Recent Comments

  • by: dragonfly99 - 3 hours 8 min ago
    Maybe you aren't just ADHD. There are other disorders that can coexist and if not treated can affect you too even with ADHD meds. Sometimes you need medication for that too. Bipolar, OCD, depression and other mental health conditions can interfere with treatment. You might want to go back and talk to the doctor that diagnosed you about your concerns. Support groups are a good tool for finding good mental health providers and a lot of good advice. inwish you luck in your future.
    >>> on Blog entry - Feeling Ignored - The Non-ADHD Spouse Dilemna

  • by: dragonfly99 - 3 hours 17 min ago
    Has your wife been diagnosed? If she went to a psychiatrist would you go with her and talk to the doctor? Would you support her in therapy? Do you still love her? I ask these questions because I have all your wife's symptoms and have been married to a wonderful man for 22 years. I never in a million years suspected could have ADHD until my granddaughters were diagnosed and they act just like I did at their age. I wasn't diagnosed as a child because Back in the 1960s They didn't focus on girls. Iam going in...
    >>> on Blog entry - Feeling Ignored - The Non-ADHD Spouse Dilemna

  • by: dragonfly99 - 3 hours 27 min ago
    Has your wife been diagnosed? If she went to a psychiatrist would you go with her and talk to the doctor? Would you support her in therapy? Do you still love her? I ask these questions because I have all your wife's symptoms and have been married to a wonderful man for 22 years. I never in a million years suspected could have ADHD until my granddaughters were diagnosed and they act just like I did at their age. I wasn't diagnosed as a child because Back in the 1960s They didn't focus on girls. Iam going in...
    >>> on Blog entry - Feeling Ignored - The Non-ADHD Spouse Dilemna

  • by: TTT - 8 hours 32 min ago
    Liz, I know this won't help, but reading your post, it's like you're reading my mind.  I'm just so envious of the easy relationships I see in other couples.  My husband actually tells me that those couples are all acting, that they're fair tales, I'm exhausted just thinking about spending the rest of my life walking on eggshells knowing that even when we're not fighting , that the good times will be converted into something ugly at a later time during a fight.  My friends say to "work it out", but they...
    >>> on Forum topic - Boundaries and learning to not be controlled by anger

  • by: TTT - 8 hours 42 min ago
    I came to that place where I reluctantly said I couldn't be this angry, I had to let go.  Not putting up with it, refusing to "admit" all the crap that he accused me of feeling, thinking, saying, doing, improved my self esteem and I felt better about me, but I just finally said we had to end it.  And it was horrible, he was fine with it.  Then he went back into hyperfocus, and I slipped right back into idiot mode where I thought he'd realized he was losing me, and finally, after 23 years, was going to...
    >>> on Forum topic - Boundaries and learning to not be controlled by anger

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 8 hours 54 min ago
    >>>> he kept saying that his ex-wife was just an angry person and that she treated him like a child and that she criticized him all the time - towards the end I started questioning that more - was she always angry or did that worsen as time went on? Because frankly I was starting to identify with her). >>>>> I bet if my H and I ever divorced, he would use similar words to describe me....."treated him like child" and "criticiaing him all the time." Because when you're married...
    >>> on Forum topic - Does this sound like ADHD?

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 9 hours 2 min ago
    Your wife may have ADHD, but likely it is something else that is causing that behavior.  That isn't ADHD behavior, that is something else.   Always tense and bitchy?    Moody?    Gets angry easily?   Could be:  personality disorder?   anxiety disorder?  depression?   Bi-Polar?    
    >>> on Forum topic - Young couple with ADHD wife!!

  • by: First Mate - 9 hours 4 min ago
    True narcissists are predators and ADHD women with self-esteem issues seem to be a natural target.  The pain and suffering inflicted on me by my ex-spouse of nearly 23 years pales to any challenges that I've confronted from ADHD.  I felt like I emerged from a walking coma, only to face a long rehabilitation from the damage to my heart and soul. when he left three years ago, destroying me financially and alienating my son from me.  He has since remarried (another victim) who believes the stories about his...
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! Am I being Emotionally/psychologically abused???

