And we are back to our "regularly" scheduled program...

Those intense changes? Those ones I was so proud of for my H that he had accomplished over the past 3 weeks? Yeah... those... Another false start...

 

And we are now back to our regularly scheduled - NORMAL programming. Back to the chain smoking and videos. No more projects (even though there is a long list of things he hasnt done in ages). he hasnt done his pushups that he committed too (not to me - to someone else). He never went back up to his 20 minutes on the elliptical (at least he is doing 15 I think - which is GOOD). He did some weights yesterday - not sure what his routine is, or if he is just going on the fly which is what I assume.

 

But everything else? yeah... back to the same. I wanted to be proved wrong this time. And I dont think that is happening. Funny how much I WANT to be wrong - soooo very badly about so many things. The backyard is a mess from storms - today we have a small break in them so we will see if he steps up and cleans up. The back deck is a mess again, his nasty cigarettes and empty boxes, nothing straightened, just thrown everywhere...

 

Same shit different day and he doesnt see it. Took him 3 days to clean the counters even though there were nasty dead flies on it (I didnt say a word until i finally got grossed out and asked him if he planned on cleaning the counter like he said he would).

 

Soon - soon enough all will change. I hate that its all contingent on my sick dog - really messes me up to wish that I could just move forward, and knowing that means my dog will pass. When I DONT want that. I love that dog with my whole heart.