In this post, Melissa writes about: the gap between the amazing relationship you thought you were signing up for, and the relationship you actually got with adult ADHD in the mix; why it’s so important to grieve about the loss of your romantic dreams; and how to do it.
A struggling couple asks what ADHD has to do with one man's quick rages. His partner writes 'He can be a lovely person but it doesn't take much to make him snap , in particular with me.' Alcohol makes it worse. Melissa explores what could be going on, how it's related to ADHD, and how to respond.
Does the ADHD partner in your relationship become defensive, offer excuses and deny wrongdoing when legitimate grievances are raised? Here are some reasons why this could be happening and some tips on how they can be addressed.
I cannot tell you how often I have had a non-ADHD partner contact me and say something such as “I have a partner with ADHD who is also a narcissist.” Though your partner seems self-absorbed, it is likely not narcissism, and with the right approach it usually CAN be addressed within your relationship.
Trying to avoid feelings of shame is only human, but when it comes to adult ADHD, gentle engagement with raw areas can lead to significant gains. But how to do that, when shame feels so bad? These ideas, provided by adults with ADHD, can help both ADHD partners and non-ADHD partners.