On Equal Terms

ADHD & Marriage News - September 8, 2026

Quote of the Week

“All partnerships between people are mutually beneficial. They are all give and take. If they aren't give and take it's enslavement or war. I can't see any characteristics of the disorder ADHD that would render someone incapable of understanding the foundation of human relationships…"

- Poster with ADHD in the ADHDmarriage.com forum

On Equal Terms

Sometimes I hear ADHD people claim that they will never be a good partner because of their ADHD. This lack of hope and insight always saddens me, for the vast majority of adults with ADHD can manage that ADHD really well when they optimize their treatment. And then it becomes not about ADHD, but about partnership.

Parent/child dynamics can interfere in ADHD-impacted relationships making it impossible to be partners. But this isn’t about ADHD – it’s about ADHD AND responses to ADHD. It’s about misinterpretation of symptoms, and poor coping strategies being used by both partners. When full blown, parent/child interactions create both enslavement and war. Horrible!

Rebalancing the power in relationships is what getting rid of parenting and child-like behaviors is all about. ‘Parents’ learn to stop believing that ‘pushing’ and ‘dictating’ are the best way to get things done while ‘child-like’ ADHD partners stop giving up their autonomy and power to another…taking responsibility for being reliable enough in the relationship. It is then that partners can negotiate – on equal terms – the give and take of a genuine partnership.

If you’re experiencing parent/child dynamics, it’s time to figure out how to move beyond this enslavement. Consider taking our couples seminar, The ADHD Effect In-Depth, for help.

Registration SpotLight:

Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar (Starts Sept. 15)
Our flagship 9-session live Zoom program to help couples impacted by ADHD understand their relationship dynamics, improve communication, and create lasting change.
Learn More | Register Now

ADHD Partner?
New live course, Taking Action: Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners, (Starts September 16). Join Ari Tuckman, Rachel Ban, and Melissa Orlov as they teach practical skills to build a healthier, stronger relationship. → Register Now

Seminars, Groups:

Taking Action: Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners (Starts Sept. 16)

Join Ari Tuckman, Rachel Ban, and Melissa Orlov for our new live course designed specifically for ADHD partners to build the relationship skills for a healthier, stronger relationship.

Learn More | Register Now

Self-Study Seminar (Available Anytime)
Learn at your own pace with recordings, worksheets, and Q&A sessions from our live seminar.
Learn More | Enroll Now

Intent to Action Membership (Open Enrollment)
Ongoing expert guidance, live support, and a community to help you turn insights into lasting habits.
Learn More | Join Now

Non-ADHD Partner Support Groups (Registration Open)
Join a small Zoom group (10 participants or fewer) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll become part of a community exploring similar issues, learn from each other's successes and struggles, and find new ways to be your best self in your relationship.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

Couples Support Groups (Registration Open)
Join a small Zoom group (5 couples maximum) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll learn alongside other couples navigating similar challenges, strengthen your connection, and build the relationship skills needed to navigate tension and restore connection together.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group (Ongoing)

Work one-on-one with an ADHD expert who understands the unique challenges faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. Many participants find that combining consulting with the Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar provides the greatest benefit.

Learn More | Schedule a Consultation

For Mental Health Professionals

Do you work with individuals or couples impacted by ADHD? Expand your expertise with resources created specifically for mental health professionals. Explore our professional training opportunities and affiliate program, or register for the Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar and receive $50 off.

Professional Resources | MHP Seminar Registration ($50 Off)

Free Resources:

Is there hope? This video may help you answer that question:

Register for free marriage tips here! "Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."