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i love my partner very much and for the last 7 years his ADHD has just gonnen to a new level that i want to scream i work and look after the house and look after him and our furkids but sometimes i just feel like im a cleaner house wife and everything else our conversations are so confussing we will talk about onething and before i even know it he is on 20 different subjects and i find if i dont say the right thing or i dont know it ends in this big fight im really trying to understand ADHD and im trying to find ways to communicate better but im just not getting anywhere please help me
Comments
He should seek help
I’m sorry you feel burned out by your partner’s ADHD symptoms.
It does sound like there is little you on your part can do to change this. He needs to find whatever resources available to treat his symptoms.
In your place, I’d firmly suggest he addresses his issues. Melissa’s resources are useful for relationship work, if he’ll accept them. Meanwhile, please try to find things outside of the relationship to keep you buoyant. Friends and activities away from home were my best life savers.
Same boat
Your post resonates with me so much. I feel for you. You're not alone! I'm 20+ years into my relationship and my partner's symptoms have also gotten more pronounced as the years went by, probably the last 5. I feel like I carry most of the load at home with the kids and pets, while also working. Now I'm at the same point as you where want to just scream also.
I agree with Swedish Coast. There isn't much you can do. He has to be aware of his symptoms and how they affect your relationship. If he sees no problem with his communication or behavior, nothing will change.
You can read the books, connect with a therapist to get some solutions to improve your conversations, or try to explain to your partner how the communication style differences affect you. Hopefully he will be open to working with you to improve the communication in the relationship.