I am 13 years married to my husband who has undiagnosed ADHD. We have 3 young children and I have always been happy to take on the traditional role of house wife and general home/life keeper so to speak. Some may find this strange but I stand by tradition roles. This year has been nothing short of hell. I have never really took the ADHD seriously but having tried countless different solutions to our marital problems I stumbled down the rabbit hole of how it affects marriage. It was like a lightbulb moment for me and confirmed all my feelings as the non ADHD spouse and a lot of traits my husband displays. This year I have figured that after 13 years of babies and marriage I have hit burn out well and truly. I want to support my husband and having discussed with a little difficulty as any ADHD person does with communication he has accepted and has put the wheels in motion to understand how I feel and get help for himself.
I want to help him and I do want our marriage to work but if anyone has any strategies that worked to make life easier around connection intimacy and communication I’d be grateful. I really struggle with his ability to be able to almost forget I exist at times and I personally do need a lot of intimacy and connection to feel loved (potential anxious attachment). Bombarding him with how he just forgets me or doesn’t show me love and affection doesn’t work as I’m sure many of you know so any tips would be helpful. The feeling of parent child dynamic is strong for me at the moment and I want that intimacy back I suppose
Apologises for the long rambled thoughts of my mind.
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