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by: heycanusmile -
Thank you for the reply and link - I appreciate it. I didn’t ever hear this acronym before but after reading the article - I am interpreting this as the same as being “emotionally immature” - Am I correct with that or misinterpreting the article? I suppose I should look up articles that help me understand how I am to cope with someone who has been diagnosed with RSD because I definitely struggle. I feel like when I experience this - first I take it personally, which makes me feel like a horrible...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD spouse venting
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by: Off the roller ... -
It's incredible the amount of support he's now created for himself...all while our marriage crashes and burns. I guess though, I need to be a bit kinder to myself and him - it's not like I'm pursuing him about our marriage repeatedly. I've just kinda sunk into a pattern of telling myself it won't matter anyways so what's the point...then being mad at myself for not saying anything. But the irony of your question is that he is currently seeing one of the best psychiatrists in the county (...>>> on Forum topic - Next steps
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by: heycanusmile -
Thanks for your reply…this is the first time I’m hearing the words “emotional dysregulation” - which I assume is or similar to the other term I read about on this forum - called RSD. He is on medication, but struggles in remembering/wanting to take it or getting refills in a timely manner. Despite my efforts over the yrs in setting up reminders…he gets very irritated with me for doing so - reminders on his phone, notes, or hearing me ask him directly - none of the which are effective in his mind. I...>>> on Forum topic - Jekyll and Hyde
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by: N4ally2 -
While your partner is diagnosed, it sounds to me he is not on medication. If that is the case, I suspect emotional dysregulation has a hand in the "split personality". On the right medication, it could really help ADHD partner normalize the emotional dysregulation. With that said, I highly recommend your partner seek out a medical professional to get an assessment. I could you from my experience, when my adhd partner decides to skip medication for a few days, he is more irritable. Once I asked him to...>>> on Forum topic - Jekyll and Hyde
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by: ForumModerator -
Here was a post that Melissa posted on what is RSD. Hope it helps. Thanks for asking the question.>>> on Forum topic - ADHD spouse venting
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by: Swedish coast -
If one is attached emotionally to the partner, has invested heavily in them, and one is also willing and able to do the work, it doesn’t make sense to give up on the relationship, does it? Only one partner putting in effort isn’t enough to turn a destructive marriage around. I need to this day to convince myself there’s no future to the love I feel for my ex. It’s homeless, because a relationship with him is hopeless. But since I have the motivation, the muscle power and imagination to...>>> on Forum topic - Next steps
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by: NorthCountryBoy -
Is your husband currently receiving any kind of treatment for his ADHD? If not, I think you have an opening to not "just leave" but to offer the choice to pursue treatment or pursue life on his own apart from you.>>> on Forum topic - Next steps
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by: Off the roller ... -
Yeah I'd love to escape this unharmed but we both know that probably won't happen. It's just a big Choose-your-hard game, isn't it? I actually want to choose the hard thatbrequires the work but I have no idea how to choose it. Its like my spouse has this spidey sense that when I've hit what feels like a breaking point, he has this knack of actually accomplishing or completing or even addressing a particular task or logistic or topic (nothing too intimate bc we stopped talking about anything...>>> on Forum topic - Next steps
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by: Swedish coast -
I’m so sorry Off the Roller. This sounds like your husband has sunk deep into depression and/or anxiety. It’s insanely upsetting for the partner. You mention you’ve tried to work together with him and he’s unresponsive. My ex was also practically bedridden by the end of our marriage. Filled with shame presumably, feeling hopeless. It wasn’t with pleasure I found out our divorce brought him out of this rut. But it was a fact. Two years after divorce he’s increased his part time work...>>> on Forum topic - Next steps
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by: heycanusmile -
What is RSD?>>> on Forum topic - ADHD spouse venting
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by: heycanusmile -
I was reading this thread from 2012 - and I felt like I was the one who typed the question posted by “Runner” - I’ve been married to a man for approx 15 yrs and although he was diagnosed with ADHD after meeting w/him I am so perplexed by what I often refer this “split personality” Jekyll and Hyde…I never know what and when will make it occur, but it’s exhausting. Could this be part of something else or is this typical with a person who has ADHD? Thoughts?>>> on Forum topic - Jekyll and Hyde
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by: pr05t1tut3 -
Do you put away your electronics (i.e. cellphone)? Is it purposefully done or not? Do you have "family discussion" time (all members present)? Interactive & being "present" mentally helps. Is your "spend time with family" just doing chores or talking (contribute negatively or positively to discussion)? Is your partner suffering from post-partum or depression? (Taking time is considered self-care.) Is set strict bedtime for school, daycare, or work? Depending on where you're...>>> on Forum topic - Am I the bad person?
