ADD/ADHD and the reality of cutting things out of their lives....

Many of us (me for sure) have leaned on the word denial, when it comes to our spouses choices, and living of life...But is it?...Is their choices denial, or just adult choices? Is your choices denial? Are do you own your choices, and behaviors in life?

My wife isn't blind to her choices, she isn't ignorant either...She is intelligent despite her high level add mind....

So why did I decide her refusal to openly communicate about her life choices (Things she pursue's, and the things she choose's to mostly ignore) is some how a mind of denial toward those responsibilities?

What I have come to realize is that a person can dislike (hate) responsibilities so bad, that they will choose to abandon them...I think this is what my wife does....All people have minds and spirits that work together to lead them (us) in our life choices. Some people just choose selfish paths, no matter the cost....I think this is why we have visits to this forum from time to time, where some husband or wife (usually husbands) has chose to pursue selfish pleasures, and ignore their family and spousal responsibilities, and the spouse has enough and dumps them...These people's posts usually are very similar...."How do I change her/his mind?....It's very seldom ownership of how they have abused their spouse....More times than not it's how can I keep my meal ticket, maid, house cleaner, sex partner etc....

It's never one spouse's job (responsibility) to remind the other about marital responsibilities.....My wife ( and I bet most of yours) has no problem remembering what she counts as a important life pursuit....

The things we do, like labeling these choices with words like denial...It's for us, not for them....It gives those of us who believe in putting time and energy into our responsibilities just another reason to stay in the relationship...Even though it's very one sided...Since I've stopped taking on the responsibility (and mothering) of being her reminder, it's amazing how much she remembers....

Maybe it's time we stop allowing ourselves (I know it is me)  to diagnose our spouse's, and don't make excuse's for their personal choices....

c