Submitted by Our Family Score on 12/20/2016.
With or without treatment, at what point do the behaviors modeled by a parent, with ADHD, negatively impact the development of their own kids? What is best for the child? Divorce with co-parenting or staying together and risk the exposure of learned helplessness?
I don't have an answer for
Submitted by Almost Done on
I don't have an answer for you. You aren't the only one who worries about this. Just last night I was looking at my daughter and wondering not only how does her parent's ADD affect her genetically, but what ADD behaviors are we modeling for her. Will it be that even if she doesn't have ADD she will act like she does because that is what she learned?
What is best?
Submitted by Our Family Score on
I am trying to teach my children about responsibility. How in the world can I hold them accountable when their father models the behavior that I'm trying correct in the children. Because he is their father I can't talk poorly about him to them. I'm parenting my kids, my husband, and using much of my energy trying to cover up his bad habits.
I refuse to have my children grow up with "Learned Behaviors" because those behaviors are consistent with ADHD.
So what's going to be more harmful to my children, growing up to take on the ADHD "role" or divorce?
duplicate post
Submitted by kellyj on
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I Know the Answer For Myself?
Submitted by kellyj on
This one is easy....coming from my own experience? Children are a lot smarter than you think? All the things that have been expressed here are speculating and forgetting one thing? Children and people in general....are going to do what ever they want to do and are free to choose no matter what? Everything bad that happened to me....came from my parents not listening to me or asking me what I wanted or was given the choice? I spent my entire childhood sneaking behind my parents back so I could do what I wanted anyway....I got really good at these skills: disobeyed my parents, lying, sneaking behind their backs....and ended up doing what I wanted anyway? No one ever stopped me from doing what I wanted which was the way it ended up no matter how hard my parents tried to stop me? The harder they tried....the better I got at sneaking, lying and disobeying. That's what I learned from my parents...and how....."not to be" as the lesson learned?
Those were the skills I learned and that's what you will teach them to by approaching it that way? The more restrictive my parents became and more they tried to think for me...the more I got punished for disobeying them...the better I got in those skills and the more passive aggressive I got.
So if I had any suggestions personally....is let them do fore themselves, think for themselves, and learn for themselves on their own? It doesn't matter what you do as a parent...( divorce or not )..it's not the example you give them to follow you.....it's the example to give them to teach them to follow themselves without you....better put? All you can do is teach them how.....and leave the rest up to them....they are a lot smarter than you are giving them credit for...and have a mind of their own?
What I learned the most from my parents example at the end of the day? How....NOT TO BE LIKE THEM......as my goal by approaching it that way saying....using parents as example to follow and doing it "our" way? The wrong way as I am saying this?
Who's this We? You got a turd in your pocket? As I use to say and sometimes, still do ;)
J