Encourage Love

ADHD & Marriage News - May 19, 2026

Quote of the Week

“I think everybody longs to be loved, and longs to know that he or she is lovable. Consequently, the greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they’re loved and capable of loving."

- Fred Rogers

Often the person who goes outside the marriage no longer felt loved or lovable and could see no way to change that. They may have tried to talk with their partner about their feelings and may have been shut down by vicious attacks and lack of empathy.

The intense fantasy and infatuation of the affair served to rebuild a sense of being lovable.

I’m not here to justify affairs – in fact I can say without a doubt that this is one of the worst possible things you can do to yourself and to your marriage. If you’re contemplating this, or feeling unlovable, seek couples counseling and get your feelings out. DON’T go the affair route.

But let me focus on the other side of Rogers’ quote, ‘the greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know they’re loved and capable of loving.’ Compassion, generosity of spirit, giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, encouraging them to love by example…these are the gifts you can give your partner and yourself. It can be hard to find this after years of struggle – particularly if your partner is regularly angry and/or hurtful.

But don’t give up. In interactions with your partner, ask yourself these questions – ‘how can I be kind?’ and ‘how can I show my partner s/he is loved?’

Seminars, Groups:

Intent to Action (i2a) Membership Program - (Registration Ongoing) - where couples stop feeling alone and start making real progress.

What's inside:
→ Live Expert-led Office Hours
→ Weekly Action Tips to keep you engaged
→ Workshops with tools that work
→ Book Clubs
→ Community Discussion Forum
→ Unlimited Video Replays

i2a delivers the strategies, expert support, and community that transform how ADHD-impacted couples communicate, collaborate, and connect. Learn more and sign up here!

Live ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - (Fall 2026) Is your relationship in trouble? Melissa and senior consultants help partners improve their lives together in this premier 9-session ZOOM seminar that has changed the lives of many, many couples impacted by ADHD. Mental Health Professionals, take $50 off and check out our Affiliates Program.

The Self-Study Seminar - (Ongoing) Move at your own pace. Includes materials & recordings from recent live seminar lessons and Q&As. 3 months of Office Hours to support your learning! Military and Mental Health Professional discounts.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group - (Fall 2026) - Join a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

ADHD Partner Support Group - (Fall 2026) Participants have space to speak honestly about what’s hard. Feel understood, connect with others who truly “get it” and gain valuable insight and advice.

Couples Support Group - (Fall 2026) - Seven sessions. 5 couples only will work with Internal Family Systems (IFS) master facilitator, Jason Weber, to understand what ‘parts’ of themselves are participating in the parent-child dynamics and learn how to compassionately move away from it.

Foundations in Habit Development - (Fall 2026) This special series is for ADHD partners who have completed The ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar. This two month program helps you solidify the changes you have started to make.

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group - (Ongoing) - Work with an ADHD expert who understand the issues faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. We STRONGLY recommend you also take the ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar

Therapist Training & more - (Ongoing) - For counselors, therapists, social workers, coaches, and other professionals who currently work with adults and couples impacted by ADHD, or who would like training to help improve their skills in this important therapeutic area.

Free Resources:

Is there hope? This video may help you answer that question:

Register for free marriage tips here! "Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."