Submitted by overwhelmedwife on 02/27/2016.
How long did you know/date your ADHD spouse before marrying?
And what red flags were present during the dating years?
unemployment?
underemployment?
unable to keep a job?
anger?
instability?
losing things?
immaturity?
relationship issues with others?
bad with money?
disorganized? messy?
other red flags?
My answers
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
I knew and dated my H for 18 months before marriage. We were engaged after 11 months, then married 7 months later.
In hindsight....The red flags were....
Didn't know some very basic "stuff" even though he was well educated.
made a high income, but had little savings. But he had no credit cards so he did pay his bills.
made a silly choice in car purchase....high interest rate, lots of car problems because the choice of car was known to have problems.
no filter...said some odd things to me early on.
Was rather clueless about his own family. Told me that none of his siblings would ever have any kids. lol...his parents now have 27 grandchildren. (how more clueless could he be about his own siblings?)
Didn't notice things around him. His roommate loved to joke about how he had planted a tree in the yard and my H mowed it down because my H never noticed the tree!?!
When he'd get upset, he was irrational.
Ha ha....OWW....we've all been there!!!
Submitted by c ur self on
Love is Blind...:) :)....It's amazing how hard I try to cover up my own insecurities, lack of patients and wisdom...It's amazing!!!!! Self-awareness may be the hardest, most painful thing a person will ever accomplish, but other than the free gift of Grace and eternal life, its the greatest gift I can ever receive.. if I'm truly ever able to get there....
The more I become a student of C ur self, and less a student of his wife....The better life gets....
C
I knew my husband for
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
I knew my husband for approximately 21 months before we got married. Red flags: he was extremely messy, to the extent that he only let me see his room once or twice. Somewhat self-centered: he pushed me to have sex before I felt ready, and he didn't tell his parents that we started living together before we got married. It was his idea for us to live together.
2 years
Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on
Our first date was March 6, 1982. We got engaged March 6, 1984. We married 6 months later in October of 1984.
Had no clue about ADHD. I felt he was my rescuer. I felt lucky. I had moved out of an alcoholic home, and was stuck in the middle of anorexia and bulimia.
Liz
2 years
Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on
Our first date was March 6, 1982. We got engaged March 6, 1984. We married 6 months later in October of 1984.
Had no clue about ADHD. I felt he was my rescuer. I felt lucky. I had moved out of an alcoholic home, and was stuck in the middle of anorexia and bulimia.
Liz