Anger, Frustration & ADHD

Some days you just don’t have the energy to cope with your partner’s ADHD symptoms any more.  What can you do?  Here are nine tips to help you survive… >>> Read more >>>

Ned Hallowell likes to talk about the "moral diagnosis" of ADHD - the idea that those with ADHD are lazy or ill-willed.  The 'moral diagnosis' was what people used to turn to when they didn't know as much about ADHD as we do now.  Yet the idea that an ADHD spouse is 'lazy' is amazingly persistent.  How to get at that?  I've often said that in general, people with ADHD are some of the hardest working folks I know - its just that you can't always see the work because much of it is going on inside them.  Their minds are working away, really hard, even as they might come across as "lazy" because they have trouble completing (and sometimes even starting!) tasks.  Now researchers confirm that extra effort going on inside the ADHD person's head.  MRI studies show that the area of the brain that orchestrate mental activity is more active for adults with ADHD than for those without. >>> Read more >>>

Every once in a while there is a forum discussion happening that is so relevant for so many readers that I note it in my blog and direct people to it.  We have one going on right now about anger and grief that I think is worth your time to read.  And I’ll add a few of my thoughts here: >>> Read more >>>

Sometimes we all need to eat crow – and right now the person who needs to do that is me.  I am deeply embarrassed, one could say mortified, that I published that Simora is the same person as Red Haired Witch, Miss Behavin, Crazy Dave, Rene and Annoyedatlies.  However, she isn’t that person (the other user names are, indeed, all the same person, but they are not Simora). >>> Read more >>>

There is some conversation going on right now in the forums questioning whether it is appropriate to make generalizations about people with ADHD.  One person suggests this is insulting or hurtful to group those with ADHD together.  Another poster asks:  ‘if "they" (people with ADHD) are all so completely different, why do we keep hearing the same behaviors (forgetting, interrupting, not handling money well, etc.) coming up over and over?’  I would like to respond to this question in the blog, rather than in the forums. >>> Read more >>>

One of the things that I have heard and seen time and time again from many people with ADHD is that there's no point in their trying to meet expectations, because they will always fail. My ADHD husband used to frequently tell me this.  And I understand the feeling.  I've been through that experience myself, even though I don't have ADHD.  I have felt the despair and the sense of just being completely beaten down by what other people do with ease.
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My new book is about to be released, and it contains a significant section on overcoming “obstacle emotions” that keep you from improving your relationship (anger, fear, denial and hopelessness).  I’ve reprinted a very small portion of that section here for those who feel mired in anger.  This section is about the “myths” I sometimes hear people fall victim to about the “usefulness” or justification for their anger.

Six Dangerous Myths About Anger and ADHD >>> Read more >>>