communicate stuff to me - because he didn't want deal with my response.  Or as he said, "I didn't want to make you mad."To me it felt very controlling.  To him, I think it was a protective action. Avoid stuff like the dickens! He's very short...
    >>> on Forum topic - Where to start?

  • by: Lonely Lexi - 2 hours 22 min ago
    I feel like everyone on this post. I feel all your pain, sadness, frustration anger, bitterness and hopelessness. It's amazing how many people post on this forum each day about almost identical experiences. Like we could be writing each other's stories to some extent. I put off having kids because I was waiting for my spouse to grow up and be more responsible and reliable. I waited too long and now I'll never have children because I already have one - her. We are going to the ADD counselor tomorrow at my...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Rosered - 3 hours 3 min ago
    "It's easier to tell yourself a lie than face up to the truth and actually do something about it." My husband's existence in a nutshell.  
    >>> on Forum topic - So tired of the constant ideas from H but him never ever following through on them!

  • by: redhead1017 - 3 hours 27 min ago
    Constant stream of ideas. I just nod and say "oh wow" or "that sounds great" and then don't bring it up. I spent decades researching crap for him because I thought this meant he was showing initiative; nope, it's just a symptom of ADHD.  And he also does the thing where everything is HIS idea, or he could do it better. Here's just a few examples: He actually sent a letter to Bill Gates telling him that he could run his company for him - this from a guy who's been unemployed most of the last 20  years and...
    >>> on Forum topic - So tired of the constant ideas from H but him never ever following through on them!

  • by: lizkirbs10 - 3 hours 28 min ago
    I appreciate all the encouragement I have gotten from my post. It's 4 months later, and we are still dealing with a lot of the same issues. I don't know if I've just numbed myself to it or just learned to lower my expectations or what the deal is...but I seem to be in an ok place in accepting this as my life, at least for right now. I am nowhere near perfect, I have battled depression and anxiety for the past 10 years of my life, at one point I was given a PTSD diagnosis from a past abusive relationship...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: jackrungh - 3 hours 41 min ago
    Work... Oh right, I've procrastinated on this forum on a Friday and now there is a pile of work to get done before COB. How interesting that I've built a mountain of obligations that I now get to tear through in a fury. Almost like the only way I can amass the will to get it anything done is by generating a challenge or manufacturing a crisis. And adhdmarriage.com is now fuel for the symptoms. The unhealthening is complete.
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: JJamieson - 3 hours 48 min ago
    actions and behaviors=global consciousness and awareness = communal consciousness and awareness = friends consciousness and awareness = familial consciousness and awareness = intimate partner consciousness and awareness .....which requires enlightened self conscience=social responsibility and accountability=personal reasonability and accountability=authenticity=openness=vulnerability=integrity=integration and awareness of conscience and subconsciense thoughts= spiritual awareness=====self Somewhere in...
    >>> on Forum topic - Could ADD Trigger or Cause COMORBID NARCISSISM?

  • by: jackrungh - 3 hours 59 min ago
    A forum online for support with ADHD in the context of marriage. ADHD people have trouble with mindfulness to even sometimes see there is a problem. It makes sense that it is mostly populated with the half of the ADHD-impacted marriage that is more likely to see a problem and follow through on reaching out for support. A community that self-selects for a certain side of an experience ensures a dominant narrative. There isn't anything wrong with that. I've interpreted this site as a safe space for non-ADHD...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: lauren07 - 4 hours 4 min ago
    So spot on! I will right back fully after work;) I will say that I am in a place in my life where I can date someone with serious flaws and quirks because I will not ever be living with them or having children with them. As long as there is happiness, I can handle flaws. There were far too many problems with my marriage. 
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: c ur self - 4 hours 33 min ago
    Well said...:)
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD is getting a bad rap...

  • by: c ur self - 4 hours 40 min ago
    I can only use myself and my marriage as an example... The more my focus got on her behaviors, the more it dominated my thoughts. The more of a "larger than life effect it had on me". Which the fruit of was bitterness, motive assigning, and enablement, I became the good one, the sound thinker, the responsible one. I used her ADD lifestyle as my mask. I become more and more blind to how I spoke, and how I acted...It was all intentional and you could not tell me any different, nor was I capable of seeing it...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD is getting a bad rap...

  • by: jackrungh - 4 hours 45 min ago
    That chemistry is powerful. My wife and I knew each other online platonically for a few years and met up with no intention of being romantic (no, not even an unspoken wonder about what might happen). It was platonic for a week or so of having fun together; we even had a legitimately awkwardness-free dinner one night with a guy she was seeing at the time. But if you have that thing when you look in one anothers' eyes and there is a knowingness to the look, it is just a matter of time. I remember it as a 4...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

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