i recently uploaded a forum under another topic explaining that some people close to me dont fully grasp or undertstand my relationship with my partner who has ADHD... i am not married and am rather young however i love my partner very much.
in particular my mother has just begun to harrass/speak me about my boyfriend. she thinks he is very nice etc but says that I will never live a happy life with him. she makes presumptions such as he has will only ever have the emotional maturity of a 14 year old and offends me by saying that i am dellusional if i stay with him, its sad and so on. I have always been a very listening person and i tried very hard to take on her opinions that I cannot change but to expressed she isnt correct about everything ... she cant make assumptions and simply presume i am delusional etc...
i do realise she only wants what is best for me (keeping in mind she is still with her husband that abused her for a very long time) so i try to respect her and her opinions as much as possible but i need to do what I know. and know one knows your relationship like you do. However, it is making it hard for me since It makes me sad etc
she is only judging what she sees on the "outside" and making presumptions that she wont back down on for the rest of it. I dont really know what I am asking but i really want help and advice please....
Exactly what is your mother
Submitted by Karinda on
Exactly what is your mother worried about? What is your boyfriend do/doesn't do that make her doubt your relationship with him?
she makes a lot of
Submitted by girl1992 on
she makes a lot of assumptions like i mentioned but what i can see she is worried that
- He is too immature (yes he is a year or two less then his actual age and we work and that togehter) however she sees it as a MASSIVE issue.
- she says hes not the sort of person she imagined me with (probably someone extremely intellectually smart or possibly she may not 'understand' ADHD)
- i believe she sees him as dumb and yes he is a few years less, or even socially awkward at times but I dont see him as dumb and its unfair she labels him so
- she claims she knows him extremely! well because she sees him a lot but she has no idea what goes on in our relationship
there the only main things i can think of really. and i cant stress enough i try very hard to take on opinions but if i say yes i will take that on board etc thats not good enough
and she also claims he has
Submitted by girl1992 on
and she also claims he has nothing to offer me when really i think shes referring to a lot off money (my dad makes plenty of that dont know if that has anything to do with it) ... but other than that she doesnt really know what he does and doesnt have to offer emotionally or otherwise
Ok. Well, I am a mother of
Submitted by Karinda on
Ok. Well, I am a mother of two girls your age and I can to a degree understand her worries. That he won't be as reliable and supportive as a more mature person would be. But you know him best, and it is your life and decision to make. I give you the same advice as I give my daughters when they meet new boyfriends: follow your heart but try to be sensible, that is don't get married or have children together until you have tried living together for at least two years. That's the minimum time for finding out what your partner is really like, in all kinds of situations.
Best of luck!