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by: pr05t1tut3 -
I was once told by a stranger that my child likes the process. As a problem-solver, it hit me that my child doesn't care about the end result. I ended up coming to terms with myself: I'll just sit on the side as I watch him make his own decisions since he's a person (different from me). If "the process" & not "end result" is a symptom of adhd, I'm sorry. It's a lifetime.>>> on Forum topic - Taking The Long Way Around
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by: NorthCountryBoy -
Accidental double reply.>>> on Forum topic - ADD inability of communicating boundaries
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by: NorthCountryBoy -
"When the marriage ended, he told me he’d never been able to stand up for himself with me." I'm not sure if it's a universal experience for people with ADHD, but as someone with ADHD, I know I've often felt this way. ADHD symptoms make it very difficult to feel confident in identifying and communicating boundaries because if you as a person with ADHD are aware of the symptoms, then you're aware of how they condition your experience. For example, if I suddenly feel a rush of rage at...>>> on Forum topic - ADD inability of communicating boundaries
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by: NorthCountryBoy -
"Why doesn’t anyone give these kinds of people tools rather than a pill to help them uncover healthy ways to express themselves or how to respond to crying etc!? It’s infuriating that ADHD has become an excuse rather than something that they should be actively working on." "They" do. As an ADHD spouse who has been diagnosed, medicated, and is attending regular therapy sessions, I can attest that therapists with a specialty or extensive experience with ADHD can and will work with clients to...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD as an Excuse
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by: c ur self -
This doesn't pertain to all ADD minds I've encountered, but it seems to be a common theme with many high level ADDers.... The inability to feel, remember, own, recall, see themselves...The reason many of us non's have lived for years in the same mind you are asking why about, is because we can't accept what we can't comprehend...Our hearts and brains feel, remember, own, recall, see ourselves...It took me years to understand these things are missing in her brain and heart... Why do you...>>> on Forum topic - ADD inability of communicating boundaries
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by: Swedish coast -
When I pointed out the ways he’d finally trampled all over my boundaries, he struggled to comprehend. I still don’t think he knows why I want minimum contact at this point. He struggles to understand there is still a relationship (co-parenting, needing trust, decency, accountability) between us even though the romantic relationship is over. It seems he couldn’t at the time of divorce realize the violent way he treated me would wreck that relationship, and there would be consequences affecting his...>>> on Forum topic - ADD inability of communicating boundaries
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by: Off the roller ... -
That sounds so tough - a lot of us have been there too: when the partner finds a way to cope but it's not something that is beneficial or healthy and ultimately does more damage than helps. It's so tough. Is marajuana use a hard no/boundary for you? Like a deal breaker? It might be the way to start in seeing how u feel about this but if its a deal breaker, this might be your way out or at least a boundary set that it can't happen or you will need to leave. Just a thought but I don't know ur own...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD and drug use
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by: exhausted58 -
I’m exhausted. Anything I bring to my fiancé that bothers me, he responds immediately with justification, denial, anger and turns it back on me. To keep peace I have to ignore what he does that hurts me. He tells me “I don’t know why you want to argue”. I’m sure he’s adhd. He says he hates labels. He undiagnosed and unmedicated. If we marry I’ll be his 7th wife. I’m exhausted.>>> on Forum topic - How do you deal with the constant disappointment?
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