I recently wrote about how my husband had recently sought out an adhd diagnosis. Our marriage has been under huge strain for nearly a year. I have tried so hard to communicate how I feel and I am met with aggression anger ignoring and blame. He often puts his fingers in his ears whilst we are trying to talk as he calls it. He turns things around on me and just name calls and says I am the problem mentally unstable. The most recent one is that I am choosing to be unhappy that I like being miserable and angry. Tonight he asked me why we were living in a home where we don’t talk because he couldn’t take it anymore. The moment I tried to communicate he shut me down so I then just stay silent. I’m so tired with fighting I’ve spent the last two months almost mute. It all started when he went out to celebrate his birthday he didn’t come home for 18 hours and failed to communicate at all. I didn’t respond with anger I just simply told him I couldn’t understand how it’s possible to behave like this when I am his wife at home with our 3 young children. He minimised it and I clearly told him I wouldn’t make the effort anymore because I’m tired of his behaviour. Since then we’ve lived a surface level life.
Apologies for my rambling but tonight it’s blown up on his part and he’s told me he wants to “move on with his life and find someone else” mainly because I’m miserable and I’m making his life he’ll. I just feel lost I’ve spent 13 years putting my own personal life finances and happiness on hold and have been managing our whole lives as he isn’t able to because his adhd is off the scale. Do I go at this point I don’t see a way out. Sorry again for this I thought him seeking out diagnosis was a step forward in him taking accountability but it’s appears not.
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