  • by: Bsanchez - 11 hours 32 min ago
    What if my wife is blind to see that her actions really have an impact on a lot around her? What if it's put out to her with a very calm way and she still doesn't see/think anythings wrong? What if it's always "my" fault? 
    >>> on Blog entry - 9 Tips for When Non-ADHD Spouses Just Can’t Cope Anymore

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 13 hours 55 min ago
    The person likely has MORE than just ADHD....so you need to start with that premise.   "Every few days there is a row.  I feel that I can not win." "If I don't agree, he gets cross" "It is like I am going out with two people."      This is sounding like more than just ADHD.      As someone who has been married awhile to someone like that, I can almost assure that it isn't just ADHD.   My H has:  ADHD, some OCD, anger mgmt issues, depression, insecurity, anxiety, and (according to his therapist)...
    >>> on Forum topic - How to avoid arguments or argue in a more healthy fashion

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 14 hours 51 min ago
    While the drinking probably made things worse, there likely is an underlying problem existing prior to becoming an alcoholic.  That can be why things are still "bad".      He may have ADHD, and he may have a combo with one or more of the following:  depression, anxiety, NPD, BPD, or some other PD.
    >>> on Forum topic - New here

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 14 hours 51 min ago
    While the drinking probably made things worse, there likely is an underlying problem existing prior to becoming an alcoholic.  That can be why things are still "bad".      He may have ADHD, and he may have a combo with one or more of the following:  depression, anxiety, NPD, BPD, or some other PD.
    >>> on Forum topic - New here

  • by: Rosered - 19 hours 28 min ago
    Twilight Zone moment of the day:  telling my sister-in-law that I'd appreciate her telling me if her husband said anything about his trip to see his parents (my in-laws) and my husband, who is their caregiver, because my husband never communicates with me and thus I've gotten the message that he doesn't want to be bothered by or with me.  
    >>> on Forum topic - ***THE SLUG BOX *** THREAD - PART 2 - drop off your slugs here

  • by: OCDvsADD - 21 hours 5 min ago
    I understand your point, and how that can change the relationship to reduce conflict unless the partner in question feels that by changing that expectation you just turned condescending.  How can you go about it without falling into a patronizing attitude of not asking your partner for certain things, trying to take some responsibilities away from them, and making sure that when you speak with them you use simpler language and shorter sentences?  In another blog in this site someone wrote something along...
    >>> on Blog entry - Do You Have the Right Mindset for an ADHD Relationship?

  • by: Louisa - 21 hours 44 min ago
    Hello! I have been on this site for many times and now decided to register after seeing Mapper's story. Like so many other times after I've read the wives' stories about their ADHD-husbands, my reaction is pretty much: Hold on, have you been to my living room??? That is a spitting image of my conversation with my husband!! Well...as long as you can call them conversations..he is on Concerta and when and if he won't take it in the morning (happens a lot, just out of stubborness, he says the drug does not...
    >>> on Forum topic - Came home to an angry husband last night and everything I did upset him!

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 23 hours 19 min ago
    I have found that some ADHD people just refuse to cook.  They hate the time and steps that it takes to cook.   My H and his mom rarely ever cook (both ADHD).  They hate the time and steps and clean up.  They would rather just grab something ready-made or nearly ready-made.  I   I think that they can't stand the time that cooking and food prep take away from what they WANT to be doing.   Cook for yourself and let him fend for himself.     When we got married, H told me, "if you cook, then I'll do...
    >>> on Forum topic - How to divy up the chores

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 23 hours 25 min ago
    If you "take turns" cooking, but he doesn't do "his turn", then every time he doesn't cook, then the next meal you cook only for yourself....don't leave any  leftovers.
    >>> on Forum topic - How to divy up the chores

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 1 day 38 min ago
    What you're describing is the "walking on eggshells" that many of us have to do when dealing with someone who has some kind of issue....not just ADHD. Likely there is also depression, maybe addiction, anxiety, personality disorder, etc.   I have FREQUENTLY been in your shoes. when people say that it takes two to fight, they're WRONG. With these types of people, they can have a fight all by themselves. All you were doing is BREATHING.   We all know that if you hadn't "been in his way" he would have...
    >>> on Forum topic - Came home to an angry husband last night and everything I did upset him!

  • by: OverwhelmedWife - 1 day 8 hours ago
    But does it ever cross an ADHD mind that if they're not nice, then people aren't going to think/say nice things about them?   At this point, H has no friends.  Two of his last friends have recently "told him off".....for whining, complaining, and blaming others.   So, now he has no friends. 
    >>> on Forum topic - My H wanted me to see a therapist, now he's upset!

  • by: cmosher51 - 1 day 10 hours ago
    I know that I need to just not react because that is what he wants me to do.  I have to get the locks changed tomorrow.  The scary thing is that you and I can see what he is doing but he honestly thinks he can say things like that and no one would notice what is going on.  Like I am sure she just called him up out of the blue.  She has been calling him and cussing him and now all of a sudden, the day after he leaves me, she calls and is being nice.  Right.  See, I have told him a 1000 times that I am not...
    >>> on Forum topic - Marriage at an end

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