Recent Comments

  • by: fullmoon2 - 17 min 11 sec ago
    Thank you for taking the time to read my post and answering. I'm in the process of taking those first steps towards moving on. I must say it's very difficult to let go of the person you love, I miss him every single day, but I'll get there eventually. Once again thanks for your response.
    >>> on Forum topic - Is he really my friend? Or does his ADHD make it seem like he's not?

  • by: dweeb - 30 min 22 sec ago
    Thank you for your support. I'm so desperate for it. My husband asked me to cancel his appt. he told me he'd rather not deal with anymore feelings than he has to at this point. So sadly he will not be attending. I'm so sorry you are experiencing feelings similar to mine at this time. It truly is a miserable, lonely, unrewarding feeling (and task). This moment it is also a daunting one. However, our empathy becomes the enabler which in turn is a vicious circle. My husband is willing to be accountable, but...
    >>> on Forum topic - The cross-roads: leave my husband, or stay......

  • by: c ur self - 8 hours 39 min ago
    You know when the irresponsible can't play their game anymore, when they are forced into accountability they look to strike back out of bitter desperation...I wouldn't put to much stock in what he is saying right now...If he is in love w/you and his child...Later, he will have plenty of pain and regret...Even if his pride never lets him admit it to you...  
    >>> on Forum topic - The cross-roads: leave my husband, or stay......

  • by: Standing - 19 hours 34 sec ago
    I am so sorry, Dweeb, I know how this has felt for me and it is simply a miserable experience. You and I can only imagine how terrified he may be of facing his issues. For years, I allowed my own empathy for my husband to stand in the way of requiring accountability. Same thing happened here. The closer he got to his evaluation appointment, the nastier his behavior, but he did follow through. It was afterward, when we had the diagnosis of npd and he refused to pursue necessary changes in meds, ongoing...
    >>> on Forum topic - The cross-roads: leave my husband, or stay......

  • by: dweeb - 19 hours 16 min ago
    Dear why, are you ok? You erased all your posts! I'm thinking of you...
    >>> on Forum topic - :(

  • by: dweeb - 19 hours 19 min ago
    Thanks for your post. I agree with it completely.  I also believe he needs counseling. His first appt was to be this Thursday. I doubt he'll go. Yesterday he decided to get a divorce.   I'm sure this is for the best but I'm numb. Thank you for your prayers. 
    >>> on Forum topic - The cross-roads: leave my husband, or stay......

  • by: dweeb - 19 hours 22 min ago
    Thank you for your post. I realized roughly 2 months ago that the boundaries I laid out couldn't be imaginary. That's when decided to fully commit to the idea of working on our relationship should he seek treatment. Reluctantly he agreed to go. His appt is this Thursday.    As this appt grew nearer he grew more resentful and bitter. Angry and depressed. His view on counseling is that it's for the weak. Yesterday all that anger and resentment came out. He's leaving. He's asked for a divorce.  He doesn't...
    >>> on Forum topic - The cross-roads: leave my husband, or stay......

  • by: c ur self - 22 hours 55 min ago
    I would guess based on this post that your husband seems to be suffering from very low self-esteem...His inability to follow through as so created in him a disconnect from reality (thus the lies and unfilled promises) He knows you have no respect for him because of it, so he continually makes you the target for his blame...I think he needs counseling. I do not know if he is a believer are not, but, God is a deliver....I can truly say I know what you are dealing with in many ways...So I will just pray for...
    >>> on Forum topic - The cross-roads: leave my husband, or stay......

  • by: dvance - 23 hours 38 min ago
      Run don't walk away from this man.  My ADHD husband has not cheated on me physically but there have been three women in the past two years that he has had a inappropriate connection with.  It won't stop.  They don't learn.  They are like monkeys after a shiny object--whatever is fun and feels good and catches their eye at any given moment--that is what they run towards.  In 20 years I cannot even tell you how much money has been wasted and how many hours have gone down the drain chasing whatever it is...
    >>> on Forum topic - Non-ADHD Partner cheated on twice. Will it happen again and again and again?

  • :{
    by: Standing - 1 day 21 hours ago
    I know that look. Dear Why, when someone is disordered, he behaves in a disorderly fashion. Trying to create order from the product of a disordered mind is futile. Your love for him does not change that fact of life. I cannot even count the number of times my counselor had to say this before it began to sink in to my reality:  Your mate cannot love you the way you want to be loved. He can not. No amount of dedication, self sacrifice, devotion, compromise, tenderness, compassion, and empathy can spark...
    >>> on Forum topic - :(

  • by: WhyDoesHeActLikeThis - 2 days 7 hours ago
    :(
    >>> on Forum topic - :(

  • by: WhyDoesHeActLikeThis - 2 days 7 hours ago
    :(
    >>> on Forum topic - :(

  • by: WhyDoesHeActLikeThis - 2 days 7 hours ago
    :(
    >>> on Forum topic - :(

  • by: WhyDoesHeActLikeThis - 2 days 7 hours ago
    :(
    >>> on Forum topic - :(

  • by: WhyDoesHeActLikeThis - 2 days 7 hours ago
    :(
    >>> on Forum topic - :(

  • by: sunlight - 2 days 15 hours ago
    awf, I'm sorry you haevn't received replies so far, maybe this response will bump your post up a little and others will chime in. I think the first thing that I would recommend is to live together first. You may not see the full impact of a close relationship on her day-to-day functioning otherwise. " From reading this forum I see that certain issues seem to be constant. Such as infidelity, lying, anger and communication" I have to take issue with this view, I am non-ADHD female with...
    >>> on Forum topic - Thinking about marrying a woman with ADHD

  • by: sunlight - 2 days 16 hours ago
    You've said a lot today and I haven't had much time but "He says his doctor asked him 'Why do you want to be medicated at home anyway?' which makes me really angry. Isn't his doctor the fucking expert? " Supposed to be. I see how you are stuck here because it seems this is the only doctor you have access to. Is that right? Given the choice I would dump him (the doctor, not the partner) on the strength of this alone. Yes, his ADHD permeates everything in his life and...
    >>> on Forum topic - :(

  • by: dweeb - 2 days 16 hours ago
    EverOptimistic, I've been with my husband for 2.5 years.  He neglects to see the reality of his add behaviours and refuses treatment of any sort.  The unattached, void, unemotional is my daily life.  He knows it a big burden on me to take on the load of the house, and taking care of my daughter, he understands it's unfair, but isn't able to do anything about it.  He tells me it's easier to lie to me (I DID the dishes!!), than to face the consequence of not doing it.  He knows we work on a cash system, but...
    >>> on Forum topic - Do They Tell You It's Over?

  • by: Standing - 2 days 19 hours ago
    The only way your situation can change is if he is willing to seek help/treatment and then to follow through with that treatment to learn new behaviors. When I reached that stage of exhaustion and hopelessness that it sounds like you're describing, I told my husband that he must get a full evaluation and treatment or I would separate from him. He got the evaluation, but not the treatment, because he decided it wasn't so bad to be diagnosed npd. I beg to differ. Anyhow, if you are going to draw a boundary...
    >>> on Forum topic - The cross-roads: leave my husband, or stay......

  • by: dweeb - 2 days 19 hours ago
    dedelighted4, I just posted the link to that article to someone else, so it's still on my computer.  The link referenced above is this one: http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/men-adhd-who-arent-convinced-it-matters  
    >>> on Forum topic - :(

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