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Welcome to "ADHD and Marriage"

Helping adults thrive in relationships impacted by ADHD
Dr. Edward Hallowell and Melissa Orlov blog about marriage when one or both spouses has ADHD. What is it like? What are common themes in marriages with ADHD? What strategies can be used to improve these relationships? How can struggling couples get their marriages back on track so both partners can thrive?

New Here? Is This Site Right for You? READ THIS!

You may have ADHD, or you may be married to someone with ADHD and wondering whether it may be affecting your relationship.  This site can help you learn much more BUT PLEASE READ THIS before you explore for the first time!  Let me introduce you to what’s here. >>> Read more >>>

Now, get two free chapters of The ADHD Effect on Marriage when you register for this site! (Register here)

Part 4 - ADHD Spouses and Their Diligence

I often say that though people are quick to label those with ADHD as “lazy” because they often have trouble following up on commitments, my experience is that almost everyone with whom I come into contact with ADHD is a VERY hard worker.  Some of that work (organizing the disorganized mind, for example) goes on inside, and so is hidden from view most of the time.  Diligence and a willingness to try, yet again, are traits that some non-ADHD spouses say they love about their ADHD partners: >>> Read more >>>

Part 3 - I Love My ADHD Spouse's Sense of Humor

When you have ADHD in your relationship it’s a great thing to be able to LAUGH!  And exactly that’s what a number of non-ADHD spouses say they love about their ADHD partner.  Here are some examples: >>> Read more >>>

What We Love Part 2 - The Generosity of Our ADHD Spouses

One of the things I love about my own spouse is his empathy, generosity and warmth.  Is this related to his ADHD?  I’m not sure, though I do observe that if they don’t have specific anger issues, many of ADHD spouses I work with have very generous spirits.  Sometimes they act on that generosity in a way that warms others…sometimes they don’t…which makes them pretty much like the non-ADHD around us.  Regardless, generosity of spirit, if you spouse possesses it, is something to celebrate.  Here is “what I love about my ADHD spouse >>> Read more >>>

ADHD Awareness Week: Celebrating the Strengths of Those with ADHD

As part of ADHD Awareness Week I’m writing a daily series about what partners say they love about their spouse with ADHD.  These are collected from participants in my current couples class, from those at this site, and from my own experience.  I hope you’ll join the conversation, or at least spend some time this week showing appreciation for the things you enjoy.  (We spend too much time thinking about the things we don’t enjoy!)  So, here’s “love letter” #1… >>> Read more >>>

ADHD Spouses: Step By Step Conflict Resolution

Once again, my husband and I are at odds over phones.  But how we’ve resolved it this time is illustrative of one good way to get past having legitimately conflicting objectives. The phone issue remains outstanding (for now) but I’m actually happy.  Years ago, in our “old relationship”, this situation would have caused a huge amount of conflict and pain.  Here’s how we now avoid that… >>> Read more >>>

Keeping ADHD Awareness Week Positive

October 16-22 is ADHD Awareness Week and I would like to post one great thing that you love about your own ADHD or your spouse's ADHD every day that week.  Even if you are unhappy with the way your relationship is currently going, there is likely at least ONE positive thing you can come up with!  I invite you to post the positives here and, like my mother used to say, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it!"  In any event, we all know that ADHD can be a pain but let's also remember there are some wonderful traits that are easy to fall in love with, too.

P.S.  I will also offer tips for couples that week, probably related to the posts.

ADHD Effect Kindle Version Now Available!

FINALLY I can announce that the e-book of The ADHD Effect on Marriage is up and ready for download at Amazon!!!  Soon (but not quite yet, I guess) it will be available for other e-book formats as well.  Yay! >>> Read more >>>